EnGAYgement Rings

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D Griff
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Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:08 pm

in4 :fax: :triggered:

I'm a very indecisive person and have been thinking about this for a long time, but I feel that the time has probably come to get engaged to my gf. While she isn't perfect, I feel that she is the perfect person for me. It's really tough to come to a decision like this, I'm not the type to just think "this is it" and dive in, but I feel comfortable and at ease with it being the right decision.

So, I'm curious about other's experiences buying one of the most :wasteful: items in American culture. I'm not here for a lecture about how stupid diamonds are. I'm already aware of this and don't really give a shit. I would like to spend my life with a woman, and some things you just have to accept and move on.

Anything to avoid? Pro tips from those who have done this? I am thinking of on line ordering from Blue Nile or James Allen. I went to a local place that supposedly has "amazeballs best prices on the East Coast" and they were 50% more than the online places. I also hate the whole jewelry store experience. Any reason to not buy online?

I'm also thinking of opening a new credit card to finance it for 15 months at 0%. Sure, I could pay cash, but I'm underwhelmed at the thought of thousands leaving my account for some metal and a stone.

Probably shopping in the $4k or so neighborhood.

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Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:11 pm

D Griff wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:08 pm
in4 :fax: :triggered:

I'm a very indecisive person and have been thinking about this for a long time, but I feel that the time has probably come to get engaged to my gf. While she isn't perfect, I feel that she is the perfect person for me. It's really tough to come to a decision like this, I'm not the type to just think "this is it" and dive in, but I feel comfortable and at ease with it being the right decision.

So, I'm curious about other's experiences buying one of the most :wasteful: items in American culture. I'm not here for a lecture about how stupid diamonds are. I'm already aware of this and don't really give a shit. I would like to spend my life with a woman, and some things you just have to accept and move on.

Anything to avoid? Pro tips from those who have done this? I am thinking of on line ordering from Blue Nile or James Allen. I went to a local place that supposedly has "amazeballs best prices on the East Coast" and they were 50% more than the online places. I also hate the whole jewelry store experience. Any reason to not buy online?

I'm also thinking of opening a new credit card to finance it for 15 months at 0%. Sure, I could pay cash, but I'm underwhelmed at the thought of thousands leaving my account for some metal and a stone.

Probably shopping in the $4k or so neighborhood.
Fully agree with doing a 0% financing on it. If they're willing to lend you that money for free, take advantage of it.
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D Griff
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Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:15 pm

SAWCE wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:11 pm
D Griff wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:08 pm
in4 :fax: :triggered:

I'm a very indecisive person and have been thinking about this for a long time, but I feel that the time has probably come to get engaged to my gf. While she isn't perfect, I feel that she is the perfect person for me. It's really tough to come to a decision like this, I'm not the type to just think "this is it" and dive in, but I feel comfortable and at ease with it being the right decision.

So, I'm curious about other's experiences buying one of the most :wasteful: items in American culture. I'm not here for a lecture about how stupid diamonds are. I'm already aware of this and don't really give a shit. I would like to spend my life with a woman, and some things you just have to accept and move on.

Anything to avoid? Pro tips from those who have done this? I am thinking of on line ordering from Blue Nile or James Allen. I went to a local place that supposedly has "amazeballs best prices on the East Coast" and they were 50% more than the online places. I also hate the whole jewelry store experience. Any reason to not buy online?

I'm also thinking of opening a new credit card to finance it for 15 months at 0%. Sure, I could pay cash, but I'm underwhelmed at the thought of thousands leaving my account for some metal and a stone.

Probably shopping in the $4k or so neighborhood.
Fully agree with doing a 0% financing on it. If they're willing to lend you that money for free, take advantage of it.
Exactly, to Max's point in the investment thread, inflation is real, so I'm technically getting something cheaper if financing for free/cheap.

