The Sno Show - Tales of Wedding Fuckery

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Sno
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[user not found] wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 7:17 pm
Sno wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 4:32 pm Wedding season starts dis weekend, fools.

And we're kicking it off with two Irish Catholic families that are serving all vegan. And a $25,000 floral budget.
My people are not allowed to be vegans. THE POTATO KING HAS SPOKEN.
I’ve already had to promise my team we’ll order pizza. I’m apparently paying my dues for complaining about having barbecue at weddings one too many times last year.

These people are going to be so hammered.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 7:00 pm
[user not found] wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 6:45 pm I'm so glad Sno is back. Missed your saucy :sass:
:wub: I’m happy to be back, good sir.
:notsure:
You seemed pretty glad to leave.

Glad you're back too, :doe: :like:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 9:41 pm
Sno wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 7:00 pm

:wub: I’m happy to be back, good sir.
:notsure:
You seemed pretty glad to leave.

Glad you're back too, :doe: :like:
:notsure: how voicing concerns over issues seemed happy? I have friends here who have been/are friends for life. And certainly have means to communicate with them outside of DFD. But I hope because I met all of them via a forum, except for the hubby, that this forum takes the same trend.

But I missed interacting with the forum as a group. It’s fun, until it’s not. And a little fun has been restored. So fun times to be had! :jimp:
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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[user not found] wrote: Fri Mar 02, 2018 11:03 am
Sno wrote: Fri Mar 02, 2018 7:29 am

:notsure: how voicing concerns over issues seemed happy? I have friends here who have been/are friends for life. And certainly have means to communicate with them outside of DFD. But I hope because I met all of them via a forum, except for the hubby, that this forum takes the same trend.

But I missed interacting with the forum as a group. It’s fun, until it’s not. And a little fun has been restored. So fun times to be had! :jimp:
You're a part of us.

Seeing people :nope: out over things makes me :angrypanda:
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Sno wrote: Fri Mar 02, 2018 7:29 am
wap wrote: Thu Mar 01, 2018 9:41 pm

:notsure:
You seemed pretty glad to leave.

Glad you're back too, :doe: :like:
:notsure: how voicing concerns over issues seemed happy? I have friends here who have been/are friends for life. And certainly have means to communicate with them outside of DFD. But I hope because I met all of them via a forum, except for the hubby, that this forum takes the same trend.

But I missed interacting with the forum as a group. It’s fun, until it’s not. And a little fun has been restored. So fun times to be had! :jimp:
Happy was the wrong word. Perhaps I should have said "ready".
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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I want to diiiiiie. I am out of wedding shape from the winter and yesterday’s 5:30 am alarm clock to 1:30 am crash left me damn near unable to stand this morning. If you ever want to know what t feels like, stand for twenty hours straight. That’s it. Just stand, preferably in ballet flats with no support, and shift your weight to whatever side hurts less at the moment. Throw in some stairs and heavy lifting if you’re feeling particularly motivated but my entire team all cracked 30,000 steps yesterday. That’s 120,000 steps. Google says an average mile is about 2,000 steps. So if we’re keeping tabs, that’s 60 miles by 4 people yesterday. Google also says an average day at Disney World is about 13k. Fuck. Me.

As for good stories, for serving vegan to two Irish Catholic families, we had absolutely no drunken issues. I can safely say this wedding was as perfect as they pretty much come.

I was talking to the venue coordinator at about 10:30 who pointed out a tall guy who walked past us. He was a groom that got married at the same venue three months ago. The girl on his arm who he was damn near groping in public was not his wife he married three months ago. And he was definitely still wearing a wedding ring. We could only surmise that the female was the one that got invited with a plus one and he was her plus one. :iono:

It is also hysterical to watch drunken couples end up in arguments at weddings. For what they think is a quiet ignorable dispute is blanantly clear to all of us that are sober. We had a couple sitting at table 14 for over an hour last night (omg get up so we can clear your chargers and votives!!) with the female staring straight ahead with her arms crossed and the male leaning over towards her speaking in hushed tones. No idea who did what but it’s almost hysterical to see them thinking they’re acting normal.

Also had our first wedding cake ever go completely untouched. Couple never wanted to slice it, weren’t into the ceremony idea of it but at 12:00 am we packed up a full wedding cake clearly only placed for aesthetics. Insanity.

Brides bouquet is also on my dining room table. We asked her as she was leaving if she wanted it. Her response “fuuuuck it! They’re just going to die!” Couldn’t bring myself to just throw away a $300 bouquet.

