OT 14: No Luck for Old Men

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D Griff
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razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:08 am
Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:45 am

DC can be tough. It's kind of a unique environment there.

Hm. There's got to be some stuff aside from meetup.com to find things to do with new people. I can ask GF's brother if you want.
She has this singing app that she meets people across the world and they sing and have group chats and stuff, kinda like we have DFD for car talk and whatnot. It’s pretty 5/7

Tbh, I don’t really care for DC either. I barely go into DC. Only time I do is when I have friends/family visit me (roads suck, parking sucks, etc.)

I am not really a fan of the whole rat race mentality that I see here. Lots of people in a hurry to get nowhere.

That being said, I will follow my career path and trajectory wherever it may take me. I am pretty adaptable. She isn’t. She’s more of a homebody who is comfortable with the way things are. Not necessarily a bad thing but “too much” going on makes her nervous and anxious. I really :aintcare: and I thrive under pressure.

We shall see
I've learned over the past few years that this is one of the toughest parts of a relationshit. Everyone has totally different goals and values, your number one value (or one of them now) is your career, and you'd sacrifice other things there. Her's is obviously family, familiarity, etc. It's especially interesting as we all change over time, so someone can also end up feeling a way you least expect.

Ultimately, you and her will both have to compromise, or become single and move on.

If I was single I honestly would've pursued the job with my company in Los Angeles earlier this year. Objectively, it would've been a bad choice, leaving me with a much lower effective income, not really knowing anyone... Allison was :nope: on it (for really good reasons, and she did consider it, but once we looked into it, didn't make any sense), so I gave that up. Now, I'm starting a new job I'm not really excited about, but it will pay a lot more, makes sense for my career growth (I hope), and so it's a compromise for me, but I get that objectively it was the right move.

These things really kind of suck to deal with and can be quite hard, but it all works out.
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datgrundle wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:15 am
Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:10 am

Yeah I heard Wilmington was mostly cut off from the world at this point. Good to hear they are unhurt and the house is still standing!
As much as I detest the phrase fake news, the weather channel especially hyped this storm waaaay beyond what it was. Granted when it was a Cat 3/4 that super serious but it dwindled from there. This is when they can get ratings and they do whatever they can to get em.


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Dude, fuck the weather channel.

Their whole business model is totally fear based, people lap it up and it's :bs: Awareness is a good thing, but there is no reason to hype it and cause massive panic.
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Michelle had been wanting to hit the gym more, but doesn’t like how crowded her commercial gym is after work. She goes to this place Chuze, kinda like a planet fitness, but her membership lets her bring someone for free anytime as a guest. Not a bad deal for $15/month or whatever if a couple is trying to stay in shape together for cheap.

Anyways, I told her I’d come here in the mornings for my cardio with her so she can ask me question about lifts if she has them. There is some serious talent here at 5am.
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We actually did get a decent amount of flooding in the Charlotte area, but nothing that caused any kind of catastrophic damage or mass destruction.
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datgrundle wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:15 am
Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:10 am

Yeah I heard Wilmington was mostly cut off from the world at this point. Good to hear they are unhurt and the house is still standing!
As much as I detest the phrase fake news, the weather channel especially hyped this storm waaaay beyond what it was. Granted when it was a Cat 3/4 that super serious but it dwindled from there. This is when they can get ratings and they do whatever they can to get em.


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I stopped watching weather channel and stopped using their site. It’s all clickbait fake bullshit fearmongering. I saw the flooding reports and road closures on BBC.
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Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:14 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:08 am

She has this singing app that she meets people across the world and they sing and have group chats and stuff, kinda like we have DFD for car talk and whatnot. It’s pretty 5/7

Tbh, I don’t really care for DC either. I barely go into DC. Only time I do is when I have friends/family visit me (roads suck, parking sucks, etc.)

I am not really a fan of the whole rat race mentality that I see here. Lots of people in a hurry to get nowhere.