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Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:03 pm

Any chance that there is a diamond somewhere in the family for her? Might want to ask her mom...
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D Griff
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Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:06 pm

Bender wrote:Any chance that there is a diamond somewhere in the family for her? Might want to ask her mom...
Her mom isn't really a thing.... :sad:

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Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:21 pm

D Griff wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 9:06 pm
Bender wrote:Any chance that there is a diamond somewhere in the family for her? Might want to ask her mom...
Her mom isn't really a thing.... :sad:
Ah dang. I was alpolucky enough for a family stone so I'm not much help.

I do think white gold is worth the cost savings over platinum if that's a discussion
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Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:01 pm

I set a budget for myself of something that I was comfortable spending, went with white gold and fairly simple design. My gf (now wife) sent me ideas of what she liked style/design wise and price was NEVER discussed between us. I bought local and don't regret it in the least. I did my research on stones beforehand though so I didn't feel like I was being talked down to or over by the salesman, and he seemed to like that I had some knowledge about what I was looking for.

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Fri Jun 08, 2018 10:19 pm

Do you know what kind of style she’s hoping to have?
Desertbreh wrote:
Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:58 pm
At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.

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D Griff
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Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:09 am

Sno wrote:Do you know what kind of style she’s hoping to have?
"one that I pick out for her" :disgust:

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:13 am

No :alpo: rich getting richer free shit here, but I had decent luck with James Allen. $3500ish for a nice ~1 ct ring that she loves. Specifics are really up to you, just look at stuff and see what you like.

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D Griff
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Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:14 am

Devilchrono wrote:I set a budget for myself of something that I was comfortable spending, went with white gold and fairly simple design. My gf (now wife) sent me ideas of what she liked style/design wise and price was NEVER discussed between us. I bought local and don't regret it in the least. I did my research on stones beforehand though so I didn't feel like I was being talked down to or over by the salesman, and he seemed to like that I had some knowledge about what I was looking for.
Fortunately she doesn't care about price and would be excited to get a $1k thing I'm sure. I'd just prefer something nice/lasting.

The sales guy at the local place I worked with was actually quite helpful and decent overall. But man, 50% more is a tough pill to swallow and I don't really want negotiating nonsense. I haven't ruled it out but online really relieves a lot of stress not having to go into the store and make a decision with someone else leaning over my shoulder and all that. Just not all that comfortable in that environment, which is funny because I myself am somewhat of a :dillerman: of a different sort.

Browsing online is comfortable and easy for me.

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D Griff
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Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:15 am

The one big advantage of local seems to be the free cleaning and "maintenance"... Is this really necessary?

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:23 am

D Griff wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:15 am
The one big advantage of local seems to be the free cleaning and "maintenance"... Is this really necessary?
Cleaning is easy to do at home, takes 30 seconds to dump what she calls "sparkle juice" on it and is worth doing often. Maintenance is generally cheap at any decent jeweler - what are the chances that you'll always live near the one place you buy it from?

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:54 am

troyguitar wrote:
D Griff wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:15 am
The one big advantage of local seems to be the free cleaning and "maintenance"... Is this really necessary?
Cleaning is easy to do at home, takes 30 seconds to dump what she calls "sparkle juice" on it and is worth doing often. Maintenance is generally cheap at any decent jeweler - what are the chances that you'll always live near the one place you buy it from?
Stupidly hadn't considered that last point but it's a good one. Even now it's a 45 minute drive on a good day.... Did you go with an online retailer?

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 2:09 am

D Griff wrote:
Devilchrono wrote:I set a budget for myself of something that I was comfortable spending, went with white gold and fairly simple design. My gf (now wife) sent me ideas of what she liked style/design wise and price was NEVER discussed between us. I bought local and don't regret it in the least. I did my research on stones beforehand though so I didn't feel like I was being talked down to or over by the salesman, and he seemed to like that I had some knowledge about what I was looking for.
Fortunately she doesn't care about price and would be excited to get a $1k thing I'm sure. I'd just prefer something nice/lasting.

