OT 19: Masks On, Clothes Off, Right Hand Left Titty

[4zilch]

But finding a degree of happiness within yourself makes the biggest difference.

That's step 0 IMO. Without that, nothing will be fixed.

[Apex]

Happiness is an illusion.

Just like the spoon, it doesn’t exist.

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Happiness is an illusion.

Just like the spoon, it doesn’t exist.

It's absolutely an illusion, a mindset, really. But if it doesn't exist, the same principle applies to misery.



Life sure is FAR from easy, but being in the right mindset can make it easier to manage.

[Apex]

Happiness is an illusion.

Just like the spoon, it doesn’t exist.

It's absolutely an illusion, a mindset, really. But if it doesn't exist, the same principle applies to misery.



Life sure is FAR from easy, but being in the right mindset can make it easier to manage.

What if misery is the base human state, and we attempt to fool ourselves into being productive meat popsicles to better quantify our miserable existences on this rock?

[ChrisoftheNorth]

It's absolutely an illusion, a mindset, really. But if it doesn't exist, the same principle applies to misery.



Life sure is FAR from easy, but being in the right mindset can make it easier to manage.

What if misery is the base human state, and we attempt to fool ourselves into being productive meat popsicles to better quantify our miserable existences on this rock?

Absolutely it is.

It's why I keep mentioning that life isn't a race and to not compare others. We're all conditioned that working hard, getting promoted, making more money to buy more stuff or live in a fancier areas, or whatever "rat race" is the way to happiness. While it is for many, it's not for all. And those that are truly happy are happy with themselves in their current state, regardless of status/possessions.

Finding happiness in a situation where everything seems miserable is the largest challenge we as humans face. Most just ignore it and work harder to buy things to compensate then measure their accumulation against others to feel better about their "achievements". It's a never ending treadmill that's constantly increasing speed, eventually your legs can't keep up and you fly off. Get off before that happens.

I'm not going to that "money doesn't buy happiness". It absolutely does, but not to buy stuff, to buy stability to maintain an existing state of happiness/contentment.

This year has made me re-evaluate everything. I'm closer to a hippie now than anything else, so you can tell me to fuck right off and that's cool. But I encourage everyone take a moment for introspection to at least to find what makes you happy without stuff/property/things. It's an interesting challenge.

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Absolutely it is.

It's why I keep mentioning that life isn't a race and to not compare others. We're all conditioned that working hard, getting promoted, making more money to buy more stuff or live in a fancier areas, or whatever "rat race" is the way to happiness. While it is for many, it's not for all. And those that are truly happy are happy with themselves in their current state, regardless of status/possessions.

Finding happiness in a situation where everything seems miserable is the largest challenge we as humans face. Most just ignore it and work harder to buy things to compensate then measure their accumulation against others to feel better about their "achievements". It's a never ending treadmill that's constantly increasing speed, eventually your legs can't keep up and you fly off. Get off before that happens.

I'm not going to that "money doesn't buy happiness". It absolutely does, but not to buy stuff, to buy stability to maintain an existing state of happiness/contentment.

This year has made me re-evaluate everything. I'm closer to a hippie now than anything else, so you can tell me to fuck right off and that's cool. But I encourage everyone take a moment for introspection to at least to find what makes you happy without stuff/property/things. It's an interesting challenge.

Yep. I'm not about that rat race either anymore.

Scheming ways to run a side business photographing things that go on BAT/Carsandbids/Radforsale, plus do the Momentum Worx stuff. I'm all about separating the from their wallets.

I want to be in charge of my schedule and do the things I want to do and keep my stress low. That's happiness for me.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! Find what you value at your core to make you happy. I'm similar, minimal stress and easy schedule. I'm willing to sacrifice material possessions to get there.

And dude...you need to figure out a way to utilize your incredible talents to separate from their wallets. Glad you're thinking about that more. Your (especially automotive) photography chops are second to none...you should be able to make a name as a one-stop-shop for collector car vehicle photography for listings. Great side gig that you'd probably enjoy thoroughly.

