Barnes does the Texas lemons rally

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Barnes93cb
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:03 am

A bunch of us from work have convinced our boss to let us do the Texas lemons rally. For those who don’t know. Price limit is $500 for the car. But you can go over under certain circumstances.

I don’t know what we can go over by. I don’t really know what the approval process is. The idea was brought up to me today. I threw my name in immediately without thinking.

What I’m looking for are ideas for vehicles. Semi reliable. We have four guys who can kinda work on cars. The desire to have a fun time. And not drive a Honda Civic.

So far we found a Volvo wagon for 1k and a Mercedes limo with a v8 for 2k.

I have no idea what we will settle on. But it’s four days driving all over Texas in November.

Whatcha got for ideas. And links that are in Texas are even better.


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https://24hoursoflemons.com/lemons-rall ... exas-2019/

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Last edited by Barnes93cb on Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

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troyguitar
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:13 am

Ford Probe

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Barnes93cb
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:18 am

troyguitar wrote:Ford Probe
That’s too logical. We want something more out there. Plus that’s gonna be a tight fit for four adult males. One of which is my fatass.


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Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:46 am

I'll give you the run down tomorrow when I'm at a computer. Along with questions to ask for what you're looking for.

My friend and I are currently looking at entering next years lemons in Nola

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Barnes93cb
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 2:16 am

Acid666 wrote:I'll give you the run down tomorrow when I'm at a computer. Along with questions to ask for what you're looking for.

My friend and I are currently looking at entering next years lemons in Nola
Hell yeah. We want something that will hopefully make it. We will fix as needed.

But most importantly. All the points we can get. And drive something ridiculous.

No brand bias as we have a group who owns jeeps, vw, Miata, brz, and 68 mustang fastback that is beat to hell and back.


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Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:31 am

geo prizm might fit the bill, if its approved? :iono:
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:08 am

Rally's don't usually value speed over reliability. I have no idea about the Lemons one, but you usually have a time to get from one checkpoint to the next, and you need to be as close to that time as possible.

For four people, id be looking for something like an old Volvo, Crown Vic, Caprice, etc. Something big and dead reliable.
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My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.

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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:41 am

Volvo wagon chopped into a crew cab truck and lifted on big tires. Bonus points for removable hard top. Call it the Sad-iator

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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:46 am

Road rally’s are timed events that you have to drive specific speeds for. Usually at or under speed limits. And the key is to be exact, not at all fast.

Get an old dodge caravan.

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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:49 am

CaleDeRoo wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:41 am
Volvo wagon chopped into a crew cab truck and lifted on big tires. Bonus points for removable hard top. Call it the Sad-iator
This would be awesome.

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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:52 am

Paint the caravan to look like a pirate ship, you all dress as pirates, put a sail on top, and call it the cARRRRavan

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Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:17 am

Ok I dug into it a little. It's a rally, so yeah, it's all about the points. The thing about Lemons is that it's not about winning first place for speed and time, it's about the spirit of the race, and actually finishing. For the regular Lemons races, you don't win that race on the track, you win it in the pits. By being able to keep a car running and outlasting other people. But the track events are completely different than this rally. For the track, they're SUPER strict on their safety tech. Their roll cage inspection is serious and they'll deny you in a heartbeat. But there's a 2nd tech called "BS Tech" where you can bribe the judges and try to convince them that you didn't spend over $500 on the car. For every $10 they think you spent over $500, they'll penalize you 1 lap.

For rally, it looks like all they do is make sure it rolls and is safe overall. And you're just doing highway speeds in a straight line, so it's not like you're redlining the thing for 24 hours. So I'd just go with whatever car you can find that's unique. Because a rare car + a good team theme goes a long way with these guys.
For the 24 hour race, the top prize is the "Index of Effluency", which is basically the car and team that embodies the actual essence of the whole Lemons experience. Given to a piece of shit car that's totally unique that shouldn't have finished the race but did. That's what the Lemons guys look for.

If I were you guys, I'd probably go with that limo if you think you can keep it running. It'll be unique, you just need a good theme to make it catch some eyes.
Since it's a big long car, I'd personally find a way to put a dome on the top of it, and recreate the Deathmobile from Animal House. You'd totally get some mega points for that shit.
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:55 am

Ohh I thought this was regular lemons racing. If you need to haul 4 dudes and tools+spares+luggage at regular highway speed then that's a different task.

Can you get something exotic from Mexico?

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Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:13 am

troyguitar wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:55 am
Ohh I thought this was regular lemons racing. If you need to haul 4 dudes and tools+spares+luggage at regular highway speed then that's a different task.

Can you get something exotic from Mexico?

Yeah I had to read up on it to find that out. Normal Lemons rules is the $500 car, but this says nothing of it. No roll cage, no distilled water instead of antifreeze, etc.
So it's more of a theme thing in what looks like an overall junker than it is about competing in a wheel to wheel race on the track. The good thing about highway speeds at moderate rpms is that it's relatively low load on the engine, and there's constant airflow so keeping cool isn't as big of a deal. But if you're doing 120mph for long stints and treating it like the fucking Gumball 3000, you're gonna need some more prep. You'd need an airboater with a fanny pack full of JB Weld

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Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:02 pm

troyguitar wrote:Ohh I thought this was regular lemons racing. If you need to haul 4 dudes and tools+spares+luggage at regular highway speed then that's a different task.

