The alternator in the Odyssey

the bed today.
Had a return at REI, fired up the van, and immediately a "check charge system" message popped up. Radio wouldn't work, battery and ABS lights on. Car wouldn't go into gear either, strangely. I tried raising the revs a bit, but that didn't do anything. Shut the car off, got a jump from my wife who came to rescue me. Fired right up, so the battery took a charge - that's good. By the time I got the cables off and the hoods shut, got inside the van and about 3 seconds later the message came back. Clearly the alternator isn't doing its job. So now it's parked in the REI lot and I have to decide if I want to do an alternator swap in their parking lot and then jump it again, slap a new battery in it and risk limping it home to do said alternator swap in the driveway, or have the bitch towed. Stupid hooptie.