That's what I'm working to identify now for myself.

[razr390]

Most truly wealthy people have their own business and have usually eaten shit for a few years and then hit it big.

Doing the rat race ladder climb only gets you so far. And in doing so you don’t always do it on your terms.

I wish I had some ideas for some small businesses that I could start, but I’m overthinking it at the moment and that means nothing will come of it.

Some days I told myself I wouldn’t mind going back to Florida and joining their Highway Patrol, making decent money and getting the time to learn/study/etc while getting paid to drive. I’d like to be the FHP guy that goes to events, schools, says hi to people at travel stops, etc.

[Apex]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

[Johnny_P]

OneNote
The only good thing Microsoft has created since Windows 95 was released.

[Johnny_P]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

Your happiness is out there man.

AND it's important to remember the difference between perceived happiness on the internet and ACTUAL REAL happiness IRL. Some of the most miserable people I've known are "slaying life" in most objective measures.

I could pick apart my life choices and make myself miserable if I chose to. I HATE my job/company, my income will be dwindling, my net worth pales in comparison to many, I drive a poverty truck, my wife is depressed with increasing frequency, my house needs a ridiculous amount of work, etc, etc, etc. Those are just elements of life that need to be accepted/improved/ignored, you'll never eliminate all of them. It's how you deal with them that matters, and if you're happy at your core, you will.

[Apex]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

Your happiness is out there man.

Doubtful. Only thing I can do is try to make sure my daughter looks her best on the stripper pole. Because I have nothing else to offer.

[Apex]

Your happiness is out there man.

AND it's important to remember the difference between perceived happiness on the internet and ACTUAL REAL happiness IRL. Some of the most miserable people I've known are "slaying life" in most objective measures.

I could pick apart my life choices and make myself miserable if I chose to. I HATE my job/company, my income will be dwindling, my net worth pales in comparison to many, I drive a poverty truck, my wife is depressed with increasing frequency, my house needs a ridiculous amount of work, etc, etc, etc. Those are just elements of life that need to be accepted/improved/ignored, you'll never eliminate all of them. It's how you deal with them that matters, and if you're happy at your core, you will.

You still make more than the majority of the country, you own a home which most will never get to claim, you are far wealthier than the common man, you chose poverty truck life to enable boat life and other activities, you enjoy working with your hands so fixing up your bunker isn’t the end of the world, etc.

[troyguitar]

A brand new behemoth pickup truck isn't exactly poverty. That thing costs about as much as most people make in a year.

[wap]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

And you get to go home every day to an adorable and (including a Ridgie!) and a woman and a

Sounds pretty to me, and more than a LOT of 'Muricans can say. It could most certainly be worse.

Perspective,

[razr390]

AND it's important to remember the difference between perceived happiness on the internet and ACTUAL REAL happiness IRL. Some of the most miserable people I've known are "slaying life" in most objective measures.

I could pick apart my life choices and make myself miserable if I chose to. I HATE my job/company, my income will be dwindling, my net worth pales in comparison to many, I drive a poverty truck, my wife is depressed with increasing frequency, my house needs a ridiculous amount of work, etc, etc, etc. Those are just elements of life that need to be accepted/improved/ignored, you'll never eliminate all of them. It's how you deal with them that matters, and if you're happy at your core, you will.

You still make more than the majority of the country, you own a home which most will never get to claim, you are far wealthier than the common man, you chose poverty truck life to enable boat life and other activities, you enjoy working with your hands so fixing up your bunker isn’t the end of the world, etc.

But you are comparing yourself to Chris. He’s trying to say that you have specific experiences, skill sets, talents, hobbies that he doesn’t. Finding happiness in those and yourself will help you deal with the shit you aren’t.

To add to this post, we still don’t know if we want to buy a house or even can afford it at this point in time. We are pretty much single income with whatever UI gets going to savings.

is depressed and it’s linked to PPD. She has anxiety and loves the but is also a huge stress point. I juggle work, home, and other stuff more than she does and it’s still weighing her down.

