What is Life

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Tarspin wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 10:00 am
Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 9:45 am
Part of the reason that I shared the onset of my ordeal was in hopes of just such a result. Namely, that it might help others to take stock. This kind of act is a yuge part of my recovery from alcoholism and I try to practice it in all my affairs.

SO thank you so much for sharing that it had/has an impact on you.

This previously defunct thread is as good a place as any for me to keep you guys updated (plus I like the title).

Test results were bad and good. Biopsy was positive for cancer. BUT, chest xray and MRI were negative for any spread. I have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow who will likely order a CT scan to see if is in my jaw at all. That's the next hurdle.

Certainly not out of the woods, but overall, the news I just got is great.
Yaas!! Get that little sucker cut out and move on! The clear lungs is a huge blessing,this could be the wake up call that saves you from much worse news many years from now. Good luck Irish!

And congrats on the crotchfruit graduating, mine are 7 and 4, a long way from being independent but I look forward to the milestones.
:dat:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 10:08 am
Tarspin wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 6:52 am

Morning Irish, this got me worried too. I've started to change my lifestyle after reading about your ordeal. Ive been casually smoking cigz which turned back into a habit, then got replaced with vape, and now fully off of all puffing... food as well, I'm off of sugars, breads, and other garbage.

All of the above items took a toll on me in one way or another, the sugars/wheat were impacting my skin's health and kept me bloated, vape was burning and bubbling my inner cheeks and the roof of my mouth (almost blister like) and felt like I had heavy lungs, and the cigarettes were well, you know... all of the above symptoms are improved/eliminated. I still wig out but the low carb diet keeps me from insulin spikes and tension stays lower. I'm not sure if this will last forever but I cant see why not short of a life changing shock.

Hope the news is good tomorrow, start celebrating your ability to conquer these substances as you have others before. You'll start to feel healthier within two weeks dude! I'm sending well wishes and hoping for great news!
:bravo: for your lifestyle changes! Hope it's a lifelong habit improvement.
I hope so too. Smoking is a real bastard because even after a decade it easily sneaks back into one's life, at least in my past experience. Hopefully now that I can see that I'm not invincible I'll be able to steer clear of it at all times.

"Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it dozens of times".
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Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 10:31 am
Apex wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 9:49 am

:notbad: Irish!
Thanks man!
Tarspin wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 10:00 am

Yaas!! Get that little sucker cut out and move on! The clear lungs is a huge blessing,this could be the wake up call that saves you from much worse news many years from now. Good luck Irish!

And congrats on the crotchfruit graduating, mine are 7 and 4, a long way from being independent but I look forward to the milestones.
:Yesth: , I hope to have years left where I look back at this as a turning point.

Thanks for the congrats...... Its cliche but enjoy them while they are young......time flies man..... it seems like last week I was holding them in my arms :baby:
I will miss that.
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wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 10:47 am
Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 9:45 am
Part of the reason that I shared the onset of my ordeal was in hopes of just such a result. Namely, that it might help others to take stock. This kind of act is a yuge part of my recovery from alcoholism and I try to practice it in all my affairs.

SO thank you so much for sharing that it had/has an impact on you.

This previously defunct thread is as good a place as any for me to keep you guys updated (plus I like the title).

Test results were bad and good. Biopsy was positive for cancer. BUT, chest xray and MRI were negative for any spread. I have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow who will likely order a CT scan to see if is in my jaw at all. That's the next hurdle.

Certainly not out of the woods, but overall, the news I just got is great.
All right! It is :notbad: news at all. Being localized is the best outcome for a positive test of cancer. You're halfway to beating it already! :like:
:dat: :wub:
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wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 10:47 am
Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 9:45 am
Part of the reason that I shared the onset of my ordeal was in hopes of just such a result. Namely, that it might help others to take stock. This kind of act is a yuge part of my recovery from alcoholism and I try to practice it in all my affairs.

SO thank you so much for sharing that it had/has an impact on you.

This previously defunct thread is as good a place as any for me to keep you guys updated (plus I like the title).

