:wtf: WAP made a car thread? AKA the most boring car thread ever

Strut your greasy stuff!
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wap
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Whelp, as most of you know, I was rear ended hard ( :knot: ) on Monday by fucktard Stuart in his F150 and just found out my beloved :turboyaris: is totaled. Thankfully I wasn’t at all hurt, so grateful for that, for sure.
Some pics to summarize:
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Plus Stuart’s murder weapon:
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And my current loaner:
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I just heard from the appraiser and his estimate based just on a visual inspection, so before getting it up on a lift, is about $8k, which will no doubt climb a bunch once they start tearing the car apart so it’s going to be totaled. Currently waiting to hear what :bs: $ number they’re going to give me for it.
So it’s time to shop for a car. :disgust:
This will be a short, boring list and I know I’m going to hear how :wrong: I am but IDGAF. I like what I like so :gtfo: with talk of :jeep: , or :truk: or :poorvette: or used ‘Bahn burner. Not interested.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap
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What I want:
Small – 179” max length
Car height, no CUV
Utility, specifically, 4 doors and a hatch.
<<$30k.
Much prefer new, but would MAYBE consider a 2018.
Able to burn 87 would be nice
Needs to be kinda fun to drive, so decent performance. It needs to be quick enough to get out of it’s own way, merge on short on ramps, etc, and some handling chops is a must.
A real color would be nice this time.
What I don’t want:

CUV/SUV/ :jeep: / :truk:
Toyota anything – sorry Fled, et al, it’s just nahgonnahappen
Some 4+ year old luxury thing that was $50k+ new but only $25k now. Not interested in the maintenance and upkeep those will require.
An ugly-ass Civic


Current contenders:

GTI
What can I say? Still the overall Best Car to Rule Them All, the Swiss Army Knife of cars.
Plus’s: Value, quality, comfort, performance, superiorinterior, it’s got all that.
It’s quick enough, handles well enough, hauls shit when necessary, great road trip car.
They seem to have the EA888 down in it’s 3rd generation with fewer carbon issues. Correct me if I’m :wrong: here.
There’s a reason why so many of us here bought one.
Can be found for mid-$20’s

Minus’s: I’ve already had 2, though the Mk4 2.slo is a completely different animal than a 6 or 7.5 so can’t really include.
Smaller fuel tank than a Mk6.
Not available in many colors. The blue looks a lot like my CSG and I don’t care for red. Honestly, it looks best in white, IN MY OPINION. I could live with a white GTI.

All-Track
Plus’s: Scratches that wagon itch I’ve had for a while.
Bigger cargo capacity. Duh.
It has the 1.8 engine. The only reason I’m not including a GSW here is because of the :jalepenis: 1.4.
Available in real a couple of real colors.

Minus’s: Not as fast or as nimble-handling as a GTI.
:aintcare: about AWD, though the :gorf: owners here don’t seem to mind it.
No cloth/plaid seats. Big bummer for me.

Much farther down the desirability list are
Those are the main ones. Told you this would be a boring thread.

Elantra GT or N
Plus’s: Not a VW
Epic warranty
Epic feature content
:dill: ‘s to be had. True for all choice, tbh.

Minus’s: Not a VW
Not as good looking as a GTI
Not many color choices
No cloth option
Mazda3
Not that many plus’s, honestly. Kinda meh about this, really. Supposedly quite nice but even less sporty than the previous gen.
No real minus’s really. Don’t like the C pillar.
No Mazdaspeed version.

That’s all I got for now.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap
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Lastly, remember who I am. I am the original :wap: , who grew up in a household full of survivors of the Great Depression and a survivor of the Nazi occupation of the Old Country, and my tastes, frugality, common sense, and values were shaped by same. Also, wife grew up behind the iron curtain and survived living under martial law. So I ain’t spending my annual salary on a fucking car regardless of epic :dill: s and interest rates. Get off my lawn.
Last edited by wap on Mon Apr 27, 2020 5:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Gberg2119
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:manuel: or no? Obviously it's a bit higher than $30k but whorange.

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... pe=listing

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Mk7.5 GTI.

/thread.
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Gberg2119 wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:14 pm :manuel: or no? Obviously it's a bit higher than $30k but whorange.

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... pe=listing

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I had no idea this even existed. :notbad:
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fledonfoot wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:15 pm Mk7.5 GTI.

