OT 19: Masks On, Clothes Off, Right Hand Left Titty

[Apex]

Happiness is a funny thing. I've said it here before that I think it starts from within. Obviously you can't simply "decide to be happy" but you can certainly decide to focus on the things that make you happy.

It's gloomy here today. Lack of sun is tough for me. Yet since it's gloomy it's comfortable enough to open the windows and I can hear the crickets going in that end of summer all day song. It's soothing and that makes me happy sun or not.

You may not be able to decide to be happy, but you can make the active decision to take the positive view instead of the easier approach of falling into the darkness of negativity.

[Tar]

Yeah man, I'm implimenting every advantage possible to give my kids the tools that they need to self-sufficient and successful. If it helps them to have a mode of transportation to get to a job then they can have it, or at least get part of it subsided, otherwise they are stuck in a catch 22: need car to keep job, need job to pay for car.

Agreed. And while Trudy's parents perhaps went above and beyond by getting him a very nice hot hatch instead of, say, a used H, which would accomplish exactly the same task of reliable transportation, I don't begrudge him that his folks were able to do what they did, especially since he helped them help him buy earning his scholarship.

A little extra but it doesn't make a big difference, if anything it enabled others to make him feel guilt or shame assuming he was susceptible to it from his peers. That car is long gone, and Rudy has grown up issues like the rest of us and handles them with the grace of a hard working and mature gentleman.

[wap]

Deets.

Keep catching up,

Almost there!

[D Griff]

Man... one thing I've been rather annoyed with as of late, I feel like all of the couple we know are obsessed with talking real estate. Every time we hang out with another couple it's all about the next great house, or that new kitchen reno, buying the vacation home. There's nothing wrong with this, but it gets under my skin over time as it's not something I personally care much about, I would be perfectly content in a double wide. Is this just an age thing, a society thing? Do everyone's friends obsess over it so much? It is certainly prevalent on these forums as well, I would be so much happier if my house was X Y or Z. I think many here just enjoy the working with their hands aspect and I get that, not trying to call anyone out, just curious if this is universal. I don't know how many more dinner dates with three hours of reno/real estate conversation I can take.

I find the trends pretty interesting and I like seeing what people are working on and how they get to the end goals. The cabin in the forest is a cool spin on the usual.

Aside from that it gets old after about ten or fifteen minutes and having a variety of other subject matter is appreciated.

I haven't really noticed that much house talk IRL but I'm probably five to eight years older as are most of my friends so at the stage where most people are settled into their place for a few years and on to other challenges so I think that diverts the convo. You spent a whole weekend with your dead sister who lives for real estate income and house flipping or whatever so you're probably by her thinking out loud about her challenges , fears and successes with it RN. I'm sure that you'll be discussing lawns and stuff in a few days once the weekend wears off, LOL

I like hearing what's on other people's minds mainly because I'm a bit quiet and insecure about leading the conversations sometimes so listening is just easier. I find that I usually talk about what is on my mind, and that is typically things that I am perplexed by in my daily routine, real estate was there front and center at one point, but not too much now. It is curious how markets move and what implications it has on spending habits etc..

Right now I'm stressed out about work wanting me to be very present during a week that kids are getting back to school, my wife needing qiet time to write a test for work which will make or break her position, and our anniversary that we are planning on celebrating this weekend. It seems like so many things are all coming at me at once. My saving grace is that I've been here before and typically handle it effectively and with a preprogrammed method mentally which keeps me from tail spinning into an emotional despair.

Yeah, hanging with my sis/BIL definitely contributed to these feels, although I do really enjoy it, they are obsessed. It's other couples we know to... more and more I just kind of want to be alone , or with a few select people I really enjoy/have a lot in common with. My wife is pretty determined/into setting up these double date get together deals/having people over to chill on our patio and I'm just like, meh, can I just be alone all weekend?

Sorry about the stress man, when it rains it pours. You seem to get through stuff with aplomb

[wap]

Happiness is a funny thing. I've said it here before that I think it starts from within. Obviously you can't simply "decide to be happy" but you can certainly decide to focus on the things that make you happy.

It's gloomy here today. Lack of sun is tough for me. Yet since it's gloomy it's comfortable enough to open the windows and I can hear the crickets going in that end of summer all day song. It's soothing and that makes me happy sun or not.

You may not be able to decide to be happy, but you can make the active decision to take the positive view instead of the easier approach of falling into the darkness of negativity.

[wap]

Agreed. And while Trudy's parents perhaps went above and beyond by getting him a very nice hot hatch instead of, say, a used H, which would accomplish exactly the same task of reliable transportation, I don't begrudge him that his folks were able to do what they did, especially since he helped them help him buy earning his scholarship.

A little extra but it doesn't make a big difference, if anything it enabled others to make him feel guilt or shame assuming he was susceptible to it from his peers. That car is long gone, and Rudy has grown up issues like the rest of us and handles them with the grace of a hard working and mature gentleman.

[Tar]

I find the trends pretty interesting and I like seeing what people are working on and how they get to the end goals. The cabin in the forest is a cool spin on the usual.