Test results were bad and good. Biopsy was positive for cancer. BUT, chest xray and MRI were negative for any spread. I have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow who will likely order a CT scan to see if is in my jaw at all. That's the next hurdle.

Certainly not out of the woods, but overall, the news I just got is great.
All right! It is :notbad: news at all. Being localized is the best outcome for a positive test of cancer. You're halfway to beating it already! :like:
Thanks Wap! Yes, todays news was better than I had hoped. Now I just have to pray its not in my jaw.
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Tarspin wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 11:15 am
wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 10:08 am
:bravo: for your lifestyle changes! Hope it's a lifelong habit improvement.
I hope so too. Smoking is a real bastard because even after a decade it easily sneaks back into one's life, at least in my past experience. Hopefully now that I can see that I'm not invincible I'll be able to steer clear of it at all times.

"Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it dozens of times".
Yes, once an addict, always an addict.

Signed,

A Student of Addiction
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Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 11:35 am
Tarspin wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 11:15 am

I hope so too. Smoking is a real bastard because even after a decade it easily sneaks back into one's life, at least in my past experience. Hopefully now that I can see that I'm not invincible I'll be able to steer clear of it at all times.

"Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it dozens of times".
Yes, once an addict, always an addict.

Signed,

A Student of Addiction
That makes two of us. :thisisfine:
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How have I not found this thread yet, it's right up my alley.

I'll be honest since the death of my mother, I find myself being pre-occupied with the thought of death. Not so much a morbid thought, but more of the acceptance that one day my consciousness will fade into the nothingness that it was before, and how I should cherish the time that I am allotted on this planet.

Having already been through addiction, and the downs associated with that.
Losing my house to a flood, both parents passing etc. I feel like life has already tossed some of it's worst my way, and I've weathered it all fairly well.

So, I do try to cherish everyday, do items that are on my bucket list while I'm still able to. To live a life of 'no regrets' when I take a look back, and so far, so good.
Also, be nice to each other, we're all we got, there's not need to be a dick.

Also, yeah, I'm glad I quit smoking.
I still have one from time to time, and it's easy to get hooked again, but it's my one vice.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 9:45 am
Part of the reason that I shared the onset of my ordeal was in hopes of just such a result. Namely, that it might help others to take stock. This kind of act is a yuge part of my recovery from alcoholism and I try to practice it in all my affairs.
Another friend of Bill W. ?
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:07 pm
Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 9:45 am
Part of the reason that I shared the onset of my ordeal was in hopes of just such a result. Namely, that it might help others to take stock. This kind of act is a yuge part of my recovery from alcoholism and I try to practice it in all my affairs.
Another friend of Bill W. ?
A close, close friend..... his work and that of the rest of the first 100 saved my life 14 years ago and continues to allow me a life worth living..... You?
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Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:13 pm
Melon wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:07 pm

Another friend of Bill W. ?
A close, close friend..... his work and that of the rest of the first 100 saved my life 14 years ago and continues to allow me a life worth living..... You?
8 years as of Jan 8th

I'm not as active as I once was, but live the principles.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:14 pm
Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:13 pm

A close, close friend..... his work and that of the rest of the first 100 saved my life 14 years ago and continues to allow me a life worth living..... You?
8 years as of Jan 8th

I'm not as active as I once was, but live the principles.
Fucking awesome! Much the same for me.....I was super active my first 5 years......daily meetings, sponsoring 3 guys at a time, GSR, etc. Now its more like 1-2 meetings a week, home group treasurer, and principles, man. The principles are the program. Everything else is a means to easily practice them. The real test is what we do with them in the real world.
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Yeah, truthfully I haven't been to a meeting in years.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:13 pm
Melon wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:07 pm

Another friend of Bill W. ?
A close, close friend..... his work and that of the rest of the first 100 saved my life 14 years ago and continues to allow me a life worth living..... You?
Also, congrats man, that's awesome.
Really happy for you.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 2:22 pm
Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:13 pm

A close, close friend..... his work and that of the rest of the first 100 saved my life 14 years ago and continues to allow me a life worth living..... You?
Also, congrats man, that's awesome.
Really happy for you.
:wub:
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Melon wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:02 pm How have I not found this thread yet, it's right up my alley.

