OT 20: rotisserie roller coaster

Off-topic? You mean on-topic!
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Apex wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 7:31 pm
D Griff wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 5:40 pm

:word:

Thanks for the advice. It's very real, I was after all recently passed over for a job/promotion I was promised at this company where I feel I have good rapport/early member of the division as mentioned. I guess we'll see how Wednesday's interview goes... it may turn out that the evil I know is the lesser of the two.
Just remember that the grass looks greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit.
Not to say don’t move, but caution is advised especially if it’s not a pay bump.
:dat:
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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max225 wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 5:03 pm
D Griff wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 2:00 pm

:notwrong:

I am kind of annoyed by the inflation and lifestyle bloat :doe: ... This perspective job is still like 2X the BB salary, lame that that may not be enough. I guess the thing is, I am pretty confident that I could do really well financially over the long haul at the current place. The division/biz unit I'm a part of was started when I started, I was hired as one of the initial members of the team. We went from a small team of five people to now 12 or so and $70 mill/year revenue. I am well respected and could likely come out on top over the years. The potential offer is a pretty large corp. where I could certainly move up but will always just be a cog, albeit I enjoy the products/work a bit more, at least for now.

Tough call, but I don't even have an offer yet, so no reason to stress.
I would caution against the mind set of “moving up” in a large Corp. In my personal experience it is far more difficult than in a smaller spot. You face a ton of competition internally and externally and corps usually give 0 fucks about employees. So while you may think that “omg I run this place because I did xyz” 10 others are willing and able to take that job tomorrow.

It’s a dog eat dog world out there. I say pick the highest pay/job satisfaction that you can get. And expect exactly 0 on top of that.
This is very true.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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D Griff wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:57 pm
razr390 wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:46 pm

If it all goes well and they want you, they’ll accommodate start date as well. Obviously being realistic but I don’t think 2-3weeks between offer of employment and start is unrealistic.
:dat: It tends to be fairly flexible but it also depends on how bad they need the slot filled of course.
Yea, but flexibility is usually like a few weeks, not a month. We'll see how it goes, I'm just hoping the hiring process takes a while so I have time to chill.

My brain is detoxing I think, just had a night full of nightmares of my old boss and company yelling at me and humiliating me. Got maybe 3 hours of sleep and I'm wide awake now.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 6:41 am
D Griff wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:57 pm

:dat: It tends to be fairly flexible but it also depends on how bad they need the slot filled of course.
Yea, but flexibility is usually like a few weeks, not a month. We'll see how it goes, I'm just hoping the hiring process takes a while so I have time to chill.

My brain is detoxing I think, just had a night full of nightmares of my old boss and company yelling at me and humiliating me. Got maybe 3 hours of sleep and I'm wide awake now.
At least these memories will be more and more distant as time goes on… oof.
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D Griff wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 7:24 am
Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 6:41 am
Yea, but flexibility is usually like a few weeks, not a month. We'll see how it goes, I'm just hoping the hiring process takes a while so I have time to chill.

My brain is detoxing I think, just had a night full of nightmares of my old boss and company yelling at me and humiliating me. Got maybe 3 hours of sleep and I'm wide awake now.
At least these memories will be more and more distant as time goes on… oof.
Yea. I was really expecting instant relief, but it looks like this shit is going to haunt me for a while. Fuck.

Balancing the feeling of escape with the feeling of being a failure is like nothing I've had to overcome before.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 7:54 am
D Griff wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 7:24 am

At least these memories will be more and more distant as time goes on… oof.
Yea. I was really expecting instant relief, but it looks like this shit is going to haunt me for a while. Fuck.

Balancing the feeling of escape with the feeling of being a failure is like nothing I've had to overcome before.
I feel you... big time. Today is the last day that my business is open.
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Work doesn't define us though Chris. We are many other things. Husbands, sons, friends, neighbors. How we handle these roles is much more of an indicator of who we really are....
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Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 7:54 am
D Griff wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 7:24 am

At least these memories will be more and more distant as time goes on… oof.
Yea. I was really expecting instant relief, but it looks like this shit is going to haunt me for a while. Fuck.