Typical weed smoking on the patio and mother of the bride handed out condoms on the dance floor at about 11:30. Only to smack one out of her daughter’s hand and yell that she wants grand babies. Wedding season is open, friends.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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:lolol:
:popcorn:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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This thread delivers


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:therapist:
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Calvinball wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:50 pm This thread delivers


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Fuck yeah it does.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Sno wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:17 am
Typical weed smoking on the patio and mother of the bride handed out condoms on the dance floor at about 11:30. Only to smack one out of her daughter’s hand and yell that she wants grand babies. Wedding season is open, friends.
:lolol:
brain go brrrrrr
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Big Brain Bradley wrote: Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:29 am
Sno wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:17 am
Typical weed smoking on the patio and mother of the bride handed out condoms on the dance floor at about 11:30. Only to smack one out of her daughter’s hand and yell that she wants grand babies. Wedding season is open, friends.
:lolol:
got to practice safe wedding orgies.
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dubshow wrote: Mon Mar 05, 2018 9:25 am
Big Brain Bradley wrote: Mon Mar 05, 2018 8:29 am

:lolol:
got to practice safe wedding orgies.
I was actually a little :notsure: considering catholic? But whatevs.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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:bruh: do you even Vatican II? dey getting with the times. They dont even hate gays anymore.
brain go brrrrrr
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So as a segment of the Sno Show wedding thread, I bring you “RSVP of the day”

For context: some of our higher packages include RSVP service. Which means the wedding RSVP envelopes are addressed to our office address and we track them for the client in a google doc that they can check real time. So they don’t have to fuck with it.

Most of the time it’s dumbasses that don’t know how to fill out an RSVP but every once in a while we get gold.

Today’s offering:
Image

It’s a fucking wedding, Cindy. Go home to your cat.


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Last edited by Sno on Thu Mar 22, 2018 12:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Thu Mar 22, 2018 12:12 pm So as a segment of the Sno Show wedding thread, I bring you “RSVP of the day”

For context: some of our higher packages include RSVP service. Which means the wedding RSVP envelopes are addressed to our office address and we track them for the client in a google doc that they can check real time. So they don’t have to fuck with it.

Most of the time it’s dumbasses that don’t know how to fill out an RSVP but every once in a while we get gold.

Today’s offering:
Image

It’s a fucking wedding, Cindy. Go home to your cat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Install a volume knob that does nothing next to dj
brain go brrrrrr
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Just have the DJ whisper "Cindy" really slowly between songs.
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Big Brain Bradley wrote: Thu Mar 22, 2018 1:04 pm
Sno wrote: Thu Mar 22, 2018 12:12 pm So as a segment of the Sno Show wedding thread, I bring you “RSVP of the day”

For context: some of our higher packages include RSVP service. Which means the wedding RSVP envelopes are addressed to our office address and we track them for the client in a google doc that they can check real time. So they don’t have to fuck with it.

Most of the time it’s dumbasses that don’t know how to fill out an RSVP but every once in a while we get gold.

Today’s offering:
Image

It’s a fucking wedding, Cindy. Go home to your cat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Install a volume knob that does nothing next to dj
:lolol:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Sno wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:17 amTypical weed smoking on the patio and mother of the bride handed out condoms on the dance floor at about 11:30. Only to smack one out of her daughter’s hand and yell that she wants grand babies. Wedding season is open, friends.
I :lolol: hard at that one
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Sno wrote: Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:17 am I want to diiiiiie. I am out of wedding shape from the winter and yesterday’s 5:30 am alarm clock to 1:30 am crash left me damn near unable to stand this morning. If you ever want to know what t feels like, stand for twenty hours straight. That’s it. Just stand, preferably in ballet flats with no support, and shift your weight to whatever side hurts less at the moment. Throw in some stairs and heavy lifting if you’re feeling particularly motivated but my entire team all cracked 30,000 steps yesterday. That’s 120,000 steps. Google says an average mile is about 2,000 steps. So if we’re keeping tabs, that’s 60 miles by 4 people yesterday. Google also says an average day at Disney World is about 13k. Fuck. Me.

As for good stories, for serving vegan to two Irish Catholic families, we had absolutely no drunken issues. I can safely say this wedding was as perfect as they pretty much come.