Can you get something exotic from Mexico?
I wish. But we aren’t allowed to visit Mexico.


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Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:04 pm

Acid666 wrote:Ok I dug into it a little. It's a rally, so yeah, it's all about the points. The thing about Lemons is that it's not about winning first place for speed and time, it's about the spirit of the race, and actually finishing. For the regular Lemons races, you don't win that race on the track, you win it in the pits. By being able to keep a car running and outlasting other people. But the track events are completely different than this rally. For the track, they're SUPER strict on their safety tech. Their roll cage inspection is serious and they'll deny you in a heartbeat. But there's a 2nd tech called "BS Tech" where you can bribe the judges and try to convince them that you didn't spend over $500 on the car. For every $10 they think you spent over $500, they'll penalize you 1 lap.

For rally, it looks like all they do is make sure it rolls and is safe overall. And you're just doing highway speeds in a straight line, so it's not like you're redlining the thing for 24 hours. So I'd just go with whatever car you can find that's unique. Because a rare car + a good team theme goes a long way with these guys.
For the 24 hour race, the top prize is the "Index of Effluency", which is basically the car and team that embodies the actual essence of the whole Lemons experience. Given to a piece of shit car that's totally unique that shouldn't have finished the race but did. That's what the Lemons guys look for.

If I were you guys, I'd probably go with that limo if you think you can keep it running. It'll be unique, you just need a good theme to make it catch some eyes.
Since it's a big long car, I'd personally find a way to put a dome on the top of it, and recreate the Deathmobile from Animal House. You'd totally get some mega points for that shit.
Image
We are doing a shark theme since our unit mascot is a shark. And the commander is allowing us to go do this instead of work.

Gotta play the game to get free leave days.

I think the limo would be great. And the four of us should be able to keep it running.


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Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:57 pm

Barnes93cb wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:04 pm
Acid666 wrote:Ok I dug into it a little. It's a rally, so yeah, it's all about the points. The thing about Lemons is that it's not about winning first place for speed and time, it's about the spirit of the race, and actually finishing. For the regular Lemons races, you don't win that race on the track, you win it in the pits. By being able to keep a car running and outlasting other people. But the track events are completely different than this rally. For the track, they're SUPER strict on their safety tech. Their roll cage inspection is serious and they'll deny you in a heartbeat. But there's a 2nd tech called "BS Tech" where you can bribe the judges and try to convince them that you didn't spend over $500 on the car. For every $10 they think you spent over $500, they'll penalize you 1 lap.

For rally, it looks like all they do is make sure it rolls and is safe overall. And you're just doing highway speeds in a straight line, so it's not like you're redlining the thing for 24 hours. So I'd just go with whatever car you can find that's unique. Because a rare car + a good team theme goes a long way with these guys.
For the 24 hour race, the top prize is the "Index of Effluency", which is basically the car and team that embodies the actual essence of the whole Lemons experience. Given to a piece of shit car that's totally unique that shouldn't have finished the race but did. That's what the Lemons guys look for.

If I were you guys, I'd probably go with that limo if you think you can keep it running. It'll be unique, you just need a good theme to make it catch some eyes.
Since it's a big long car, I'd personally find a way to put a dome on the top of it, and recreate the Deathmobile from Animal House. You'd totally get some mega points for that shit.
Image
We are doing a shark theme since our unit mascot is a shark. And the commander is allowing us to go do this instead of work.

Gotta play the game to get free leave days.

I think the limo would be great. And the four of us should be able to keep it running.


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:popcorn:

This would be crazy challenging but a stretch limo Fiero Jeremy Clarkson style would be awesome.

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Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:57 pm

Barnes93cb wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:04 pm
Acid666 wrote:Ok I dug into it a little. It's a rally, so yeah, it's all about the points. The thing about Lemons is that it's not about winning first place for speed and time, it's about the spirit of the race, and actually finishing. For the regular Lemons races, you don't win that race on the track, you win it in the pits. By being able to keep a car running and outlasting other people. But the track events are completely different than this rally. For the track, they're SUPER strict on their safety tech. Their roll cage inspection is serious and they'll deny you in a heartbeat. But there's a 2nd tech called "BS Tech" where you can bribe the judges and try to convince them that you didn't spend over $500 on the car. For every $10 they think you spent over $500, they'll penalize you 1 lap.

For rally, it looks like all they do is make sure it rolls and is safe overall. And you're just doing highway speeds in a straight line, so it's not like you're redlining the thing for 24 hours. So I'd just go with whatever car you can find that's unique. Because a rare car + a good team theme goes a long way with these guys.
For the 24 hour race, the top prize is the "Index of Effluency", which is basically the car and team that embodies the actual essence of the whole Lemons experience. Given to a piece of shit car that's totally unique that shouldn't have finished the race but did. That's what the Lemons guys look for.

