McQueenBalls Whacks it to his Douchemobile and other Musings

[Johnny_P]

I’d take her to pound town. Nice.

[MexicanYarisTK]

Pics of the victim ? Sounds like a fun night

twas. the magic was after she left, I went up the hill, picked up the kids, took them to school then went back home and crashed for a few hours before going to work. I'm stoked she's down to continue. She seems to be looking for a relationship but has probably already sussed out that aint gonna be me. So I'll ride it out for the time being.

This is the only pic I have, she has 1 profile pic on the Tind.. And I was wrong, 38. This I find is becoming the top of my age range.

McQueen, I'd also try Hinge too
and she looks pretty young for a 38 year old.

[wap]

Zilcho to report with the car so I'll relay a good dong slinging story from the other day. This was a Tinder match thing, 36 yr old mom of a 6 yr old. Looked pretty good, I did what I do now which is arrange a quick daytime meetup, we grabbed lunch. Figure if they look alright and seem cool in broad daylight, sober @ noon, then you're alright vs. doing the lets meet in a dimly lit bar for the first time and have drinks.. That opens up the door for future shock factor.
So we do lunch, uneventful. Kind of a bookworm, far left white as the driven snow girl who works for the Getty on some admin level. Seemed kind of dorky, conservatively dressed but cute. We make plans to do drinks a week later, meet up, have some drinks. Due to my recent scare I Uber'd and all that and didn't drink too much anyway, maybe 3 drinks over the course of 2.5 hrs. She drove. We're waiting in her CX5 for my uber to come and she's like "maybe I should just come over" so over she came.
She was dressed conservatively on the date even, jeans, sweater, etc. Turns out she is one of these secret weapon types where her body is pretty firing and she was like, I mean, she was adventurous. Just going for it, wants me to talk dirty etc. and I've got semi drunk dick so I'm just throwing dong full tilt for a while and then she wants me to pop all over the double D's so I do. The juggz were a very pleasant surprise.

But then here were are, its 2am. She's like "do you want me to sleep over or not?" but its late and she's naked and I'm like yah, ok fine. But I can't sleep. She's laying there, she is fully sleeping and I'm basically up most of the night. Im having anxiety that she's gonna want to do the extended morning hang because she heard me say earlier I didnt have to be back to work until noon. So I get up at 7, jump in the shower, tell her I gotta get my kids and go in early and she's up and dressed and out of there. Before she leaves she's like "sorry I ruined your sleep, I should have left". And I'm thinking, yes, ideally we would have knocked it out around midnight, you would have left and I could then finish this season of Mindhunter with a cold one on my couch in peace but I was like "no it was fine.." So I figure that was it, we're done. But then she makes plans to bone zone this friday, during the day before she has to go get her kid.

So there you go. day in the life. I never would have been able to post this on the Bimmer forums...

As an Olde married guy, this sounds pretty baller to me..... she sounds oh, so, sexy librarian which is very much my type...... grass is always greener

[MexicanYarisTK]

Zilcho to report with the car so I'll relay a good dong slinging story from the other day. This was a Tinder match thing, 36 yr old mom of a 6 yr old. Looked pretty good, I did what I do now which is arrange a quick daytime meetup, we grabbed lunch. Figure if they look alright and seem cool in broad daylight, sober @ noon, then you're alright vs. doing the lets meet in a dimly lit bar for the first time and have drinks.. That opens up the door for future shock factor.
So we do lunch, uneventful. Kind of a bookworm, far left white as the driven snow girl who works for the Getty on some admin level. Seemed kind of dorky, conservatively dressed but cute. We make plans to do drinks a week later, meet up, have some drinks. Due to my recent scare I Uber'd and all that and didn't drink too much anyway, maybe 3 drinks over the course of 2.5 hrs. She drove. We're waiting in her CX5 for my uber to come and she's like "maybe I should just come over" so over she came.
She was dressed conservatively on the date even, jeans, sweater, etc. Turns out she is one of these secret weapon types where her body is pretty firing and she was like, I mean, she was adventurous. Just going for it, wants me to talk dirty etc. and I've got semi drunk dick so I'm just throwing dong full tilt for a while and then she wants me to pop all over the double D's so I do. The juggz were a very pleasant surprise.

But then here were are, its 2am. She's like "do you want me to sleep over or not?" but its late and she's naked and I'm like yah, ok fine. But I can't sleep. She's laying there, she is fully sleeping and I'm basically up most of the night. Im having anxiety that she's gonna want to do the extended morning hang because she heard me say earlier I didnt have to be back to work until noon. So I get up at 7, jump in the shower, tell her I gotta get my kids and go in early and she's up and dressed and out of there. Before she leaves she's like "sorry I ruined your sleep, I should have left". And I'm thinking, yes, ideally we would have knocked it out around midnight, you would have left and I could then finish this season of Mindhunter with a cold one on my couch in peace but I was like "no it was fine.." So I figure that was it, we're done. But then she makes plans to bone zone this friday, during the day before she has to go get her kid.