Balancing the feeling of escape with the feeling of being a failure is like nothing I've had to overcome before.
It won’t. This shit is way too fresh. Hell Friday was the last day and you cared about your co workers. Give it a few weeks and it’ll be a fairly distant memory. In a few months you’re going to look back and say :wtf: was wrong with me for caring that much about a job and company that gave 0fucks about me.
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D Griff wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:56 pm
SAWCE wrote: Fri Jul 30, 2021 1:45 pm

Yeah I don't order soda/tea when I'm out either. Water all day.

Once in a while I'll buy a can or bottle of soda to take home and have with a cheat meal, but in general I don't ever want to drink my calories.
Baja Blast Zero Sugar for the win. Zero calories, but many yummies.
Lort yes
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Irish wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 10:01 am Work doesn't define us though Chris. We are many other things. Husbands, sons, friends, neighbors. How we handle these roles is much more of an indicator of who we really are....
Yea, this is the right perspective to focus on. I also think that it says a lot when you can recognize when something just isn't right and moving on before badness consumes you.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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max225 wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 11:24 am
Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 7:54 am
Yea. I was really expecting instant relief, but it looks like this shit is going to haunt me for a while. Fuck.

Balancing the feeling of escape with the feeling of being a failure is like nothing I've had to overcome before.
It won’t. This shit is way too fresh. Hell Friday was the last day and you cared about your co workers. Give it a few weeks and it’ll be a fairly distant memory. In a few months you’re going to look back and say :wtf: was wrong with me for caring that much about a job and company that gave 0fucks about me.
It's hard as a high achieving individual to admit you can't do a job. Even if the job is garbage and abusive, I've never quit anything in my life. I usually just move on to the next thing, which I don't have right now, hence failure. The company gives zero fucks, I give zero fucks about the place, but it's my own ego that's battered because I couldn't hack it and bailed without a reason other than being a bitch.

It'll be a distant memory in a few months, agreed. But there's a lot of mental shit to work through before that happens it seems.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 12:45 pm
max225 wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 11:24 am

It won’t. This shit is way too fresh. Hell Friday was the last day and you cared about your co workers. Give it a few weeks and it’ll be a fairly distant memory. In a few months you’re going to look back and say :wtf: was wrong with me for caring that much about a job and company that gave 0fucks about me.
It's hard as a high achieving individual to admit you can't do a job. Even if the job is garbage and abusive, I've never quit anything in my life. I usually just move on to the next thing, which I don't have right now, hence failure. The company gives zero fucks, I give zero fucks about the place, but it's my own ego that's battered because I couldn't hack it and bailed without a reason other than being a bitch.

It'll be a distant memory in a few months, agreed. But there's a lot of mental shit to work through before that happens it seems.
You’ll pull through :mahman: . Its only going to get easier from here
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Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 12:45 pm
max225 wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 11:24 am

It won’t. This shit is way too fresh. Hell Friday was the last day and you cared about your co workers. Give it a few weeks and it’ll be a fairly distant memory. In a few months you’re going to look back and say :wtf: was wrong with me for caring that much about a job and company that gave 0fucks about me.
It's hard as a high achieving individual to admit you can't do a job. Even if the job is garbage and abusive, I've never quit anything in my life. I usually just move on to the next thing, which I don't have right now, hence failure. The company gives zero fucks, I give zero fucks about the place, but it's my own ego that's battered because I couldn't hack it and bailed without a reason other than being a bitch.