/thread.
:bread:
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Gberg2119 wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:14 pm :manuel: or no? Obviously it's a bit higher than $30k but whorange.

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... pe=listing

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:jimp: :muah:
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wap wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:06 pm Lastly, remember who I am. I am the original :wap: , who grew up in a household full of survivors of the Great Depression and a survivor of the Nazi occupation of the Old Country, and my tastes, frugality, common sense, and values were shaped by same. Also, wife grew up behind the iron curtain and survived living under martial law. So I ain’t spending my annual salary on a fucking car regardless of epic :dills: ‘s and interest rates. Get off my lawn.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/2016-BMW-5-Ser ... Swm-deizkv

:drunk: :zing:
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Desertbreh
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Just fucking with you Ron. Where does a manual transmission fit into this equation?
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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wap
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Gberg2119 wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:14 pm :manuel: or no? Obviously it's a bit higher than $30k but whorange.

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... pe=listing

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I'd love to, but can't do :manuel: because :tits:

Cool color, doe
Last edited by wap on Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Desertbreh
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Gberg2119 wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:14 pm :manuel: or no? Obviously it's a bit higher than $30k but whorange.

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... pe=listing

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Bad Ass.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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wap
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fledonfoot wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:15 pm Mk7.5 GTI.

/thread.
It's the most likely outcome, tbh.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:31 pm
wap wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:06 pm Lastly, remember who I am. I am the original :wap: , who grew up in a household full of survivors of the Great Depression and a survivor of the Nazi occupation of the Old Country, and my tastes, frugality, common sense, and values were shaped by same. Also, wife grew up behind the iron curtain and survived living under martial law. So I ain’t spending my annual salary on a fucking car regardless of epic :dills: ‘s and interest rates. Get off my lawn.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/2016-BMW-5-Ser ... Swm-deizkv

:drunk: :zing:
It's good to see that you took my post to heart, Dirk.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:32 pm Just fucking with you Ron. Where does a manual transmission fit into this equation?
It doesn't, because :tits:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:38 pm
It's good to see that you took my post to heart, Dirk.
Well at least get a well optioned GTI or an R. There's nothing excessive about that. You should buy new or barely used because :wap:
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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Gberg2119 wrote::manuel: or no? Obviously it's a bit higher than $30k but whorange.

https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... pe=listing

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:jimp:

It’s like a more beautiful version of the mk5 Fahrenheits.


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wap
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VW website the GTI has a 14.9 gallon tank now. Used to be 13.something. When did this happen? This is good development.
https://www.vw.com/models/golf-gti/section/overview/
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:32 pm Just fucking with you Ron. Where does a manual transmission fit into this equation?
It doesn't, because :tits:
Is :tits: a dog? If not, teach her a new trick of being able to handle a stick.

I made a rhyme.

I kid though, I’m amongst the lucky who has a wife who can drive a :manuel:


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wap
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Desertbreh wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:41 pm
wap wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:38 pm

It's good to see that you took my post to heart, Dirk.
Well at least get a well optioned GTI or an R. There's nothing excessive about that. You should buy new or barely used because :wap:
Don't disagree. Thing is, I think the S level of GTI, while the lowest, is the best because it's the only version with cloth plaid seats, which I :wub:
Halogen headlights doe, which blows.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap
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Wocka Wocka wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:42 pm
wap wrote:
It doesn't, because :tits:
Is :tits: a dog? If not, teach her a new trick of being able to handle a stick.

I made a rhyme.

I kid though, I’m amongst the lucky who has a wife who can drive a :manuel:


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:jelly:
I've tried teaching her. She's......not interested.
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote:
Wocka Wocka wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:42 pm Is :tits: a dog? If not, teach her a new trick of being able to handle a stick.

I made a rhyme.

I kid though, I’m amongst the lucky who has a wife who can drive a :manuel:


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:jelly:
I've tried teaching her. She's......not interested.
That’s unfortunate.


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wap
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This is a decent color combo.
Image
Image
And a decent price.
https://www.vwofchicagoland.com/invento ... u7km521370
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:45 pm
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Apr 23, 2020 5:41 pm

Well at least get a well optioned GTI or an R. There's nothing excessive about that. You should buy new or barely used because :wap:
Don't disagree. Thing is, I think the S level of GTI, while the lowest, is the best because it's the only version with cloth plaid seats, which I :wub:
Halogen headlights doe, which blows.
Interesting.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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