I'll be honest since the death of my mother, I find myself being pre-occupied with the thought of death. Not so much a morbid thought, but more of the acceptance that one day my consciousness will fade into the nothingness that it was before, and how I should cherish the time that I am allotted on this planet.

Having already been through addiction, and the downs associated with that.
Losing my house to a flood, both parents passing etc. I feel like life has already tossed some of it's worst my way, and I've weathered it all fairly well.

So, I do try to cherish everyday, do items that are on my bucket list while I'm still able to. To live a life of 'no regrets' when I take a look back, and so far, so good.
Also, be nice to each other, we're all we got, there's not need to be a dick.

Also, yeah, I'm glad I quit smoking.
I still have one from time to time, and it's easy to get hooked again, but it's my one vice.
I found a lump in my arm that turned out to be nothing but it really got me thinking. Id thought about death and whatnot before but only in terms of philosophical exercise.

Thinking about it in concrete ways really has had an impact. The thought of leaving my kids behind and not seeing them grow up and have families themselves makes me want to vomit. I like to think I have more patience with them today than a year ago.
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KYGTIGuy wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:25 pm
Melon wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 12:02 pm How have I not found this thread yet, it's right up my alley.

I'll be honest since the death of my mother, I find myself being pre-occupied with the thought of death. Not so much a morbid thought, but more of the acceptance that one day my consciousness will fade into the nothingness that it was before, and how I should cherish the time that I am allotted on this planet.

Having already been through addiction, and the downs associated with that.
Losing my house to a flood, both parents passing etc. I feel like life has already tossed some of it's worst my way, and I've weathered it all fairly well.

So, I do try to cherish everyday, do items that are on my bucket list while I'm still able to. To live a life of 'no regrets' when I take a look back, and so far, so good.
Also, be nice to each other, we're all we got, there's not need to be a dick.

Also, yeah, I'm glad I quit smoking.
I still have one from time to time, and it's easy to get hooked again, but it's my one vice.
I found a lump in my arm that turned out to be nothing but it really got me thinking. Id thought about death and whatnot before but only in terms of philosophical exercise.

Thinking about it in concrete ways really has had an impact. The thought of leaving my kids behind and not seeing them grow up and have families themselves makes me want to vomit. I like to think I have more patience with them today than a year ago.
I've had these same feelings too with my situation lately, albeit not with :baby: , but still, with wife and family, nieces, nephew, etc. It's taken work to keep my mind from going to very morbid places at times. I just want this whole damn thing to be over with already.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:56 pm
KYGTIGuy wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:25 pm

I found a lump in my arm that turned out to be nothing but it really got me thinking. Id thought about death and whatnot before but only in terms of philosophical exercise.

Thinking about it in concrete ways really has had an impact. The thought of leaving my kids behind and not seeing them grow up and have families themselves makes me want to vomit. I like to think I have more patience with them today than a year ago.
I've had these same feelings too with my situation lately, albeit not with :baby: , but still, with wife and family, nieces, nephew, etc. It's taken work to keep my mind from going to very morbid places at times. I just want this whole damn thing to be over with already.
Yes, I identify with both of your experiences. What I keep reminding my self is that I have a responsibility to be strong and brave ....FOR THEM. If this (my condition) goes south, it will be life changing......and not just for me.

I know firsthand how difficult it is to watch loved ones sicken and die. I lost both my parents to cancer ~20 years ago. The way they carried themselves through their illness MATTERED.

If this thing wants me, its going to have to take me cell by fucking cell. I'll be damned if I will let it sap my spirit while my family is forced to watch.
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wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:56 pm
KYGTIGuy wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:25 pm

I found a lump in my arm that turned out to be nothing but it really got me thinking. Id thought about death and whatnot before but only in terms of philosophical exercise.

Thinking about it in concrete ways really has had an impact. The thought of leaving my kids behind and not seeing them grow up and have families themselves makes me want to vomit. I like to think I have more patience with them today than a year ago.
I've had these same feelings too with my situation lately, albeit not with :baby: , but still, with wife and family, nieces, nephew, etc. It's taken work to keep my mind from going to very morbid places at times. I just want this whole damn thing to be over with already.
I told myself they are just normal thoughts it was ok to have but tried not to dwell on it. At first I was ashamed and felt like I was having a pity party.

