[user not found] wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:28 pmPsychologytoday.com she should look for someone that does CBT
Time Management Advice
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Desertbreh wrote: ↑Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Thanks for that link. I need to find somebody myself.[user not found] wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:28 pmPsychologytoday.com she should look for someone that does CBT
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What type of job does she have? A lot of companies have employee assistance programs as part of their benefits that can help with the search, and may provide free/discounted sessions and/or requirements that the therapist see her within a certain timeframe.razr390 wrote:We will discuss scheduling tonight or tomorrow night.[user not found] wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:21 pm Good. She should get on someone's schedule now. A couple weeks waiting list is common (the Mrs caps her wait list at 8 weeks. She maxed it out within two weeks of opening.)
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When we had issues, we found that going to see our own therapists made all the difference we needed.[user not found] wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:12 pmhttps://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cogniti ... al_therapy
FWIW - for couples therapy to really work, both parties need their OWN therapists too.
Desertbreh wrote: ↑Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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I should probably but I don't really want to change.
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Small company that barely has an hr department. I can have her look but I doubt she has that sort of thingCalvinball wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:19 pmWhat type of job does she have? A lot of companies have employee assistance programs as part of their benefits that can help with the search, and may provide free/discounted sessions and/or requirements that the therapist see her within a certain timeframe.razr390 wrote: We will discuss scheduling tonight or tomorrow night.
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Desertbreh wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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I thought she worked for chewy.com? Or is that before you moved?razr390 wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:53 pmSmall company that barely has an hr department. I can have her look but I doubt she has that sort of thingCalvinball wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:19 pm
What type of job does she have? A lot of companies have employee assistance programs as part of their benefits that can help with the search, and may provide free/discounted sessions and/or requirements that the therapist see her within a certain timeframe.
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Before we moved.
Desertbreh wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.
Desertbreh wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Same reason I'd never take psych meds: don't want to lose/change my identity. I wish people liked me, but I'm not going to change myself for everyone else. I realize that it's irrational and a professional obstacle. Oh well.[user not found] wrote:I mean, at least you admit it?
I like you.troyguitar wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:18 pmSame reason I'd never take psych meds: don't want to lose/change my identity. I wish people liked me, but I'm not going to change myself for everyone else. I realize that it's irrational and a professional obstacle. Oh well.[user not found] wrote:
I mean, at least you admit it?
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I have yet to meet you in person. But aside from a few negative tirades on this forum I dont see any issue with you.troyguitar wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:18 pmSame reason I'd never take psych meds: don't want to lose/change my identity. I wish people liked me, but I'm not going to change myself for everyone else. I realize that it's irrational and a professional obstacle. Oh well.[user not found] wrote:
I mean, at least you admit it?
, as others said, the biggest thing is accepting it.
I work 60 hours/week average and I'm home on weekends only. I always have a laundry list of things to do at my job, more things pile on before everything on the list gets completed. I prioritize it, work hard, but accept that at a certain point, I need a break and I've done all that I can. I'm not going to stress about the workload when I've done enough.
After that, decide what's important to you. I have a ton of hobbies/things I enjoy. I don't have time for all of them, so I pick and choose. For example, I don't really play music anymore. In an ideal world, I would, but when it comes down to it, I choose car shit, mountain biking/hiking, hanging out with my gf, hanging with friends over music. Maybe one day I'll be a musician again, maybe I won't. Either way, it's all good, I'm glad I played music through high school/college, it was my identity for years and it was fun.
Finally, get efficient. I always clean up while I cook. I wash one load of clothes per week, everything together... saves time.
I work 60 hours/week average and I'm home on weekends only. I always have a laundry list of things to do at my job, more things pile on before everything on the list gets completed. I prioritize it, work hard, but accept that at a certain point, I need a break and I've done all that I can. I'm not going to stress about the workload when I've done enough.