The sales guy at the local place I worked with was actually quite helpful and decent overall. But man, 50% more is a tough pill to swallow and I don't really want negotiating nonsense. I haven't ruled it out but online really relieves a lot of stress not having to go into the store and make a decision with someone else leaning over my shoulder and all that. Just not all that comfortable in that environment, which is funny because I myself am somewhat of a :dillerman: of a different sort.

Browsing online is comfortable and easy for me.
I lucked out. I knew what Brit liked and she liked simple/classic. So hers is just a single diamond with a white gold band. I also opted to go for smaller but higher quality. Such sparkles.


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Sat Jun 09, 2018 2:48 am

I got lucky.

Handmade :millennial: oxidized silver Etsy ring with a small diamond inset into the band.

Image

She even picked it out.
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Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:58 am

D Griff wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:08 pm
in4 :fax: :triggered:

I'm a very indecisive person and have been thinking about this for a long time, but I feel that the time has probably come to get engaged to my gf. While she isn't perfect, I feel that she is the perfect person for me. It's really tough to come to a decision like this, I'm not the type to just think "this is it" and dive in, but I feel comfortable and at ease with it being the right decision.

So, I'm curious about other's experiences buying one of the most :wasteful: items in American culture. I'm not here for a lecture about how stupid diamonds are. I'm already aware of this and don't really give a shit. I would like to spend my life with a woman, and some things you just have to accept and move on.

Anything to avoid? Pro tips from those who have done this? I am thinking of on line ordering from Blue Nile or James Allen. I went to a local place that supposedly has "amazeballs best prices on the East Coast" and they were 50% more than the online places. I also hate the whole jewelry store experience. Any reason to not buy online?

I'm also thinking of opening a new credit card to finance it for 15 months at 0%. Sure, I could pay cash, but I'm underwhelmed at the thought of thousands leaving my account for some metal and a stone.

Probably shopping in the $4k or so neighborhood.
I found that in-store was significantly more expensive than online and you may or may not find what you want to get.

I ordered Jill’s from Ritani. Purchased the diamond and the setting and had them send it to a local jeweler for an in-store viewing. Overall a good experience.

Fwiw spend money on color, clarity, and cut. Jill’s diamond isn’t yuuuge compared to a lot of the engagement rings I see, but the way it sparkles is eye catching.
Melon wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:41 pm
Don't discuss things you want on here.

This is only a place for 100% facts.

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:54 am

4zilch wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:58 am
D Griff wrote:
Fri Jun 08, 2018 8:08 pm
in4 :fax: :triggered:

I'm a very indecisive person and have been thinking about this for a long time, but I feel that the time has probably come to get engaged to my gf. While she isn't perfect, I feel that she is the perfect person for me. It's really tough to come to a decision like this, I'm not the type to just think "this is it" and dive in, but I feel comfortable and at ease with it being the right decision.

So, I'm curious about other's experiences buying one of the most :wasteful: items in American culture. I'm not here for a lecture about how stupid diamonds are. I'm already aware of this and don't really give a shit. I would like to spend my life with a woman, and some things you just have to accept and move on.

Anything to avoid? Pro tips from those who have done this? I am thinking of on line ordering from Blue Nile or James Allen. I went to a local place that supposedly has "amazeballs best prices on the East Coast" and they were 50% more than the online places. I also hate the whole jewelry store experience. Any reason to not buy online?

I'm also thinking of opening a new credit card to finance it for 15 months at 0%. Sure, I could pay cash, but I'm underwhelmed at the thought of thousands leaving my account for some metal and a stone.

Probably shopping in the $4k or so neighborhood.
I found that in-store was significantly more expensive than online and you may or may not find what you want to get.

I ordered Jill’s from Ritani. Purchased the diamond and the setting and had them send it to a local jeweler for an in-store viewing. Overall a good experience.