I was talking to the venue coordinator at about 10:30 who pointed out a tall guy who walked past us. He was a groom that got married at the same venue three months ago. The girl on his arm who he was damn near groping in public was not his wife he married three months ago. And he was definitely still wearing a wedding ring. We could only surmise that the female was the one that got invited with a plus one and he was her plus one. :iono:

It is also hysterical to watch drunken couples end up in arguments at weddings. For what they think is a quiet ignorable dispute is blanantly clear to all of us that are sober. We had a couple sitting at table 14 for over an hour last night (omg get up so we can clear your chargers and votives!!) with the female staring straight ahead with her arms crossed and the male leaning over towards her speaking in hushed tones. No idea who did what but it’s almost hysterical to see them thinking they’re acting normal.

Also had our first wedding cake ever go completely untouched. Couple never wanted to slice it, weren’t into the ceremony idea of it but at 12:00 am we packed up a full wedding cake clearly only placed for aesthetics. Insanity.

Brides bouquet is also on my dining room table. We asked her as she was leaving if she wanted it. Her response “fuuuuck it! They’re just going to die!” Couldn’t bring myself to just throw away a $300 bouquet.

Typical weed smoking on the patio and mother of the bride handed out condoms on the dance floor at about 11:30. Only to smack one out of her daughter’s hand and yell that she wants grand babies. Wedding season is open, friends.
Best thread.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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WTF on mother of the bride handing out condoms at a wedding.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Desertbreh wrote: Fri Mar 23, 2018 10:54 am WTF on mother of the bride handing out condoms at a wedding.
I’m not even phased by this kind of shit anymore. I think you become so practiced in measuring your reactions that even when something is literally on fire, my response is “great, fire extinguisher, please?”

But we are bringing in a fresh team of interns this season and it’s always hysterical to watch them see this kind of thing for the first time. By October they’re numb and just worried one of the groomsmen is going to try to fit the condom over his face.

We’re expecting a massive snow storm tomorrow morning and I have one starting with tomorrow’s wedding. She’s already texted asking what do we do about the snow? “We go to work. Welcome to weddings.”
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:11 am
Desertbreh wrote: Fri Mar 23, 2018 10:54 am WTF on mother of the bride handing out condoms at a wedding.
I’m not even phased by this kind of shit anymore. I think you become so practiced in measuring your reactions that even when something is literally on fire, my response is “great, fire extinguisher, please?”

But we are bringing in a fresh team of interns this season and it’s always hysterical to watch them see this kind of thing for the first time. By October they’re numb and just worried one of the groomsmen is going to try to fit the condom over his face.

We’re expecting a massive snow storm tomorrow morning and I have one starting with tomorrow’s wedding. She’s already texted asking what do we do about the snow? “We go to work. Welcome to weddings.”
Tell her you have the Heat Miser on speed dial and he is going to melt all of it.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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We had a crazy easy day schedule yesterday but we did not have a crazy easy day. The couple got married privately in New Mexico earlier in the week and the reception was simple and scheduled with us. Lunch starting at noon, wrapped by 3:00, home in time for dinner.

Until a 16 hour winter weather advisory hit. I stayed in Indy overnight in Friday to save myself an extra 45 minutes of a drive but I had interns driving in, as well. The snow was supposed to start at 2:00 am and when I got up at 5:30, there wasn’t a flake to be seen. By 6:30 when I got on the road, it was coming down in sheets. We all got in on time but it continued to come down and we had at least six inches on the ground by the time we were packing up. Miraculously, no major issues for the reception. Florist, caterer, etc. all prepared and arrived on time. As well as my interns. Hallefuckinlujah. They might actually be a capable team this season. The drive home on the other hand was painful and took over two hours. I lost count of slide offs and spent the entire trip doing under 30 mph. The Fiat’s traction control is :impressive: doe.

Girl Scout wedding badge earned for weather advisory.

As for drama, I have a close friend who started dating a new guy about a year ago. Zilch and I have both met him, like him, he’s a little awkward but all around seems like a decent guy. Dude walked in with another chick yesterday to the wedding. I’m trying to not assume anything but he definitely looked like he saw a ghost when he saw me and I’m trying to not assume that’s guilt. I never got a chance to talk to him or witness anything incriminating but?...
Last edited by Sno on Sun Mar 25, 2018 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Once again, :popcorn:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote: Sun Mar 25, 2018 10:44 am Once again, :popcorn:
I have explored the idea of doing a podcast. Every week I get more and more convinced to give it a shot.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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