If I were you guys, I'd probably go with that limo if you think you can keep it running. It'll be unique, you just need a good theme to make it catch some eyes.
Since it's a big long car, I'd personally find a way to put a dome on the top of it, and recreate the Deathmobile from Animal House. You'd totally get some mega points for that shit.
Image
We are doing a shark theme since our unit mascot is a shark. And the commander is allowing us to go do this instead of work.

Gotta play the game to get free leave days.

I think the limo would be great. And the four of us should be able to keep it running.


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:popcorn:

This would be crazy challenging but a stretch limo Fiero Jeremy Clarkson style would be awesome.

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Barnes93cb
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Thu Aug 15, 2019 1:59 am

D Griff wrote:
Barnes93cb wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:04 pm
We are doing a shark theme since our unit mascot is a shark. And the commander is allowing us to go do this instead of work.

Gotta play the game to get free leave days.

I think the limo would be great. And the four of us should be able to keep it running.


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:popcorn:

This would be crazy challenging but a stretch limo Fiero Jeremy Clarkson style would be awesome.
Keeping an old Mercedes limo together while we drive 2k miles in four days may pose a challenge. But it would also be badass. Our biggest issue will be parts. We will likely need to order the common issue parts in advance to carry in the car. I’m sure a certain level of maintenance will be needed ahead of time.


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Thu Aug 15, 2019 6:28 am

Barnes93cb wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 1:59 am
D Griff wrote:
:popcorn:

This would be crazy challenging but a stretch limo Fiero Jeremy Clarkson style would be awesome.
Keeping an old Mercedes limo together while we drive 2k miles in four days may pose a challenge. But it would also be badass. Our biggest issue will be parts. We will likely need to order the common issue parts in advance to carry in the car. I’m sure a certain level of maintenance will be needed ahead of time.


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in4pics of Mercedes.

When is the rally? Would it be possible to buy the car now and have one of you DD it to kind of see where the pain points are and what spares will be beneficial to have on hand?

One thing to consider - something 'murican will have parts availability at almost any NAPA/Advance. I was amazed last weekend when I walked into O'Reilly with my friend and he was able to just purchase parts for his '72 Nova locally.

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Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:11 pm

D Griff wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 6:28 am
Barnes93cb wrote:
Thu Aug 15, 2019 1:59 am

Keeping an old Mercedes limo together while we drive 2k miles in four days may pose a challenge. But it would also be badass. Our biggest issue will be parts. We will likely need to order the common issue parts in advance to carry in the car. I’m sure a certain level of maintenance will be needed ahead of time.


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in4pics of Mercedes.

When is the rally? Would it be possible to buy the car now and have one of you DD it to kind of see where the pain points are and what spares will be beneficial to have on hand?

One thing to consider - something 'murican will have parts availability at almost any NAPA/Advance. I was amazed last weekend when I walked into O'Reilly with my friend and he was able to just purchase parts for his '72 Nova locally.
The rally is in November. And getting the car early is an option. But it will depend on the guy buying it. Also yes parts will be easier to get murican. But the points system is based on wow factor, and a Honda Civic or Crown Vic dont do that.

We plan to buy the common breaking items for whatever vehicle we get. Belts, fluids, hoses, etc. Maybe replace some stuff too once we inspect the car.

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Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:21 pm

Barnes93cb wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:13 pm
Also the limo as requested.

https://austin.craigslist.org/cto/d/la- ... 61248.html
You will get mega bonus points if you bring that to anything Lemons. Hell, I want it. Lol.
My friend found a 240sx that doesn't run for $500 that we're considering jumping on for the next lemons. If that limo was closer to me I'd totally pimp it. Lol

Edit: No title might be a problem tho if you need to register it and get insurance to make it road worthy. So consider that.
Edit2: I'd also lowball them to hell starting at $500K considering that he's gonna be hard pressed to sell that thing to anyone.

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Wed Aug 21, 2019 6:22 pm

Acid666 wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:21 pm
Barnes93cb wrote:
Wed Aug 21, 2019 5:13 pm
Also the limo as requested.

https://austin.craigslist.org/cto/d/la- ... 61248.html
You will get mega bonus points if you bring that to anything Lemons. Hell, I want it. Lol.
My friend found a 240sx that doesn't run for $500 that we're considering jumping on for the next lemons. If that limo was closer to me I'd totally pimp it. Lol

Edit: No title might be a problem tho if you need to register it and get insurance to make it road worthy. So consider that.
Edit2: I'd also lowball them to hell starting at $500K considering that he's gonna be hard pressed to sell that thing to anyone.
I concur, limo would be a good choice. They made a ton of the normal Mercs like that and they were quite durable, plus parts must be plentiful and cheap. Also agreed that lowballing is a must do here, that ain't a $2K car.

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Wed Aug 21, 2019 10:08 pm

Saw this tonight.....sadly my guess is that this guy just rocks this set up year round because Central PA......

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Detroit wrote:
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What do you say to the god of death?

Not today...

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