Fwiw spend money on color, clarity, and cut. Jill’s diamond isn’t yuuuge compared to a lot of the engagement rings I see, but the way it sparkles is eye catching.
It gets compliments constantly and people have told me it catches them from across a room.
troyguitar wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:23 am
D Griff wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:15 am
The one big advantage of local seems to be the free cleaning and "maintenance"... Is this really necessary?
Cleaning is easy to do at home, takes 30 seconds to dump what she calls "sparkle juice" on it and is worth doing often. Maintenance is generally cheap at any decent jeweler - what are the chances that you'll always live near the one place you buy it from?
This isn’t the same type of cleaning the jeweler does. And the ring also needs inspected at least once a year. Diamonds are set with tension and prongs. All things that can come loose with daily wear and tear.

Griff - set your budget. Stick to it. (Keep in mind the wedding band still has to come, too) If she happens to have pinterest, chances are there are some things on there that she likes but they might be in a private board or you may have to do some digging. Enlist her best friend or sister, they can help direct on style. Chances are you’re going to be overwhelmed with all the choices that are involved even after picking a stone. And a style she loves is more important than the stone, I promise. Note her daily jewelry - silver, gold,? Are earrings one big stone or several stones?

You will also need a general idea on sizing but always size up, if needed. If she has rings that she wears with outfits, you can use those as a guide. Print out a sheet off the Internet with sizing and just lay the ring over top it to gauge sizing.

And hire a planner.
Desertbreh wrote:
Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:58 pm
At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 8:35 am

:nevermind:
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Sat Jun 09, 2018 9:25 am

D Griff wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:14 am
Devilchrono wrote:I set a budget for myself of something that I was comfortable spending, went with white gold and fairly simple design. My gf (now wife) sent me ideas of what she liked style/design wise and price was NEVER discussed between us. I bought local and don't regret it in the least. I did my research on stones beforehand though so I didn't feel like I was being talked down to or over by the salesman, and he seemed to like that I had some knowledge about what I was looking for.
Fortunately she doesn't care about price and would be excited to get a $1k thing I'm sure. I'd just prefer something nice/lasting.

The sales guy at the local place I worked with was actually quite helpful and decent overall. But man, 50% more is a tough pill to swallow and I don't really want negotiating nonsense. I haven't ruled it out but online really relieves a lot of stress not having to go into the store and make a decision with someone else leaning over my shoulder and all that. Just not all that comfortable in that environment, which is funny because I myself am somewhat of a :dillerman: of a different sort.

Browsing online is comfortable and easy for me.
I totally get that man, and you do what you want, just offering my advice/experience! I got lucky that she didn't "demand" a price point, just a general idea on the style: kind of a classic design that you don't see too often anymore. That meant I needed to go to a store to get a better idea honestly. I went through Shane Co. (a great local place) as they only sell about 1,000 - 2,000 of any particular design before they discontinue it.
D Griff wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:15 am
The one big advantage of local seems to be the free cleaning and "maintenance"... Is this really necessary?
If your ring has any sort of warranty, "limited" or "lifetime", then it's necessary in order to keep that intact, at least for her it is. That said though, it's not that difficult to pop in every 6 months for about 10 minutes to get it cleaned and inspected

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 9:51 am

In 4 deets. I will also be embarking on this journey this summer. Been with my gf for 9 years. I'm also looking in the same neighborhood of 3-4k. She likes the emerald cut but that's all I've got. Probably start looking around in my free time

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D Griff
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Sat Jun 09, 2018 9:54 am

Devilchrono wrote:
D Griff wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:14 am
Fortunately she doesn't care about price and would be excited to get a $1k thing I'm sure. I'd just prefer something nice/lasting.

The sales guy at the local place I worked with was actually quite helpful and decent overall. But man, 50% more is a tough pill to swallow and I don't really want negotiating nonsense. I haven't ruled it out but online really relieves a lot of stress not having to go into the store and make a decision with someone else leaning over my shoulder and all that. Just not all that comfortable in that environment, which is funny because I myself am somewhat of a :dillerman: of a different sort.