So there you go. day in the life. I never would have been able to post this on the Bimmer forums...

5/7 story.

[McQueenBalls]

Valeri pulling through for the continuation - cruised over there today at 1, hung out on the couch and chit chat, sipped some alkaline water, laid serious pipe, cruised home at 3:30 and now next-level assistant/girl friday and I are rolling to Primus and Slayer @ the Forum tonight, full comp scene brah. Today is a good day. Ol' McQueen is due for some good days. Been a hard ass year, hard year.

Thanks for the E-support bros and helping me to maximize stoke.

[Apex]

Valeri pulling through for the continuation - cruised over there today at 1, hung out on the couch and chit chat, sipped some alkaline water, laid serious pipe, cruised home at 3:30 and now next-level assistant/girl friday and I are rolling to Primus and Slayer @ the Forum tonight, full comp scene brah. Today is a good day. Ol' McQueen is due for some good days. Been a hard ass year, hard year.

Thanks for the E-support bros and helping me to maximize stoke.

:highfive:

[max225]

Valeri pulling through for the continuation - cruised over there today at 1, hung out on the couch and chit chat, sipped some alkaline water, laid serious pipe, cruised home at 3:30 and now next-level assistant/girl friday and I are rolling to Primus and Slayer @ the Forum tonight, full comp scene brah. Today is a good day. Ol' McQueen is due for some good days. Been a hard ass year, hard year.

Thanks for the E-support bros and helping me to maximize stoke.

Post stuffing stuffing !

[wap]

Valeri pulling through for the continuation - cruised over there today at 1, hung out on the couch and chit chat, sipped some alkaline water, laid serious pipe, cruised home at 3:30 and now next-level assistant/girl friday and I are rolling to Primus and Slayer @ the Forum tonight, full comp scene brah. Today is a good day. Ol' McQueen is due for some good days. Been a hard ass year, hard year.

Thanks for the E-support bros and helping me to maximize stoke.

[McQueenBalls]

Well, brought the old boy in for an oil change CBS service and to have them check out why my external temperature sensor reads 20 degrees off on a regular basis. That was 4 days ago and they still have the car and are "diagnosing the problem with the sensor". Why not just replace it and call it a day? Good thing they give out loaners so freely at Pacific BMW because not having your car for 4 days because of an oil change is absurd..
I'm in an X1. Note to self, really glad I didn't get the X1. Its not a bad little SUV at all - blows away, for example, a Tiguan or Rav4 or whatever but a few things.. The base seats blow loads, the all season run flats are very noisy tires, car has a good amount of road and wind noise compared to my car, interior build is rather cheap, the base stereo is weak sauce and front wheel drive is noticeably a bummer. Stock power in the X1 is enough to make it feel pretty unstable at WOT, pretty squirrely front end, but most mini Asian office workers or whoever drives this car aren't going to be doing a lot of 0-60 runs in the X1 so its fine. All in all though, its decent. Major step down in overall everything compared to the X3 but the car I''m in has Nav, heated seats and some other shit and stickers below $40k; a pittance in Bimmer world.

Recently saw Ford vs. Ferrari with the new GF. Jesus that was a good fucking movie. Anyone see it? Made me miss driving the man trans in a MAJOR fucking way. Like, a lot. Its funny I haven't thought about that in a while but I miss driving manual a lot. Rowin' gears. Fuckin a. If I'm ever not making $150k yet broke every month because I'm bestowing piles of money on my ex wife, I need to buy a beater weekend car with a man trans, little boxter or something. I've been saying that for years though and look at me. Still in the Camry. F30 Camry slushbox lifer.

[SAWCE]

Well, brought the old boy in for an oil change CBS service and to have them check out why my external temperature sensor reads 20 degrees off on a regular basis. That was 4 days ago and they still have the car and are "diagnosing the problem with the sensor". Why not just replace it and call it a day? Good thing they give out loaners so freely at Pacific BMW because not having your car for 4 days because of an oil change is absurd..
I'm in an X1. Note to self, really glad I didn't get the X1. Its not a bad little SUV at all - blows away, for example, a Tiguan or Rav4 or whatever but a few things.. The base seats blow loads, the all season run flats are very noisy tires, car has a good amount of road and wind noise compared to my car, interior build is rather cheap, the base stereo is weak sauce and front wheel drive is noticeably a bummer. Stock power in the X1 is enough to make it feel pretty unstable at WOT, pretty squirrely front end, but most mini Asian office workers or whoever drives this car aren't going to be doing a lot of 0-60 runs in the X1 so its fine. All in all though, its decent. Major step down in overall everything compared to the X3 but the car I''m in has Nav, heated seats and some other shit and stickers below $40k; a pittance in Bimmer world.