That being said, I will follow my career path and trajectory wherever it may take me. I am pretty adaptable. She isn’t. She’s more of a homebody who is comfortable with the way things are. Not necessarily a bad thing but “too much” going on makes her nervous and anxious. I really :aintcare: and I thrive under pressure.

We shall see
It’s a good place for ambitious young people that want to quickly move upwards. Rat race is true.

DC roads blow yes and parking is NGH but the city itself is alright if you know where to go or care. Like Philly. Just with far more traffic.
No I know. The city itself is really fun to explore. But :iono: I just don’t go that often.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Also, there was a giant cockroach on my bathroom wall this morning. 2.5-3” long. Missed grabbing him by a hair. He lives under my vanity now.

Gonna need to buy some raid for in between visits from the company that my landlord/PMC has coming to spray for pests.
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D Griff wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:18 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:08 am

She has this singing app that she meets people across the world and they sing and have group chats and stuff, kinda like we have DFD for car talk and whatnot. It’s pretty 5/7

Tbh, I don’t really care for DC either. I barely go into DC. Only time I do is when I have friends/family visit me (roads suck, parking sucks, etc.)

I am not really a fan of the whole rat race mentality that I see here. Lots of people in a hurry to get nowhere.

That being said, I will follow my career path and trajectory wherever it may take me. I am pretty adaptable. She isn’t. She’s more of a homebody who is comfortable with the way things are. Not necessarily a bad thing but “too much” going on makes her nervous and anxious. I really :aintcare: and I thrive under pressure.

We shall see
I've learned over the past few years that this is one of the toughest parts of a relationshit. Everyone has totally different goals and values, your number one value (or one of them now) is your career, and you'd sacrifice other things there. Her's is obviously family, familiarity, etc. It's especially interesting as we all change over time, so someone can also end up feeling a way you least expect.

Ultimately, you and her will both have to compromise, or become single and move on.

If I was single I honestly would've pursued the job with my company in Los Angeles earlier this year. Objectively, it would've been a bad choice, leaving me with a much lower effective income, not really knowing anyone... Allison was :nope: on it (for really good reasons, and she did consider it, but once we looked into it, didn't make any sense), so I gave that up. Now, I'm starting a new job I'm not really excited about, but it will pay a lot more, makes sense for my career growth (I hope), and so it's a compromise for me, but I get that objectively it was the right move.

These things really kind of suck to deal with and can be quite hard, but it all works out.
We are definitely being adults about it. We spoke and we didn’t really clash. I told her from the beginning that we should always put ourselves first in terms of aspirations career-wise/professional-wise. I always told her the relationship isn’t guaranteed so we need to ensure that we are on strong footing should it not continue.

She battles with some insecurity and self condfidence issues that I try to push her through but again I can only do so much and help so much.

I pretty much told her I want her to be happy no matter what and i don’t want her to move from place to place with me for career shit just to have her resent me 10-15 years down the road because she feels I held her back from her potential.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:28 am
Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:14 am

It’s a good place for ambitious young people that want to quickly move upwards. Rat race is true.

DC roads blow yes and parking is NGH but the city itself is alright if you know where to go or care. Like Philly. Just with far more traffic.
No I know. The city itself is really fun to explore. But :iono: I just don’t go that often.
Not much reason to go if you don’t live in it, really.
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D Griff wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:21 am
datgrundle wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:15 am

As much as I detest the phrase fake news, the weather channel especially hyped this storm waaaay beyond what it was. Granted when it was a Cat 3/4 that super serious but it dwindled from there. This is when they can get ratings and they do whatever they can to get em.


Image
Dude, fuck the weather channel.

Their whole business model is totally fear based, people lap it up and it's :bs: Awareness is a good thing, but there is no reason to hype it and cause massive panic.
:dat:

It will be the boy who cried wolf sooner than later. I'm not saying hurricanes aren't serious but I have been through 8 of them and three eyes. Wilmington gets hit A LOT because in the fall the Cape Fear river is emptying warm water (what a hurricane feeds on) into the ocean so the town is a literal Hurricane magnet. By the time it gets that far north it isn't common for the storms to be so huge it wipes buildings flat. It's normal for a hurricane to go through at least once every two years, sometimes multiple in a single year. Because of this the residents are quick and effective at preparation. They by and large know what their property & building can withstand.