Browsing online is comfortable and easy for me.
I totally get that man, and you do what you want, just offering my advice/experience! I got lucky that she didn't "demand" a price point, just a general idea on the style: kind of a classic design that you don't see too often anymore. That meant I needed to go to a store to get a better idea honestly. I went through Shane Co. (a great local place) as they only sell about 1,000 - 2,000 of any particular design before they discontinue it.
D Griff wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:15 am
The one big advantage of local seems to be the free cleaning and "maintenance"... Is this really necessary?
If your ring has any sort of warranty, "limited" or "lifetime", then it's necessary in order to keep that intact, at least for her it is. That said though, it's not that difficult to pop in every 6 months for about 10 minutes to get it cleaned and inspected
:word:

Much appreciated. I think if she demanded a price point I'd :nope: out, that's pretty materialistic bitch spec. Allison will likely never know/ask what it costs, but if she wants to know I'll tell her :aintcare: . Not trying to impress anyone other than making her happy; I think she'll be really excited regardless.

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D Griff
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Sat Jun 09, 2018 9:57 am

Sno wrote:
4zilch wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 6:58 am
I found that in-store was significantly more expensive than online and you may or may not find what you want to get.

I ordered Jill’s from Ritani. Purchased the diamond and the setting and had them send it to a local jeweler for an in-store viewing. Overall a good experience.

Fwiw spend money on color, clarity, and cut. Jill’s diamond isn’t yuuuge compared to a lot of the engagement rings I see, but the way it sparkles is eye catching.
It gets compliments constantly and people have told me it catches them from across a room.
troyguitar wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:23 am
Cleaning is easy to do at home, takes 30 seconds to dump what she calls "sparkle juice" on it and is worth doing often. Maintenance is generally cheap at any decent jeweler - what are the chances that you'll always live near the one place you buy it from?
This isn’t the same type of cleaning the jeweler does. And the ring also needs inspected at least once a year. Diamonds are set with tension and prongs. All things that can come loose with daily wear and tear.

Griff - set your budget. Stick to it. (Keep in mind the wedding band still has to come, too) If she happens to have pinterest, chances are there are some things on there that she likes but they might be in a private board or you may have to do some digging. Enlist her best friend or sister, they can help direct on style. Chances are you’re going to be overwhelmed with all the choices that are involved even after picking a stone. And a style she loves is more important than the stone, I promise. Note her daily jewelry - silver, gold,? Are earrings one big stone or several stones?

You will also need a general idea on sizing but always size up, if needed. If she has rings that she wears with outfits, you can use those as a guide. Print out a sheet off the Internet with sizing and just lay the ring over top it to gauge sizing.

And hire a planner.
Thanks for the pro tips.

We did look at some things on Pinterest a while back, don't think she has a wedding board but that's a good idea, I'll check. Her jewelry style is more on the simple side, but she was pretty open minded. I can show what I'm looking at here later when I'm in a hotel.


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Sat Jun 09, 2018 9:57 am

Personally I would skimp on clarity.

I went balls deep into how diamonds are rated and found that if you get the color and cut you like, the untrained eye wont notice a lot of difference between clarity ratings

I had a jeweler my family has known for years show me a bunch of different diamonds of different ratings to help prove that to me

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Sat Jun 09, 2018 10:47 am

KYGTIGuy wrote:
Sat Jun 09, 2018 9:57 am
Personally I would skimp on clarity.

I went balls deep into how diamonds are rated and found that if you get the color and cut you like, the untrained eye wont notice a lot of difference between clarity ratings

I had a jeweler my family has known for years show me a bunch of different diamonds of different ratings to help prove that to me
I respectfully disagree with dis. Clarity is what makes it sparkle and the sparkle is way more life standing than the size.
Desertbreh wrote:
Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:58 pm
At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.

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