We will make it though. We are considering starting the little one on part-time daycare so she gets to have 2 free days a week. After UI ends, we might do full time so baby can socialize and she can get a job and just work on feeling part of society again.

Everyone’s story and circumstances are different. It’s how you attack it that matters.

[D Griff]

Jobs available there look to be 30-60% pay cuts so local work is really a last resort. Dunno how people are paying $500k+ for houses on $50k salaries, even as DINKs...

Same exact thing where we live. Local jobs pay terribad, yet basic houses are nearly $500k if you don't want to live in a trailer park setting. It's gone nuts, which I'm shocked to see happening in the middle of nowhere northern MI.

The real estate market in more desirable places is running away from local realities, it's wild. There must be THAT much remote work to keep the markets up. Or offices will go back to normal and it will all come crashing down. Which is why we bought WAY below our means so we can make all our living expenses by working retail if it comes down to that. In the short/medium term I plan to find a permanent remote job (very possibly my current one) but ultimately, I'd like to do my own thing, just not sure what that is yet.

I think it's 50/50... it will come crashing down on some people. You, for example, took a pretty big risk, but you took steps to make sure that if the worst happens, you're still covered. Others likely took similar risk but bought homes at stretch pay levels because they "had to" with the crazy prices and stuff. Others spent way too much on toys that will sit and drop off in value once things go back to normal. I can't imagine industry/jobs in Northern MI will be able to keep up with average homes costing $500K though. Either the rich people who bought (second) homes there will move back out at a big loss or the poor locals will be forced to go live in Detroit when the prices there . Northern MI is just one example, I think there are pockets like this everywhere in the US now.

It is a really interesting time. My wife and I really enjoy travel and have missed it a lot during COVID... we are looking at more flights/hotels/destinations now that we're vaccinated and prices are already skyrocketing/availability is very low. I think this indicates things are moving back toward pre-COVID as far as people's interest in going out, travel, etc. and it will be crazy to see how this all pans out. People who on vacation homes may now get bored and want to do other stuff.

I legitimately have no clue what will happen over the next year or two.

[D Griff]

Most truly wealthy people have their own business and have usually eaten shit for a few years and then hit it big.

Doing the rat race ladder climb only gets you so far. And in doing so you don’t always do it on your terms.

I wish I had some ideas for some small businesses that I could start, but I’m overthinking it at the moment and that means nothing will come of it.

Some days I told myself I wouldn’t mind going back to Florida and joining their Highway Patrol, making decent money and getting the time to learn/study/etc while getting paid to drive. I’d like to be the FHP guy that goes to events, schools, says hi to people at travel stops, etc.

I've been around rich people for most of my life and they're no different than anyone else. Some are happy, some aren't. Some got really lucky and came into the money, most are busting their asses for it and stressed every day.

I have a pretty chill job that pays me enough to live pretty well by my own standards. I want for nothing, really. I could want for a lot. My house is tiny, my car is a POS, etc. but I have no real interest in making more money because it would just come with a much higher stress job with less time to do what I want. Time is more valuable to me than anything else.

Rudy, you are indeed juggling a lot and stay very positive which I admire. Sure, not all of us will end up rich or with garagemahals or Evora 400s or whatever the hell we aspire to, but at the end of the day, I think life on this planet is pretty cool and I hope and wish that feeling for everyone, especially my fellow DFD comrades. It definitely can be hard and it is absolutely harder for some than it is for others. Wish that everyone got a fair shake, but some people just don't.

[D Griff]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

[Apex]

My bad, everything is 100% perfect. I’ll leave y’all alone now. Good day sirs.

[wap]

My bad, everything is 100% perfect. I’ll leave y’all alone now. Good day sirs.

Oh dood. No one is saying that. I, and I think others here, just wanted to highlight the many decent things in your life. Forest for the trees and all. You're one of the -est peeps on this site and it is better when you're contributing. Hope you don't vanish again.

[4zilch]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

FWIW, we only post the good shit..