Shame is such a powerful emotion
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That and guilt.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 4:22 pm
wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:56 pm

I've had these same feelings too with my situation lately, albeit not with :baby: , but still, with wife and family, nieces, nephew, etc. It's taken work to keep my mind from going to very morbid places at times. I just want this whole damn thing to be over with already.
Yes, I identify with both of your experiences. What I keep reminding my self is that I have a responsibility to be strong and brave ....FOR THEM. If this (my condition) goes south, it will be life changing......and not just for me.

I know firsthand how difficult it is to watch loved ones sicken and die. I lost both my parents to cancer ~20 years ago. The way they carried themselves through their illness MATTERED.

If this thing wants me, its going to have to take me cell by fucking cell. I'll be damned if I will let it sap my spirit while my family is forced to watch.
:bravo: GREAT attitude!
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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KYGTIGuy wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 4:29 pm
wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:56 pm

I've had these same feelings too with my situation lately, albeit not with :baby: , but still, with wife and family, nieces, nephew, etc. It's taken work to keep my mind from going to very morbid places at times. I just want this whole damn thing to be over with already.
I told myself they are just normal thoughts it was ok to have but tried not to dwell on it. At first I was ashamed and felt like I was having a pity party.

Shame is such a powerful emotion
:notwrong:
Glad your thing turned out to be nothing. :like:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 4:22 pm
wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 3:56 pm

I've had these same feelings too with my situation lately, albeit not with :baby: , but still, with wife and family, nieces, nephew, etc. It's taken work to keep my mind from going to very morbid places at times. I just want this whole damn thing to be over with already.
Yes, I identify with both of your experiences. What I keep reminding my self is that I have a responsibility to be strong and brave ....FOR THEM. If this (my condition) goes south, it will be life changing......and not just for me.

I know firsthand how difficult it is to watch loved ones sicken and die. I lost both my parents to cancer ~20 years ago. The way they carried themselves through their illness MATTERED.

If this thing wants me, its going to have to take me cell by fucking cell. I'll be damned if I will let it sap my spirit while my family is forced to watch.
:dat: Nobody who didn’t know my mom had cancer would have ever guessed that she did. Smile on her face, still doing what she could to help other people, genuinely happy about the things in life that she did still have control over.

Reminds me that this pst week out in Destin was the first time she’d been back in the ocean or even a pool, since she wasn’t sure how it’d go with the colostomy bag. She’s excited to start swimming laps in her pool again now that she knows it’s okay.
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wap wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 6:02 pm
KYGTIGuy wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 4:29 pm

I told myself they are just normal thoughts it was ok to have but tried not to dwell on it. At first I was ashamed and felt like I was having a pity party.

Shame is such a powerful emotion
:notwrong:
Glad your thing turned out to be nothing. :like:
Has your procedure been scheduled?
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SAWCE wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 6:34 pm
Irish wrote: Mon May 13, 2019 4:22 pm

Yes, I identify with both of your experiences. What I keep reminding my self is that I have a responsibility to be strong and brave ....FOR THEM. If this (my condition) goes south, it will be life changing......and not just for me.

I know firsthand how difficult it is to watch loved ones sicken and die. I lost both my parents to cancer ~20 years ago. The way they carried themselves through their illness MATTERED.

If this thing wants me, its going to have to take me cell by fucking cell. I'll be damned if I will let it sap my spirit while my family is forced to watch.
:dat: Nobody who didn’t know my mom had cancer would have ever guessed that she did. Smile on her face, still doing what she could to help other people, genuinely happy about the things in life that she did still have control over.

Reminds me that this pst week out in Destin was the first time she’d been back in the ocean or even a pool, since she wasn’t sure how it’d go with the colostomy bag. She’s excited to start swimming laps in her pool again now that she knows it’s okay.
Your Mom sounds like the bees knees, man
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