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KYGTIGuy
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Permanency is a big deal in that world. I think the fear is that if you tell a child they have been given up before they will not feel secure in the new home

Not saying it's correct but that would be my guess. Might have changed by now

Coming from an old social worker who has taken many a child and given them over to pizza dungeon owners
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Desertbreh wrote:
Tarspin wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:28 pm I'm guessing it all stems from insecure parents usually. Such BS. Your mom and dad DIR and sound pretty cool.
They got divorced when I was 12 and it was far from Ward and June Cleaver, but I got dealt a fair hand.
:(
Kind of sounds like a tough few years buddy. 5/7 turn out doe!
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[user not found] wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:12 pm Ireland on both sides all the way through.

Both sets of families came over during the famine.

My dad's side all came from County Donegal and settled in Eastern Pennsylvania. My great great (or maybe add another great?) grandfather fought in an Irish brigade in the civil war when he was 16. Later he opened a pharmacy and helped with the miners organizing the union. He was chased out of PA by the Pinkertons and went to Montana to become a justice of the peace. He moved back to PA after a few years And reopened his pharmacy.

On my mom's side they all came from Limerick and Cork and settled in Illinois and Michigan.
5/7 story.

Damn, DFD'ers are an interesting bunch.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:22 pm
wap wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 2:59 pm

In4results.

How old were you when you found out, if you don't mind my asking? And if you do mind, please feel free to ignore a myob question.
I am not sensitive on the topic AT ALL. Frankly, I don't understand why people are. The late 60's were the great confluence of the sexual revolution and iffy birth control, so there were a lot of college students getting knocked up, which was my sich. Parents never hid it, was told from day one, sister also adopted same agency, same deal, 3 years later. Never got the straight scoop on why my parents could not naturally reproduce and did not ask. No real itch to meet birth either birth parent. Seems like a simple thing to me.....people got pregnant when they couldn't afford me, and gave me to people who wanted me and could afford me. Caps off to my birth mother for just cranking me out instead of aborting me. The whole "we wanted you, that's why we adopted you" seems like such a natural thing to me I never understood springing it on your kid years after the fact. YTHO.
Yeah two of my good friends growing up were adopted, and they, and we all knew at a young age. Nobody cared. They had families that loved them and that's all that mattered.

One, like you never had an interest in learning who his birth parents were. The other, wanted to, although was unsuccessful in contacting his birth mother with the limited information he had. Fast-forward 5-6 years later after college and he's living down in Long Beach and randomly met her since they lived on adjacent streets :mindblown: 5-6 years after that, and they now have a really good relationship.
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SAWCE wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:19 pm
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:22 pm

I am not sensitive on the topic AT ALL. Frankly, I don't understand why people are. The late 60's were the great confluence of the sexual revolution and iffy birth control, so there were a lot of college students getting knocked up, which was my sich. Parents never hid it, was told from day one, sister also adopted same agency, same deal, 3 years later. Never got the straight scoop on why my parents could not naturally reproduce and did not ask. No real itch to meet birth either birth parent. Seems like a simple thing to me.....people got pregnant when they couldn't afford me, and gave me to people who wanted me and could afford me. Caps off to my birth mother for just cranking me out instead of aborting me. The whole "we wanted you, that's why we adopted you" seems like such a natural thing to me I never understood springing it on your kid years after the fact. YTHO.
Yeah two of my good friends growing up were adopted, and they, and we all knew at a young age. Nobody cared. They had families that loved them and that's all that mattered.

One, like you never had an interest in learning who his birth parents were. The other, wanted to, although was unsuccessful in contacting his birth mother with the limited information he had. Fast-forward 5-6 years later after college and he's living down in Long Beach and randomly met her since they lived on adjacent streets :mindblown: 5-6 years after that, and they now have a really good relationship.
Cool story. Literally, not in a :csb: way.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Tarspin wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:57 pm
Desertbreh wrote:
They got divorced when I was 12 and it was far from Ward and June Cleaver, but I got dealt a fair hand.
:(
Kind of sounds like a tough few years buddy. 5/7 turn out doe!
Many times divorce is for the best. That was the case here. Still, both parents well educated, strong focus on education, imparted a moral compass, felt loved by both despite general derailment of father courtesy of manic depression. I've got a few scars, but most people do. I don't know how many members were raised on here by perfectly well adjusted parents who were happy when they raised their kids and are still happy living together, but I would guess the numbers are not huge.
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wap wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:20 pm
SAWCE wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:19 pm

Yeah two of my good friends growing up were adopted, and they, and we all knew at a young age. Nobody cared. They had families that loved them and that's all that mattered.