Seriously though, it's not always sunshine and rainbows. I'm very much a person that lives moment to moment, but its not to say that thoughts from things from the past, or concerns about the future don't overwhelm me from time to time. In terms of work, I don't particularly like my company or some of their current direction, but I'm good at what I do, and I feel at least somewhat valued so it's enough for me. Work is simply a means that provides stability. I'm not a ladder climber, nor do I really aspire to have my own fulltime business. And I was happy before moving and before Jill, and quite frankly, I'd still be pretty happy if it were all gone tomorrow.

I know this is all quite easy for me to sit back and say "just be happy" but I have been on a journey similar to yours in my younger days, so if I were to give any piece of advice it's to surround yourself with people who are willing to listen - sometimes commiserating, and sometimes providing a welcome distraction from the everyday suck - even if it's a bunch of fucks like us on the internet. My other piece of advice would be to consider doing some reading on mindfulness and Buddhist practices you might (or might not) find it helpful to get you into a different state of mind. Lastly understand that it's OK to feel the way that you feel, but we're hear to listen, or distract, or help, etc.

[Johnny_P]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

FWIW, we only post the good shit..

I haven't been posting much, because I found I was only complaining.

Plenty not going well right now in my life. $80k pay cut from last year, about to go on 16 hr nights due to union strike imminent, can't sleep past 6 AM because baby, I only get to ride my bike once a month, only vehicle is a 98k mile Fraud that is falling apart, house is a pos that is always a mess and falling apart, dog is randomly breaking out in hives and shitting blood monthly, cat destroys everything made of silicone so all baby gear, etc.

But been trying to look for good things. Got some new bike tires I'm happy about, I get to WFH so I've experienced all my son's developmental firsts, and since we figured out little dude's milk allergy issues he's been a lot more fun to hang out with. $10k back on taxes helps ease the pain of not being employed for 6 months.

[D Griff]

My bad, everything is 100% perfect. I’ll leave y’all alone now. Good day sirs.

Definitely not the case, man. Sorry you're having a rough go of it. We're trying to help, although we may be doing a shit job.

[D Griff]

Y’all get to have your happiness and live your best lives. That’s absolutely phenomenal for you guys, super stoked that you get to enjoy it.

Dplac is bunker in the woods motor boating titties all day, [user not found] get to ride thousands and thousands of miles a year with his friends on bikes. Max is crushing life out in Cali, Troy gets to be Florida man and enjoy 80+ degrees year round. Wap is just itching for travel to open back up so he can hike across Europe again, iTrudy slaying that CorpSec life moving up the ladder looking to buy/build a fresh place in TX. JohnnyP chilling with the kid and they seem to be getting along much better these days. Zilch gets to rip ToTD and surrounding areas on dat fresh KTM on his lunch breaks while his lovely bride has epic IG food pron going on. Irish built a dope AF basement while sponge bathing our waps. We don’t even need to talk about Breh and the Mexican condo oasis.

FWIW, we only post the good shit..

Seriously though, it's not always sunshine and rainbows. I'm very much a person that lives moment to moment, but its not to say that thoughts from things from the past, or concerns about the future don't overwhelm me from time to time. In terms of work, I don't particularly like my company or some of their current direction, but I'm good at what I do, and I feel at least somewhat valued so it's enough for me. Work is simply a means that provides stability. I'm not a ladder climber, nor do I really aspire to have my own fulltime business. And I was happy before moving and before Jill, and quite frankly, I'd still be pretty happy if it were all gone tomorrow.

I know this is all quite easy for me to sit back and say "just be happy" but I have been on a journey similar to yours in my younger days, so if I were to give any piece of advice it's to surround yourself with people who are willing to listen - sometimes commiserating, and sometimes providing a welcome distraction from the everyday suck - even if it's a bunch of fucks like us on the internet. My other piece of advice would be to consider doing some reading on mindfulness and Buddhist practices you might (or might not) find it helpful to get you into a different state of mind. Lastly understand that it's OK to feel the way that you feel, but we're hear to listen, or distract, or help, etc.

great thoughts and points.