It'll be a distant memory in a few months, agreed. But there's a lot of mental shit to work through before that happens it seems.
i would argue that it’s more admirable that you got yourself in a financial situation that basically allows you to walk out of a situation if your mental health and morals get challenged. That’s a baller move. Don’t let the stigma affect you. Your ego is battered because you’re viewing your move through society rat race lenses.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 1:27 pm
Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 12:45 pm
It's hard as a high achieving individual to admit you can't do a job. Even if the job is garbage and abusive, I've never quit anything in my life. I usually just move on to the next thing, which I don't have right now, hence failure. The company gives zero fucks, I give zero fucks about the place, but it's my own ego that's battered because I couldn't hack it and bailed without a reason other than being a bitch.

It'll be a distant memory in a few months, agreed. But there's a lot of mental shit to work through before that happens it seems.
i would argue that it’s more admirable that you got yourself in a financial situation that basically allows you to walk out of a situation if your mental health and morals get challenged. That’s a baller move. Don’t let the stigma affect you. Your ego is battered because you’re viewing your move through society rat race lenses.
Most financial people recommend having 3-6mos of expenses saved up just for situations like this. Is that :bs: ?

Even if not, it's not so much baller as it is planned. I bought the Cucktrek when I could have bought a Porsche because I wanted the ability to do this. No debt is a priority because it lowers overhead making moves like this hardly baller. It's really just being a cheapass to buy freedom. I guess that's not normal?

Still feel like a quitting failure, but that will fade with more successful interviews and job offers (hopefully).
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 5:15 pm
razr390 wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 1:27 pm i would argue that it’s more admirable that you got yourself in a financial situation that basically allows you to walk out of a situation if your mental health and morals get challenged. That’s a baller move. Don’t let the stigma affect you. Your ego is battered because you’re viewing your move through society rat race lenses.
Most financial people recommend having 3-6mos of expenses saved up just for situations like this. Is that :bs: ?

Even if not, it's not so much baller as it is planned. I bought the Cucktrek when I could have bought a Porsche because I wanted the ability to do this. No debt is a priority because it lowers overhead making moves like this hardly baller. It's really just being a cheapass to buy freedom. I guess that's not normal?

Still feel like a quitting failure, but that will fade with more successful interviews and job offers (hopefully).
Having your autonomy and freedom to make this choice because of moves you’ve made is quite the opposite of being a failure is what I’m trying to get at.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 12:45 pm
max225 wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 11:24 am

It won’t. This shit is way too fresh. Hell Friday was the last day and you cared about your co workers. Give it a few weeks and it’ll be a fairly distant memory. In a few months you’re going to look back and say :wtf: was wrong with me for caring that much about a job and company that gave 0fucks about me.
It's hard as a high achieving individual to admit you can't do a job. Even if the job is garbage and abusive, I've never quit anything in my life. I usually just move on to the next thing, which I don't have right now, hence failure. The company gives zero fucks, I give zero fucks about the place, but it's my own ego that's battered because I couldn't hack it and bailed without a reason other than being a bitch.

It'll be a distant memory in a few months, agreed. But there's a lot of mental shit to work through before that happens it seems.
I just can’t see how this makes you a failure at all. You successfully planned your life to make things work. You got out of a toxic environment that was bad for you and your family. You’re a smart dude and you’ll land somewhere better.

Sorry you’re feeling bummed out, but Irish is right, you’re a good husband, friend, dude and more than whatever cog you were at Stellancuck. I hope you can enjoy focusing on other outlets like boat porn, Pinshit, cycling, or whatever makes you happy. The career thing will work out.

@Irish same thing for you. Sorry about the biz but you’re an awesome dude and dad, shit will work out. Silver lining is we’re glad you’re back here on DFD.
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D Griff wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 9:18 pm
Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 12:45 pm
It's hard as a high achieving individual to admit you can't do a job. Even if the job is garbage and abusive, I've never quit anything in my life. I usually just move on to the next thing, which I don't have right now, hence failure. The company gives zero fucks, I give zero fucks about the place, but it's my own ego that's battered because I couldn't hack it and bailed without a reason other than being a bitch.