In my parent's case, my father has his degree in Marine Biology from UNCW and spent his career as a farmer in NJ. He knows the land there, the ways the water ways react and has studied weather patterns his whole life more so than most people. He is very knowledgeable and annoyingly always considers the worst case scenario.I'm still mad at my parents though for not getting out of town when they had the chance for two reasons. The storm was HUGE when it was in the Atlantic & could have gotten worse, aaaaand it would have been cool for them to come up to hang out. They are older and don't travel well in the car, which was their excuse. He is a big homebody, has back issues and is disabled with a head injury. The car thing isn't invalid but still, why not use the excuse to come see their sons & be safer at the same time.
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SAWCE wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:31 am Also, there was a giant cockroach on my bathroom wall this morning. 2.5-3” long. Missed grabbing him by a hair. He lives under my vanity now.

Gonna need to buy some raid for in between visits from the company that my landlord/PMC has coming to spray for pests.
Yuck. Lisa makes me kill those. Curiously we don’t see many of them in the house but they’re def in the backyard.
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Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:36 am
SAWCE wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:31 am Also, there was a giant cockroach on my bathroom wall this morning. 2.5-3” long. Missed grabbing him by a hair. He lives under my vanity now.

Gonna need to buy some raid for in between visits from the company that my landlord/PMC has coming to spray for pests.
Yuck. Lisa makes me kill those. Curiously we don’t see many of them in the house but they’re def in the backyard.
Yeah I hate them. There were two small ones I saw the day I moved in, but a pest control company came the next day so I didn’t give it two thoughts. This is the first I’ve seen since then.
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Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:35 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:28 am

No I know. The city itself is really fun to explore. But :iono: I just don’t go that often.
Not much reason to go if you don’t live in it, really.
True story:

The day of the DC pics on our way home we were in a 25mph zone. Me being a bootlicker driving in the most polices area per square mile, I was doing 25. :mahtroy: in Charger doing 25 next to me. Then, some :tits: in an Audi TTRS behind me flashes her beams at me and then I don’t move because I can’t (since Charger next to me) and she fuckin floors it and passes me on the left (crossing a double yellow and going against traffic) to go around me. Fucking :derp:

That’s the last thing I’d do in DC for fear that all the federal police think I’m a car bomb or some shit.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:40 am
Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:35 am
Not much reason to go if you don’t live in it, really.
True story:

The day of the DC pics on our way home we were in a 25mph zone. Me being a bootlicker driving in the most polices area per square mile, I was doing 25. :mahtroy: in Charger doing 25 next to me. Then, some :tits: in an Audi TTRS behind me flashes her beams at me and then I don’t move because I can’t (since Charger next to me) and she fuckin floors it and passes me on the left (crossing a double yellow and going against traffic) to go around me. Fucking :derp:

That’s the last thing I’d do in DC for fear that all the federal police think I’m a car bomb or some shit.
You won’t get pulled over for speeding in the city unless you’re being completely reckless. They have bigger issues.
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Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:44 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:40 am

True story:

The day of the DC pics on our way home we were in a 25mph zone. Me being a bootlicker driving in the most polices area per square mile, I was doing 25. :mahtroy: in Charger doing 25 next to me. Then, some :tits: in an Audi TTRS behind me flashes her beams at me and then I don’t move because I can’t (since Charger next to me) and she fuckin floors it and passes me on the left (crossing a double yellow and going against traffic) to go around me. Fucking :derp:

That’s the last thing I’d do in DC for fear that all the federal police think I’m a car bomb or some shit.
You won’t get pulled over for speeding in the city unless you’re being completely reckless. They have bigger issues.
How much more reckless does it get than going the wrong way against traffic to overtake?