Aside from that it gets old after about ten or fifteen minutes and having a variety of other subject matter is appreciated.

I haven't really noticed that much house talk IRL but I'm probably five to eight years older as are most of my friends so at the stage where most people are settled into their place for a few years and on to other challenges so I think that diverts the convo. You spent a whole weekend with your dead sister who lives for real estate income and house flipping or whatever so you're probably by her thinking out loud about her challenges , fears and successes with it RN. I'm sure that you'll be discussing lawns and stuff in a few days once the weekend wears off, LOL

I like hearing what's on other people's minds mainly because I'm a bit quiet and insecure about leading the conversations sometimes so listening is just easier. I find that I usually talk about what is on my mind, and that is typically things that I am perplexed by in my daily routine, real estate was there front and center at one point, but not too much now. It is curious how markets move and what implications it has on spending habits etc..

Right now I'm stressed out about work wanting me to be very present during a week that kids are getting back to school, my wife needing qiet time to write a test for work which will make or break her position, and our anniversary that we are planning on celebrating this weekend. It seems like so many things are all coming at me at once. My saving grace is that I've been here before and typically handle it effectively and with a preprogrammed method mentally which keeps me from tail spinning into an emotional despair.

Yeah, hanging with my sis/BIL definitely contributed to these feels, although I do really enjoy it, they are obsessed. It's other couples we know to... more and more I just kind of want to be alone , or with a few select people I really enjoy/have a lot in common with. My wife is pretty determined/into setting up these double date get together deals/having people over to chill on our patio and I'm just like, meh, can I just be alone all weekend?

Sorry about the stress man, when it rains it pours. You seem to get through stuff with aplomb

Yeah who wouldn't feel that way!

I'm good with the challenges, it is typical life stuff that I deal with nothing tragic. I find self pity makes things worse and amplifies feels and does nothing to resolve them, so I'm not going down that road. Physical or mental. I take a let's see how things unfold approach for the things that are out of my reach, for the most part they sort themselves out along the way or become more clear by the time I need to make a move. In the meantime I chip away at ones right in front of me.

[4zilch]

Happiness is a funny thing. I've said it here before that I think it starts from within. Obviously you can't simply "decide to be happy" but you can certainly decide to focus on the things that make you happy.

It's gloomy here today. Lack of sun is tough for me. Yet since it's gloomy it's comfortable enough to open the windows and I can hear the crickets going in that end of summer all day song. It's soothing and that makes me happy sun or not.

You may not be able to decide to be happy, but you can make the active decision to take the positive view instead of the easier approach of falling into the darkness of negativity.

Without going into the Zen/Buddhist rabbit hole, practicing a peaceful state of mind brings happiness/contentment. We often tie the sources of happiness to the things we desire.

[4zilch]

Yeah, the rat race to bigger and better home ownershit is a lot of for me. I can understand home improvement projects to improve a space, and for many people it's a legit hobby. But I see people selling and buying houses a mile or two away because it's bigger, or has a better yard, etc. I just don't get it. Buy and selling is stressful, moving is stressful - so if it's not really a requirement (like having more crotchfruit, relocating for a job, etc) then why bother?

Conversely real estate and/or land ownershit investment is one of the few ways that the middle class can still build generational wealth.

One reason we have considered moving to a different house that's functionally in the same neighborhood has been to have a place that is setup more appropriately for multiple people working from home with kids around. It's unlikely that we will do it as we have made it work reasonably well but we probably wouldn't have picked this specific house if we knew COVID would change how we worked and played.

Yeah, I could certainly understand those decisions from a practical point of view. I think the ones that Griff and I are thinking of are the ones that just want to

[D Griff]

One reason we have considered moving to a different house that's functionally in the same neighborhood has been to have a place that is setup more appropriately for multiple people working from home with kids around. It's unlikely that we will do it as we have made it work reasonably well but we probably wouldn't have picked this specific house if we knew COVID would change how we worked and played.

Yeah, I could certainly understand those decisions from a practical point of view. I think the ones that Griff and I are thinking of are the ones that just want to

... and/or obsessing over the wealth building aspect of the home.

[Melon]

Happiness is also found at the accomplishment of goals, whether large or small, a continual state of improvement is something I have found to be a constant source of life satisfaction.

[Melon]

And with that being said, the acquisition of material items can be a source of happiness, but more so as achieving a certain goal, rather than the obtaining of the item itself.
I.e. I worked hard, saved up, and purchased this thing. It's the entirety of the process that's the reward, not just the fleeting happiness of acquiring a thing.

[troyguitar]

So you should be happy with what you have, so long as you have more than you had, but you shouldn't care what you have because nobody needs anything.

[Apex]

So you should be happy with what you have, so long as you have more than you had, but you shouldn't care what you have because nobody needs anything.

No.

[Melon]

So you should be happy with what you have, so long as you have more than you had, but you shouldn't care what you have because nobody needs anything.