After that, decide what's important to you. I have a ton of hobbies/things I enjoy. I don't have time for all of them, so I pick and choose. For example, I don't really play music anymore. In an ideal world, I would, but when it comes down to it, I choose car shit, mountain biking/hiking, hanging out with my gf, hanging with friends over music. Maybe one day I'll be a musician again, maybe I won't. Either way, it's all good, I'm glad I played music through high school/college, it was my identity for years and it was fun.
Finally, get efficient. I always clean up while I cook. I wash one load of clothes per week, everything together... saves time.
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This is my life daily. Some things need to wait. Somethings never get done, and some things always get done instantly.razr390 wrote:So, it’s been about 6 months since I moved out of my house and relocated to the DC Metro area with my girlfriend.
Aside from the usual getting used to living on my own, and getting used to living with another person, who also happens to be my long term girlfriend (this is a learn every day situation), I have some other challenges that I’ve noticed.
I feel overwhelmed, pretty much. Not with life or what’s going on in it, but rather, just with proper time management in regard to daily routines. I work a 37.5 hour work week, but in Corporate Security it becomes close to 40-45 every week.
That aside, I always feel like I have so many things I could do, but so little time to do these things. I end up thinking about what thing I want to do first, and end up wasting more time in the process.
Have any of you been through this before? Last weekend was a pretty sweet departure from that because my girlfriend and I (after a decent fight) decided to visit the Udvar Hazy Air & Space museum, and on Sunday I went to Clifton to drive and chill with TK.
What I really want to know is how can I somehow slow down time and enjoy the moment? Some times I feel like my mind races in every which way.
My semi-annual property tax bill came in today and got paid today. My vintage chair project and corvette diagnosis and troubleshooting haven't budged in a week. Kids shit always happens on schedule, work as well. And when i feel like kicking back with drink to DFD I'm doing it between 11pm and midnight.
I just ride the wave of chaos when shit starts going sideways. I don't budge or let it affect my behavior or attitude, I . Optimism and a sense of humor are my secret weapon most of the time.
Occasionally I snap a little bit.
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I agree. I believe at one point or another most of us have had a disagreement.[user not found] wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:35 pmTroy’s a good human, a little weird just like all of us. We all have our quirks.Barnes93cb wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:21 pm
I have yet to meet you in person. But aside from a few negative tirades on this forum I dont see any issue with you.
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D Griff wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:14 pmI like you.troyguitar wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 10:18 pm Same reason I'd never take psych meds: don't want to lose/change my identity. I wish people liked me, but I'm not going to change myself for everyone else. I realize that it's irrational and a professional obstacle. Oh well.
Several of us, myself included, have publicly said more than once that we like you. Hell, we learned recently that you sometimes hang with DPlac IRL, so he obviously likes you a lot. Why do you insist on keeping up this facade that you're unliked by everybody?
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Trudy.
What I had to learn very quickly was to stay on top of the chores. Not that you need to do everything right away. But that you cannot allow multiple days go by in which you do nothing.
For me I realize that I will do laundry twice a week. It only takes a few minutes to run the machines and the rest is waiting. I like to try and combine this chore with another to optimize the time. Typically either while doing my grooming. Or while I wash the dishes. This makes the best use of my time personally. And it means that twice a week I am guaranteed to have a clean kitchen and fresh laundry.
Im not going to lie about dusting or the floors. I often let that go too far and then have to spend more time than I would like. Yard work for me is an ongoing learning process. I always have a bottle of weed killer. About 2-4x a month I will walk the yard and driveway spraying everything down. And 2x a month I will go around pulling everything that I have sprayed. Bushes and major yard maintenance will take me 2 weekends with only an hour or two each day to get the yard ready every spring.
YMMV but take all of these ideas listed into consideration.
What I had to learn very quickly was to stay on top of the chores. Not that you need to do everything right away. But that you cannot allow multiple days go by in which you do nothing.
For me I realize that I will do laundry twice a week. It only takes a few minutes to run the machines and the rest is waiting. I like to try and combine this chore with another to optimize the time. Typically either while doing my grooming. Or while I wash the dishes. This makes the best use of my time personally. And it means that twice a week I am guaranteed to have a clean kitchen and fresh laundry.