Not even by the :mahtroy: part of town either. This was on Pennsylvania Ave.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:35 am
D Griff wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:18 am

I've learned over the past few years that this is one of the toughest parts of a relationshit. Everyone has totally different goals and values, your number one value (or one of them now) is your career, and you'd sacrifice other things there. Her's is obviously family, familiarity, etc. It's especially interesting as we all change over time, so someone can also end up feeling a way you least expect.

Ultimately, you and her will both have to compromise, or become single and move on.

If I was single I honestly would've pursued the job with my company in Los Angeles earlier this year. Objectively, it would've been a bad choice, leaving me with a much lower effective income, not really knowing anyone... Allison was :nope: on it (for really good reasons, and she did consider it, but once we looked into it, didn't make any sense), so I gave that up. Now, I'm starting a new job I'm not really excited about, but it will pay a lot more, makes sense for my career growth (I hope), and so it's a compromise for me, but I get that objectively it was the right move.

These things really kind of suck to deal with and can be quite hard, but it all works out.
We are definitely being adults about it. We spoke and we didn’t really clash. I told her from the beginning that we should always put ourselves first in terms of aspirations career-wise/professional-wise. I always told her the relationship isn’t guaranteed so we need to ensure that we are on strong footing should it not continue.

She battles with some insecurity and self condfidence issues that I try to push her through but again I can only do so much and help so much.

I pretty much told her I want her to be happy no matter what and i don’t want her to move from place to place with me for career shit just to have her resent me 10-15 years down the road because she feels I held her back from her potential.
Eventually, you have to give up this mindset or basically accept being single forever. When you decide to do that is up to you. You might want to do the move anywhere for your career thing for five more years, ten more years, whatever. But in any relationshit, a point comes where it's better for one person to move and one to stay, or someone has to give up a big career jump so the other can get what they want. It's challenging and inevitable unless you have two people totally lacking in motivation, happy to just be complacent forever.

I get that it is a drag as I kind of just made it to that crossroads with my job change. Single, I would've taken the higher pay from my current job along with the risk involved that it could go away eventually. I would've been willing to relocate if it did. But trying to be reasonable, I realized putting another person through that when I could make more money at a new (but boring) job in Charlotte, just didn't make any sense. I mean, we likely wouldn't have broken up if I'd done that, but the eventual crossroads was inevitable and it would've eventually :nuke: in some way.

So just take some time to really reflect on what YOU want, it's OK if it's being with your GF ultimately, it's also OK if it's chasing the :narc: career world all over, knowing that you'll one day likely want to settle down, and it'll end up being with someone else.
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D Griff wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:55 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:35 am
We are definitely being adults about it. We spoke and we didn’t really clash. I told her from the beginning that we should always put ourselves first in terms of aspirations career-wise/professional-wise. I always told her the relationship isn’t guaranteed so we need to ensure that we are on strong footing should it not continue.

She battles with some insecurity and self condfidence issues that I try to push her through but again I can only do so much and help so much.

I pretty much told her I want her to be happy no matter what and i don’t want her to move from place to place with me for career shit just to have her resent me 10-15 years down the road because she feels I held her back from her potential.
Eventually, you have to give up this mindset or basically accept being single forever. When you decide to do that is up to you. You might want to do the move anywhere for your career thing for five more years, ten more years, whatever. But in any relationshit, a point comes where it's better for one person to move and one to stay, or someone has to give up a big career jump so the other can get what they want. It's challenging and inevitable unless you have two people totally lacking in motivation, happy to just be complacent forever.

I get that it is a drag as I kind of just made it to that crossroads with my job change. Single, I would've taken the higher pay from my current job along with the risk involved that it could go away eventually. I would've been willing to relocate if it did. But trying to be reasonable, I realized putting another person through that when I could make more money at a new (but boring) job in Charlotte, just didn't make any sense. I mean, we likely wouldn't have broken up if I'd done that, but the eventual crossroads was inevitable and it would've eventually :nuke: in some way.

