The Sno Show - Tales of Wedding Fuckery

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Sno
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Ya’ll.

Went for site visit for our June 16th wedding this evening. After a couple rounds of emails with the venue owner about a meeting time because “they work full time jobs and can’t meet any time other than evenings and weekends” :wtf: I went out to see it in person.

I’m in the wrong branch of weddings. These assholes are making $4,200 a rental on this piece of shit.

No A/C.
They don’t set up tables and chairs and the renter is also responsible for taking them down and restocking them. (Which means my team and myself have to.)
They aren’t even on site for the rental. They give you an access code for the security system.

Are you fucking kidding me?
ImageImageImageImageImage

And yes, those last two are thumbnails because these morons can’t even website correctly.

Their contract was a word document.

$16,800 a month for use of a pole barn....


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Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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I'd believe it. We had a reserve on a barn locally and it was great, but we just decided to do it at our home.
The barn was GREAT tho. About $2,000 and similar to this one. You're in charge of setting up and breaking down, booze, all that shit. Only thing the guy didn't want was candles. He's making a killing though and keeps upgrading it. After we left after looking at it I was like, this dude's balling and is doing minimal.
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[user not found] wrote: Wed May 23, 2018 8:30 pm Man my folks barn is WAY nicer...
Where is it?
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[user not found] wrote: Wed May 23, 2018 8:30 pm Man my folks barn is WAY nicer...
Put in some bathrooms. You, too, could be making $100,000 a year. This fucking place didn’t even have catering amenities. We have to take the trash to the dumpster at the end of the night.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Car themed weddings in my garage.
$1,000 a pop.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon wrote: Wed May 23, 2018 10:21 pm Car themed weddings in my garage.
$1,000 a pop.
Bring your own 10W-40
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Sno wrote: Wed May 23, 2018 8:07 pm Ya’ll.

Went for site visit for our June 16th wedding this evening. After a couple rounds of emails with the venue owner about a meeting time because “they work full time jobs and can’t meet any time other than evenings and weekends” :wtf: I went out to see it in person.

I’m in the wrong branch of weddings. These assholes are making $4,200 a rental on this piece of shit.

No A/C.
They don’t set up tables and chairs and the renter is also responsible for taking them down and restocking them. (Which means my team and myself have to.)
They aren’t even on site for the rental. They give you an access code for the security system.

Are you fucking kidding me?
ImageImageImageImageImage

And yes, those last two are thumbnails because these morons can’t even website correctly.

Their contract was a word document.

$16,800 a month for use of a pole barn....


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I'm seriously in the wrong fucking business. I need to buy a god damn barn.
I like rumbles, vape juice and mudflaps :gay:

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KiaGiver wrote: Thu May 24, 2018 7:58 pm
Sno wrote: Wed May 23, 2018 8:07 pm barns n shit

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I'm seriously in the wrong fucking business. I need to buy a god damn barn to store all my expensive cars.
:dat:
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dubshow wrote: Thu May 24, 2018 8:25 pm
KiaGiver wrote: Thu May 24, 2018 7:58 pm

I'm seriously in the wrong fucking business. I need to buy a god damn barn to store all my expensive cars.
:dat:
:lolol: :jizz:

:iswydt:
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That "barn" looks worse than most fire halls and gun clubs I've been to. Wow.

I've had fun weddings in barns. Can't imagine they were easy to set up though. Also, AC would be a requirement for me. I can't deal with summer heat, or those late fall heat waves.
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Johnny_P wrote: Fri May 25, 2018 9:07 am That "barn" looks worse than most fire halls and gun clubs I've been to. Wow.

I've had fun weddings in barns. Can't imagine they were easy to set up though. Also, AC would be a requirement for me. I can't deal with summer heat, or those late fall heat waves.
:dat:

Some :fullretard: stuff here.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Spring season has really had an organized and chaos free start. I don’t have a ton of :mindblown: to report (yet. Now that I’ve put it out in the universe, the next one will be a shit show.) but work was done yesterday. We had the typical mother of the bride driving me nuts and a ripped dress by about 10:00 pm but nothing huge.

We were at Indiana University’s Memorial Union. This place is massive, we all walked over 15 miles by the end of the day. It includes the student union plus a full hotel, food court, bookstore and multiple venue spaces. There were six weddings in one building yesterday. Their catering and hospitality team is just incredible and the back of the house details are awesome to see on days like that. And therefor makes our job so much easier on wedding days.

That being said, it was hilarious to see drunk people roaming the hallways at 11:30 last night completely lost while trying to find their rooms. And being nowhere close to where they needed to be.

Image

Image

All that being said, I have to eat my words a bit. We worked with a DJ last night that I have been dreading. We have worked with him before but I was not on site for that specific wedding to witness his work. One of my associates handled it. This guy has this “thing” he’s self-proclaimed known for. He has this chicken hat. It’s exactly what you think it. Legs that hang down, it’s bad. He hides the chicken hat under a random guest chair. After the first dances, he then tells all the guests to look under their chairs. Whoever is stuck with it has to put it on, go in front of everyone, and open the dance floor with the chicken dance.