It'll be a distant memory in a few months, agreed. But there's a lot of mental shit to work through before that happens it seems.
I just can’t see how this makes you a failure at all. You successfully planned your life to make things work. You got out of a toxic environment that was bad for you and your family. You’re a smart dude and you’ll land somewhere better.

Sorry you’re feeling bummed out, but Irish is right, you’re a good husband, friend, dude and more than whatever cog you were at Stellancuck. I hope you can enjoy focusing on other outlets like boat porn, Pinshit, cycling, or whatever makes you happy. The career thing will work out.

@Irish same thing for you. Sorry about the biz but you’re an awesome dude and dad, shit will work out. Silver lining is we’re glad you’re back here on DFD.
:wub: Thanks Dan
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I love you guys
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Also my entire household has some sort of stomach bug. Fun.
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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D Griff wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 9:18 pm
Detroit wrote: Sat Jul 31, 2021 12:45 pm
It's hard as a high achieving individual to admit you can't do a job. Even if the job is garbage and abusive, I've never quit anything in my life. I usually just move on to the next thing, which I don't have right now, hence failure. The company gives zero fucks, I give zero fucks about the place, but it's my own ego that's battered because I couldn't hack it and bailed without a reason other than being a bitch.

It'll be a distant memory in a few months, agreed. But there's a lot of mental shit to work through before that happens it seems.
I just can’t see how this makes you a failure at all. You successfully planned your life to make things work. You got out of a toxic environment that was bad for you and your family. You’re a smart dude and you’ll land somewhere better.

Sorry you’re feeling bummed out, but Irish is right, you’re a good husband, friend, dude and more than whatever cog you were at Stellancuck. I hope you can enjoy focusing on other outlets like boat porn, Pinshit, cycling, or whatever makes you happy. The career thing will work out.

@Irish same thing for you. Sorry about the biz but you’re an awesome dude and dad, shit will work out. Silver lining is we’re glad you’re back here on DFD.
:dat: for sure.

ALSO,

Dear DetroitPlac,

:bruh: You are so far from a failure I can't even. I don't think I ever told you guys this story, and I'll just tell the basics here, but WAAAY back in the late 80's I was in a toxic, old-school industry job. You think automotive is an old dinosaur of an industry, try railroading. It's almost 100 years OLDER of an industry than automotive! And the corporate mind set reflected that. I was young, smart, non-conventional in my thinking, and felt underappreciated and not respected. I was a market manager, responsible for the movement of specific commodities within our 9,000 mile track system. I handled over 25.000 carloads and $9 million in annual business, and I was vastly underpaid compared to my peers, because I was only in my 20's. When I mentioned this in a review, they responded by raising my grade level, but not my pay, so I was now being paid way under the minimum for my grade level. :ayfkm: Anyway, for reasons not important here, the company wanted to reduce payroll so they offered buyouts with the hope of putting older, higher paid employees out to pasture to replace them with younger, cheaper ones, ie, people like ME. To everyone's surprise, I put in for the buyout, which was 6n month's salary in a lump sum. I wasn't making much then, about $32k, but I leapt at it. It took them a few days to ok it but they finally did and I NEVER looked back. And unlike you I didn't have any job prospects lined up. In fact, I quit at the very beginning of what would turn out to be a recession. :derp: I spent the next several months remodeling our attic and looking at job ads in the local newspapers, which was about the only way to find a job back then, besides networking, which I also did. I got a couple of offers in the same industry but turned them down because I wanted to escape. Eventually, I landed a job with the company I'm still with to this day.

The point I'm trying (poorly) to make is, you shouldn't have any ragerts or second thoughts or think any less of yourself for the decision you grabbed by the :balls: and made for all the right reasons. I knew at the time that I made the right decision and I was in a much lesser position than you are now. Like yours, it was not the decision of a failure. You did the right thing and are a winner for doing so.