Goals can be just doing simple tasks better.
As I get used to the 328, I'm trying to perfect heel toe-ing.
I have/had issues with my foot preventing my walks, but I'm getting back into it.
I'm trying to be more patient with people, and in 2020 a lot of relationships have soured.
I'm trying to be a better cook.
I'm trying to get better at FPS gaming.

None of these equate to more stuff, but they're small goals I work at, and when improvement is seen, I get a little bit of joy from it all.

[D Griff]

So you should be happy with what you have, so long as you have more than you had, but you shouldn't care what you have because nobody needs anything.

It isn't a matter of should/shouldn't, but it's certainly easier to be happy with what you have when it's more than you had. I feel like I am rich when others here think they are not even though they are in fact richer than me. It is easier to get more than get less, but it's possible to be happy in any case.

[troyguitar]

Skills are also "things" that you have. So are relationships and experiences. I'm not sure where this idea that one can only "have" material possessions comes from, but it sure as fucking hell never came from me.

[D Griff]

Skills are also "things" that you have. So are relationships and experiences. I'm not sure where this idea that one can only "have" material possessions comes from, but it sure as fucking hell never came from me.

Bruh, besides the Mrs and I having a girlfriend, this is all you talk about when you bring up happiness and what you "have" on here. You might not even realize it but that's all you do.

NO one else here really gets super fired up about things outside of cars, the bike thread, and houses for some people.

[troyguitar]

Skills are also "things" that you have. So are relationships and experiences. I'm not sure where this idea that one can only "have" material possessions comes from, but it sure as fucking hell never came from me.

Bruh, besides the Mrs and I having a girlfriend, this is all you talk about when you bring up happiness and what you "have" on here. You might not even realize it but that's all you do.

I want to be able to ride a bike without 24/7 pain. I want to be as strong as I was a month ago. I want to live somewhere warm and civilized. I want to be able to have other people like me enough to invite me to things. I want to develop my singing, ear training, song writing, recording, and production skills enough to put out a few albums and play some shows that I enjoy listening to. I want to be good enough as a musician to be invited to play with other people.

These are all things that I have discussed on this very board. You choose to ignore them and reduce me to a caricature of a few things that you don't like. Thanks, Paul. You're the best.

[4zilch]

Bruh, besides the Mrs and I having a girlfriend, this is all you talk about when you bring up happiness and what you "have" on here. You might not even realize it but that's all you do.

I want to be able to ride a bike without 24/7 pain. I want to be as strong as I was a month ago. I want to live somewhere warm and civilized. I want to be able to have other people like me enough to invite me to things. I want to develop my singing, ear training, song writing, recording, and production skills enough to put out a few albums and play some shows that I enjoy listening to. I want to be good enough as a musician to be invited to play with other people.

Quoting myself... We often tie the sources of happiness to the things we desire.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting those things Troy, all of them are attainable with various levels of effort and practice. However, you can be happy without any of them.

[Melon]

Skills are also "things" that you have. So are relationships and experiences. I'm not sure where this idea that one can only "have" material possessions comes from, but it sure as fucking hell never came from me.

Because I took this to mean material things, mybad for the misunderstanding.

So you should be happy with what you have, so long as you have more than you had, but you shouldn't care what you have because nobody needs anything.

[wap]

I want to be able to ride a bike without 24/7 pain. I want to be as strong as I was a month ago. I want to live somewhere warm and civilized. I want to be able to have other people like me enough to invite me to things. I want to develop my singing, ear training, song writing, recording, and production skills enough to put out a few albums and play some shows that I enjoy listening to. I want to be good enough as a musician to be invited to play with other people.

These are all things that I have discussed on this very board. You choose to ignore them and reduce me to a caricature of a few things that you don't like. Thanks, Paul. You're the best.

You're right, I misstated. You do bring up lots of other stuff that frankly people are into here (I know nothing about music so can't contribute but love reading about your stuff). A better way to phrase would be "you're the only one that brings up stuff when it comes to happiness."

You're not a caricature to me, but we are most certainly very similar as I feel like one to you. I've tried for a long time to help you see me as more than what you assigned to me few years ago. It hasn't happened yet but it will happen one day.

Ruh roh. The robot is becoming sentient and self aware.

[troyguitar]

I want to be able to ride a bike without 24/7 pain. I want to be as strong as I was a month ago. I want to live somewhere warm and civilized. I want to be able to have other people like me enough to invite me to things. I want to develop my singing, ear training, song writing, recording, and production skills enough to put out a few albums and play some shows that I enjoy listening to. I want to be good enough as a musician to be invited to play with other people.

Quoting myself... We often tie the sources of happiness to the things we desire.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting those things Troy, all of them are attainable with various levels of effort and practice. However, you can be happy without any of them.

Maybe you can. I cannot.

[4zilch]

Quoting myself... We often tie the sources of happiness to the things we desire.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting those things Troy, all of them are attainable with various levels of effort and practice. However, you can be happy without any of them.

Maybe you can. I cannot.

I think anyone can

[troyguitar]

Maybe you can. I cannot.

I think anyone can

I can't be happy about failure.