One, like you never had an interest in learning who his birth parents were. The other, wanted to, although was unsuccessful in contacting his birth mother with the limited information he had. Fast-forward 5-6 years later after college and he's living down in Long Beach and randomly met her since they lived on adjacent streets :mindblown: 5-6 years after that, and they now have a really good relationship.
Cool story. Literally, not in a :csb: way.
Agreed. My problem with the idea is violating the general contractual arrangement of the whole process. You gave your kid up. It probably wasn't easy. But you moved on, and I got dealt to parents who wanted kids bad. I kind of think my parents are entitled to move on in peace without me showing up on their doorstep in my Corvette wondering if they have heart problems or any other useful medical information.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:18 pm
wap wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:20 pm

Cool story. Literally, not in a :csb: way.
Agreed. My problem with the idea is violating the general contractual arrangement of the whole process. You gave your kid up. It probably wasn't easy. But you moved on, and I got dealt to parents who wanted kids bad. I kind of think my parents are entitled to move on in peace without me showing up on their doorstep in my Corvette wondering if they have heart problems or any other useful medical information.
Agreed. IIRC in his/her case, she got pregnant as a youngish teenager and her parents forced her to give him up for adoption.

All I know now, is that they're happy having each other in their lives.
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wap wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:44 pm
MexicanYarisTK wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 3:37 pm

In the dead forum, like ‘12-13 there are bunch of socal members that were armenians where they were on OT at one point and talked about it.
Yea I think that hairy, "virgin hour" dude is Armenian, no?
Yep he is, but he’s cool
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Desertbreh wrote:
Tarspin wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 4:57 pm :(
Kind of sounds like a tough few years buddy. 5/7 turn out doe!
Many times divorce is for the best. That was the case here. Still, both parents well educated, strong focus on education, imparted a moral compass, felt loved by both despite general derailment of father courtesy of manic depression. I've got a few scars, but most people do. I don't know how many members were raised on here by perfectly well adjusted parents who were happy when they raised their kids and are still happy living together, but I would guess the numbers are not huge.
I would guess the number is zero.


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:therapist:
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Calvinball wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 11:36 am
Desertbreh wrote:
Many times divorce is for the best. That was the case here. Still, both parents well educated, strong focus on education, imparted a moral compass, felt loved by both despite general derailment of father courtesy of manic depression. I've got a few scars, but most people do. I don't know how many members were raised on here by perfectly well adjusted parents who were happy when they raised their kids and are still happy living together, but I would guess the numbers are not huge.
I would guess the number is zero.


Sent from the Beer Depository
Reminds me of this

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wap wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 3:34 pm
SAWCE wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 3:23 pm

Didn't go beyond at all. Good story and fun to hear your background.

How was your mom a professor if she dropped out?
:dat: Good story is good.

Crazy to have a member of this forum that has a direct link to the Armenian genocide. What a fucked up era for Anatolia and the Balkans.
Agree it was an interesting story. The world is fucked up, man. For many the US is still a place of hope and refuge. I hope that doesn't get closed off. The whole damn nation was built on immigration, hardly anyone is a native american.
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:18 pm
wap wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 5:20 pm

Cool story. Literally, not in a :csb: way.
Agreed. My problem with the idea is violating the general contractual arrangement of the whole process. You gave your kid up. It probably wasn't easy. But you moved on, and I got dealt to parents who wanted kids bad. I kind of think my parents are entitled to move on in peace without me showing up on their doorstep in my Corvette wondering if they have heart problems or any other useful medical information.
Were you ever in foster care or did you get swept up immediately?
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Mom's side of the family immigrated here from Czechoslovakia. I don't know why though, possibly just for work opportunities. Story from my mom was, apparently my great grandparents were late getting to port because they were fucking around with a dresser that they wanted to keep in the family. Missed the boat and had to grab the next one. Boat was the Titanic. They settled in St Clair, PA. A small town in the middle of mining country. I have no idea how he didn't die in the mines. There was a story where he switched a shift with some other workers or went down a different shaft, and the other shaft collapsed. He served in the navy in WWII loading bombs onto planes in pitch blackout in Iceland. He lived to 100 years old. He was a legit American badass. My grandmother got very sick when she was like 80 and died then.

Dad's side of the family I know less about. They immigrated from Germany. Pop started a roofing company in Pottsville, PA and was apparently very successful. He also got into real estate.