So just take some time to really reflect on what YOU want, it's OK if it's being with your GF ultimately, it's also OK if it's chasing the :narc: career world all over, knowing that you'll one day likely want to settle down, and it'll end up being with someone else.
I have nothing against doing stuff for myself. I feel like she feels like moving here hurt her own ambitions (factually not true but she will hold on to this).

I really on a personal level also don’t mind being single. I feel like if we were to break up I wouldn’t be looking for a committed relationship for a while (I’m talking about 5-10 years)

I want to reach a certain level professionally by the time I’m 30 and I don’t want to let anything get in the way of that. If she wants to be by my side during this and compromise on her personal ambitions she can do that. If she doesn’t, then I don’t want to be the one that makes her feel like she has to stay and feel trapped.

I literally am letting her make the best decision for herself and I will stand by what she wants. It’s too much of a brain drain to try and guess what she wants to do.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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:thisisfine:


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razr390 wrote:
Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:44 am You won’t get pulled over for speeding in the city unless you’re being completely reckless. They have bigger issues.
How much more reckless does it get than going the wrong way against traffic to overtake?

Not even by the :mahtroy: part of town either. This was on Pennsylvania Ave.
You can speed a bit. They won’t pull you over. They will pull over Laquisha for driving on wrong side of the road doe.


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Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:05 am Image

:thisisfine:


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:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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I crossed double yellow to pass a city bus that was loading a wheelchair yesterday. Come at me bro.
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I have 2 offices in this building and can’t use either one. :impressive:
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Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:09 am I crossed double yellow to pass a city bus that was loading a wheelchair yesterday. Come at me bro.
Philadelphia police are impounding your car as we speak. Don’t write checks you can’t cash breh.
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Johnny_P wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:10 am I have 2 offices in this building and can’t use either one. :impressive:
Time to WFH
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:04 am
D Griff wrote: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:55 am

Eventually, you have to give up this mindset or basically accept being single forever. When you decide to do that is up to you. You might want to do the move anywhere for your career thing for five more years, ten more years, whatever. But in any relationshit, a point comes where it's better for one person to move and one to stay, or someone has to give up a big career jump so the other can get what they want. It's challenging and inevitable unless you have two people totally lacking in motivation, happy to just be complacent forever.

I get that it is a drag as I kind of just made it to that crossroads with my job change. Single, I would've taken the higher pay from my current job along with the risk involved that it could go away eventually. I would've been willing to relocate if it did. But trying to be reasonable, I realized putting another person through that when I could make more money at a new (but boring) job in Charlotte, just didn't make any sense. I mean, we likely wouldn't have broken up if I'd done that, but the eventual crossroads was inevitable and it would've eventually :nuke: in some way.

So just take some time to really reflect on what YOU want, it's OK if it's being with your GF ultimately, it's also OK if it's chasing the :narc: career world all over, knowing that you'll one day likely want to settle down, and it'll end up being with someone else.
I have nothing against doing stuff for myself. I feel like she feels like moving here hurt her own ambitions (factually not true but she will hold on to this).

I really on a personal level also don’t mind being single. I feel like if we were to break up I wouldn’t be looking for a committed relationship for a while (I’m talking about 5-10 years)

I want to reach a certain level professionally by the time I’m 30 and I don’t want to let anything get in the way of that. If she wants to be by my side during this and compromise on her personal ambitions she can do that. If she doesn’t, then I don’t want to be the one that makes her feel like she has to stay and feel trapped.

I literally am letting her make the best decision for herself and I will stand by what she wants. It’s too much of a brain drain to try and guess what she wants to do.
Totally your decision... so feel free to ignore/tell me to fuck off.

But I'm reading this as it would probably be best if you ended it, for both of you. You're saying that you are willing to make zero compromise for her and want her to either make every compromise for you or leave. That is a very selfish place to be, and there is nothing wrong with that, but it indicates that you shouldn't be in the relationship, IMO. Again, I'm probably speaking out of turn here, but just an observation.
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