Im not going to lie about dusting or the floors. I often let that go too far and then have to spend more time than I would like. Yard work for me is an ongoing learning process. I always have a bottle of weed killer. About 2-4x a month I will walk the yard and driveway spraying everything down. And 2x a month I will go around pulling everything that I have sprayed. Bushes and major yard maintenance will take me 2 weekends with only an hour or two each day to get the yard ready every spring.
YMMV but take all of these ideas listed into consideration.
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I'm not the worst, just far from good at selling myself or interacting with people in any way. I don't get invited to anything or given free shit style, or job interviews/offers, etc. In a group setting, it's near impossible to actually get a word in and it's usually an unpopular sentiment if anyone does listen. I'm the human equivalent of a flyover state. I'm not Iran, but nobody is rushing out to visit either.wap wrote:
Several of us, myself included, have publicly said more than once that we like you. Hell, we learned recently that you sometimes hang with DPlac IRL, so he obviously likes you a lot. Why do you insist on keeping up this facade that you're unliked by everybody?
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As Barnesy said, a big key is to learn to multitask. Throw the laundry in then go cook or vacuum or clean the bathroom. Run the dishwasher while you grocery shop, etc. Also, as was mentioned, don't let things pile up. Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher immediately after every meal. Don't let them pile up in the sink. Always keep your kitchen and bathroom counters and sinks clean or at least always be wiping them down. Makes the real cleaning go quicker.
And slow down on on the socializing and video gaming and droning and movie going and aimless drives and shit. While they're great and fun, you just don't have the time to do them as much any more. Simple fact of adult life. I'm not saying cut them all out completely, though you may have to with some, just recognize the fact that you have less time to devote to them because you have other, more important, though boring, things that need to be prioritized first.
And slow down on on the socializing and video gaming and droning and movie going and aimless drives and shit. While they're great and fun, you just don't have the time to do them as much any more. Simple fact of adult life. I'm not saying cut them all out completely, though you may have to with some, just recognize the fact that you have less time to devote to them because you have other, more important, though boring, things that need to be prioritized first.
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I have this to a certain extent. I tend to get talked over or downright ignored in social situations when not with close friends. mostly.troyguitar wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:53 pmI'm not the worst, just far from good at selling myself or interacting with people in any way. I don't get invited to anything or given free shit style, or job interviews/offers, etc. In a group setting, it's near impossible to actually get a word in and it's usually an unpopular sentiment if anyone does listen. I'm the human equivalent of a flyover state. I'm not Iran, but nobody is rushing out to visit either.wap wrote:
Several of us, myself included, have publicly said more than once that we like you. Hell, we learned recently that you sometimes hang with DPlac IRL, so he obviously likes you a lot. Why do you insist on keeping up this facade that you're unliked by everybody?
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AGREED.[user not found] wrote: ↑Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:01 amI think you'd benefit most in social situations not from changing who you are but by raising your emotional intelligence, which can be done through therapy/training yourself to pay attention to social cues.troyguitar wrote: ↑Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:53 pm I'm not the worst, just far from good at selling myself or interacting with people in any way. I don't get invited to anything or given free shit style, or job interviews/offers, etc. In a group setting, it's near impossible to actually get a word in and it's usually an unpopular sentiment if anyone does listen. I'm the human equivalent of a flyover state. I'm not Iran, but nobody is rushing out to visit either.
You're definitely not unliked by everyone. You just have a conversational/information delivery style that's distinctly you.
When I see your posts on Vortex, I'll go "this sounds like Troy" and then I look over and realize its you.
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wap wrote: ↑Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:34 pmAGREED.[user not found] wrote: ↑Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:01 am
I think you'd benefit most in social situations not from changing who you are but by raising your emotional intelligence, which can be done through therapy/training yourself to pay attention to social cues.
You're definitely not unliked by everyone. You just have a conversational/information delivery style that's distinctly you.
When I see your posts on Vortex, I'll go "this sounds like Troy" and then I look over and realize its you.
Desertbreh wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Desertbreh wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.