Let me say that I usually have a strict absolutely no chicken dance policy. It’s just not done at weddings anymore. But this guy talked the bride and groom into this whole concept. I double checked, and verified, and revisited this idea with my couple at least a dozen times to make sure they knew and understand exactly what was going to happen. They cleared it and my mortification set in deep.

I could not imagine this ever going over well. As a guest, I would absolutely hand you the hat and tell you to go fuck yourself. Probably into a microphone. Everyone I’ve ever talked to in the industry about this feels the same. The answer is a unwavering “absolutely not.”

This fucking guy killed it. It actually worked. And he had the dance floor more packed for the entire night than any DJ I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t help but think this wedding was an anomaly and that the couple really knew their guests and it would never work again but I am eating my words on this one for now.

Vertical videos because I suck. :triggered:






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Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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In today’s episode of RSVPs...

I see you like names that end in dyn.


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Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:36 am In today’s episode of RSVPs...

I see you like names that end in dyn.


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:rolleyes:
As the only published author in a well-known motorcycle publication in the room...
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4zilch wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:43 am
Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:36 am In today’s episode of RSVPs...

I see you like names that end in dyn.



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:rolleyes:
#PINSHITNAMES
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Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 10:36 am In today’s episode of RSVPs...

I see you like names that end in dyn.


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Omg. A triple dose of whiteness and a dash of pintrest.
My mom gets me to cut vinyl for her cheerleaders' megaphones every year when the new batch of them come thru. I do it for side cash. Every year, she gives me a list of names... And the list gets more "pintresty" every year. This last year I think there about 5 out of the 11 or 12 total that had names like this.

:rolleyes:
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For a bonus, please tell me that's an adult only wedding with the guests writing in their hell spawn. I love love love reading about those things on /r/childfree.
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stripethree wrote:For a bonus, please tell me that's an adult only wedding with the guests writing in their hell spawn. I love love love reading about those things on /r/childfree.
Unfortunately, no. Verified with guest list, 5 are in fact invited.

All though Zilch and I had that happen with our wedding with one of his work buddies. I opened the RSVP and it had caught me at the point where I was over everything and came home guns blazing over it. Zilch got a firm “fix this.” The mother fucker even followed it up by writing in “we’ll have the kids in tow if that’s cool?”

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Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote:
stripethree wrote:For a bonus, please tell me that's an adult only wedding with the guests writing in their hell spawn. I love love love reading about those things on /r/childfree.
Unfortunately, no. Verified with guest list, 5 are in fact invited.

All though Zilch and I had that happen with our wedding with one of his work buddies. I opened the RSVP and it had caught me at the point where I was over everything and came home guns blazing over it. Zilch got a firm “fix this.” The mother fucker even followed it up by writing in “we’ll have the kids in tow if that’s cool?”

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Good news. Still have a picture.

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Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 11:55 am All though Zilch and I had that happen with our wedding with one of his work buddies. I opened the RSVP and it had caught me at the point where I was over everything and came home guns blazing over it. Zilch got a firm “fix this.” The mother fucker even followed it up by writing in “we’ll have the kids in tow if that’s cool?”
Narrator: It was not, in fact, cool.
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stripethree wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:15 pm
Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 11:55 am All though Zilch and I had that happen with our wedding with one of his work buddies. I opened the RSVP and it had caught me at the point where I was over everything and came home guns blazing over it. Zilch got a firm “fix this.” The mother fucker even followed it up by writing in “we’ll have the kids in tow if that’s cool?”
Narrator: It was not, in fact, cool.
:lolol:

In other news. GAY CAKES are back off the menu boys.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/04/us/p ... ouple.html
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dubshow wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:49 pm
stripethree wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:15 pm
Narrator: It was not, in fact, cool.
:lolol:

In other news. GAY CAKES are back off the menu boys.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/04/us/p ... ouple.html
Eh, only on those particular facts.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:13 pm
Sno wrote:
Unfortunately, no. Verified with guest list, 5 are in fact invited.

All though Zilch and I had that happen with our wedding with one of his work buddies. I opened the RSVP and it had caught me at the point where I was over everything and came home guns blazing over it. Zilch got a firm “fix this.” The mother fucker even followed it up by writing in “we’ll have the kids in tow if that’s cool?”

Image


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Good news. Still have a picture.

Image


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Classic crotchfruit producer vs. crotchfruit free assumption problem. Hilarious. They should have also asked if they could ignore their kids the whole time whilst getting hammered.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Desertbreh wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 1:11 pm
Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:13 pm

Good news. Still have a picture.

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Classic crotchfruit producer vs. crotchfruit free assumption problem. Hilarious. They should have also asked if they could ignore their kids the whole time whilst getting hammered.
I don’t think he even came? Or e Dee up coming by himself? Zilch would have to verify, I couldn’t pick this guy up out of a line up.

If he was at our wedding, he was drunk. Just like everyone else.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 1:20 pm
Desertbreh wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 1:11 pm

Classic crotchfruit producer vs. crotchfruit free assumption problem. Hilarious. They should have also asked if they could ignore their kids the whole time whilst getting hammered.
I don’t think he even came? Or e Dee up coming by himself? Zilch would have to verify, I couldn’t pick this guy up out of a line up.

If he was at our wedding, he was drunk. Just like everyone else.
"Well, if they don't want our kids there, I don't want to be there. Go by yourself."
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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