One bit of :wrong: advice I'd give, that helped me mentally, is stay busy. I made it a point to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning to start work on the attic. It kept my mind in the game, so to speak. I know you have plenty of :pinshit: lined up so you should be good there.

TL;DNR I kinda did what you did a few hundred years ago, for similar reasons, and it worked out great for me, and you're no more a failure now than I was then.

FWIW

:wub: ,
:wap:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Appreciate the perspective guys. :wub:

Nightmares won't stop, another 3 hours of sleep.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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https://fherehab.com/learning/nightmare ... r%20levels.

Oh, cool. Nightmares are likely from cutting out cannabis. I just have to deal with it for the next 6-8 weeks. Awesome.

Drugs in moderation only, kids. Maybe not at all.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Detroit wrote: Sun Aug 01, 2021 8:41 am https://fherehab.com/learning/nightmare ... r%20levels.

Oh, cool. Nightmares are likely from cutting out cannabis. I just have to deal with it for the next 6-8 weeks. Awesome.

Drugs in moderation only, kids. Maybe not at all.
Yea dude… I have been bitching about devils lettuce for a long time. I have had similar withdrawals.
I did it to “sleep better” and got addicted, in a way. Did it before sleep and sure you have full 8 hrs and 0 dreams. Like literally none… it was beautiful… but the downside was I was tired and lazy the next day and just looked forward to the next high and then rinse and repeat.

Once I stopped my sleep was super fucked up. I would wake up at 1 and not be able to sleep till 4/5 then go into a super deep sleep at 5-6 or 5-7 and get all kinds of insane fucked up dreams.

It literally made me “relapse” into it again because that’s how I could bring back the full 8 hrs without the lovely dreams.

Then after a few cycles of that shit i stopped. It sucked for a few weeks, now 6 months later my normal sleep is back. I am not touching that shit anymore. It’s a shit ass drug
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max225 wrote: Sun Aug 01, 2021 9:34 am
Detroit wrote: Sun Aug 01, 2021 8:41 am https://fherehab.com/learning/nightmare ... r%20levels.

Oh, cool. Nightmares are likely from cutting out cannabis. I just have to deal with it for the next 6-8 weeks. Awesome.

Drugs in moderation only, kids. Maybe not at all.
Yea dude… I have been bitching about devils lettuce for a long time. I have had similar withdrawals.
I did it to “sleep better” and got addicted, in a way. Did it before sleep and sure you have full 8 hrs and 0 dreams. Like literally none… it was beautiful… but the downside was I was tired and lazy the next day and just looked forward to the next high and then rinse and repeat.

Once I stopped my sleep was super fucked up. I would wake up at 1 and not be able to sleep till 4/5 then go into a super deep sleep at 5-6 or 5-7 and get all kinds of insane fucked up dreams.

It literally made me “relapse” into it again because that’s how I could bring back the full 8 hrs without the lovely dreams.

Then after a few cycles of that shit i stopped. It sucked for a few weeks, now 6 months later my normal sleep is back. I am not touching that shit anymore. It’s a shit ass drug
I used it as an escape, which is obviously bad. Daily use at 5pm, spent the rest of the day in a haze to forget work. Then it became a habit. I always slept great and felt fine the next day, didn't even really deal much with motivation issues, though see in hindsight that it was a actually an issue, though minor.

There are legit benefits including sleep, digestive, and PTSD treatments, but that's all it should be considered for. Recreational use is a slippery slope. I didn't realize it until now.

Other than being exhausted, I feel a lot better overall. I could see wanting to hit the pipe right before bed so I could get a fucking night's sleep, but that's the "relapse" you're talking about. Not doing that, I'm fortunate that I don't have a job to wake up for. The last 3 mornings, I've been going for a hike when I'm wide awake after a fucked up dream at 6am.

I've also cut booze down to a finger of scotch at most at night, and overall I'm feeling great. First time I've been this clean in as long as I can remember. Weird how we can get into these habits that get progressively worse and you don't realize it until you stop.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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