Both my parents sides of the family were poor as shit when my parents were growing up. It's amazing I am where I am today.
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Johnny_P wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 11:45 am
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 6:18 pm

Agreed. My problem with the idea is violating the general contractual arrangement of the whole process. You gave your kid up. It probably wasn't easy. But you moved on, and I got dealt to parents who wanted kids bad. I kind of think my parents are entitled to move on in peace without me showing up on their doorstep in my Corvette wondering if they have heart problems or any other useful medical information.
Were you ever in foster care or did you get swept up immediately?
Immediately. The situation would be the same today only I would be an even more "prized commodity.".....White kid, no disabilities, birthmother not using drugs....people snap that shit up.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Johnny_P wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 11:44 am
wap wrote: Thu Jun 28, 2018 3:34 pm

:dat: Good story is good.

Crazy to have a member of this forum that has a direct link to the Armenian genocide. What a fucked up era for Anatolia and the Balkans.
Agree it was an interesting story. The world is fucked up, man. For many the US is still a place of hope and refuge. I hope that doesn't get closed off. The whole damn nation was built on immigration, hardly anyone is a native american.
:dat:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Johnny_P wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 11:58 am Mom's side of the family immigrated here from Czechoslovakia. I don't know why though, possibly just for work opportunities. Story from my mom was, apparently my great grandparents were late getting to port because they were fucking around with a dresser that they wanted to keep in the family. Missed the boat and had to grab the next one. Boat was the Titanic. They settled in St Clair, PA. A small town in the middle of mining country. I have no idea how he didn't die in the mines. There was a story where he switched a shift with some other workers or went down a different shaft, and the other shaft collapsed. He served in the navy in WWII loading bombs onto planes in pitch blackout in Iceland. He lived to 100 years old. He was a legit American badass. My grandmother got very sick when she was like 80 and died then.

Dad's side of the family I know less about. They immigrated from Germany. Pop started a roofing company in Pottsville, PA and was apparently very successful. He also got into real estate.

Both my parents sides of the family were poor as shit when my parents were growing up. It's amazing I am where I am today.
:mindblown: :alpo: right there. Twice.

Cool story, too. :like:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Johnny_P wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 11:58 am Mom's side of the family immigrated here from Czechoslovakia. I don't know why though, possibly just for work opportunities. Story from my mom was, apparently my great grandparents were late getting to port because they were fucking around with a dresser that they wanted to keep in the family. Missed the boat and had to grab the next one. Boat was the Titanic. They settled in St Clair, PA. A small town in the middle of mining country. I have no idea how he didn't die in the mines. There was a story where he switched a shift with some other workers or went down a different shaft, and the other shaft collapsed. He served in the navy in WWII loading bombs onto planes in pitch blackout in Iceland. He lived to 100 years old. He was a legit American badass. My grandmother got very sick when she was like 80 and died then.

Dad's side of the family I know less about. They immigrated from Germany. Pop started a roofing company in Pottsville, PA and was apparently very successful. He also got into real estate.

Both my parents sides of the family were poor as shit when my parents were growing up. It's amazing I am where I am today.
Way cool man. Couple of lucky turns for them there.
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[user not found] wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 1:16 pm You guys ever think about how unlikely your own existence is?
As for someone whose older generation has survived a genocide, i could only imagine if i would ever exist if its a different story
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[user not found] wrote:You guys ever think about how unlikely your own existence is?
I'm here, so not really.
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[user not found] wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 1:16 pm You guys ever think about how unlikely your own existence is?
What makes you think it's unlikely?


:mindblown:
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[user not found] wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 1:16 pm You guys ever think about how unlikely your own existence is?
Would it be better or worse if one branch of the family tree was changed?
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It blows my mind how far back the "line" goes.Just because I can't trace anything back further than the 1600s doesn't mean the line just appeared out of thin air

Like where was my 1000x Grandfather during the Roman empire? He was someone doing something somewhere. My line has always existed, as have all of yours.


That part of it I never really thought about until recently
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But whos to say that who we "are" is totally different thsn whst our DNA is? And that the DNA is just a vehicle for our spirit and that spirt was not so unlikely to exist and will again. .
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[user not found] wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 2:00 pm
KYGTIGuy wrote: Fri Jun 29, 2018 1:52 pm

What makes you think it's unlikely?


:mindblown:
In the scheme of humanity, only one mating in your family tree (of the thousands that had to have occurred) not happening means you don't exist.

Think about how brutal the world was pre 1900. It doesn't take much for your DNA mix to not come together.
I had this conversation with Michelle a little while back. I believe that I'm more than this physical body, so I would still exist, but in a different body and most likely in a different part of the world, although around the same general time-frame. My personality and all of that would obviously be different too since I would have been shaped by different experiences growing up, but I would still exist.
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