Recently saw Ford vs. Ferrari with the new GF. Jesus that was a good fucking movie. Anyone see it? Made me miss driving the man trans in a MAJOR fucking way. Like, a lot. Its funny I haven't thought about that in a while but I miss driving manual a lot. Rowin' gears. Fuckin a. If I'm ever not making $150k yet broke every month because I'm bestowing piles of money on my ex wife, I need to buy a beater weekend car with a man trans, little boxter or something. I've been saying that for years though and look at me. Still in the Camry. F30 Camry slushbox lifer.

No ; no care.
Who you pounding out for Christmas?

[McQueenBalls]

haha.. Valerie is ancient history and I've recently deleted the apps... I suddenly find my self in a relashe.. (short for relationship, my friends..) Girl I have worked with for like 6 years that ive always been close with but was always kind of off limits, basically because of work/profesh reasons but anyway, came out to me that she is taking a touring gig next year and will be in and out of town which drove us to both profess our feelings for eachother and its been pretty intense ever since. She's 26, pretty epic. Really solid chick though, rad with kids, very non-millenial vibe.. Maximus, its the girl in the batting cage video on my IG. We are trying to keep it under wraps at work for the time being.. Mentioned it to my ex since she's gonna be around my kids from time to time and my ex was oddly cool about it, almost robotic. "great, I'm happy for you, she's nice..."

i'll throw up a few pics.

[McQueenBalls]

[SAWCE]

haha.. Valerie is ancient history and I've recently deleted the apps... I suddenly find my self in a relashe.. (short for relationship, my friends..) Girl I have worked with for like 6 years that ive always been close with but was always kind of off limits, basically because of work/profesh reasons but anyway, came out to me that she is taking a touring gig next year and will be in and out of town which drove us to both profess our feelings for eachother and its been pretty intense ever since. She's 26, pretty epic. Really solid chick though, rad with kids, very non-millenial vibe.. Maximus, its the girl in the batting cage video on my IG. We are trying to keep it under wraps at work for the time being.. Mentioned it to my ex since she's gonna be around my kids from time to time and my ex was oddly cool about it, almost robotic. "great, I'm happy for you, she's nice..."

i'll throw up a few pics.

dude. That’s awesome.

Also, IG handle so I can follow you?

[D Griff]

Well, brought the old boy in for an oil change CBS service and to have them check out why my external temperature sensor reads 20 degrees off on a regular basis. That was 4 days ago and they still have the car and are "diagnosing the problem with the sensor". Why not just replace it and call it a day? Good thing they give out loaners so freely at Pacific BMW because not having your car for 4 days because of an oil change is absurd..
I'm in an X1. Note to self, really glad I didn't get the X1. Its not a bad little SUV at all - blows away, for example, a Tiguan or Rav4 or whatever but a few things.. The base seats blow loads, the all season run flats are very noisy tires, car has a good amount of road and wind noise compared to my car, interior build is rather cheap, the base stereo is weak sauce and front wheel drive is noticeably a bummer. Stock power in the X1 is enough to make it feel pretty unstable at WOT, pretty squirrely front end, but most mini Asian office workers or whoever drives this car aren't going to be doing a lot of 0-60 runs in the X1 so its fine. All in all though, its decent. Major step down in overall everything compared to the X3 but the car I''m in has Nav, heated seats and some other shit and stickers below $40k; a pittance in Bimmer world.

Recently saw Ford vs. Ferrari with the new GF. Jesus that was a good fucking movie. Anyone see it? Made me miss driving the man trans in a MAJOR fucking way. Like, a lot. Its funny I haven't thought about that in a while but I miss driving manual a lot. Rowin' gears. Fuckin a. If I'm ever not making $150k yet broke every month because I'm bestowing piles of money on my ex wife, I need to buy a beater weekend car with a man trans, little boxter or something. I've been saying that for years though and look at me. Still in the Camry. F30 Camry slushbox lifer.

You got to get in on that F30 Kamry lyfe, bro.

Ford v. Ferrari was sick though.

New girl is cute

[McQueenBalls]

haha.. Valerie is ancient history and I've recently deleted the apps... I suddenly find my self in a relashe.. (short for relationship, my friends..) Girl I have worked with for like 6 years that ive always been close with but was always kind of off limits, basically because of work/profesh reasons but anyway, came out to me that she is taking a touring gig next year and will be in and out of town which drove us to both profess our feelings for eachother and its been pretty intense ever since. She's 26, pretty epic. Really solid chick though, rad with kids, very non-millenial vibe.. Maximus, its the girl in the batting cage video on my IG. We are trying to keep it under wraps at work for the time being.. Mentioned it to my ex since she's gonna be around my kids from time to time and my ex was oddly cool about it, almost robotic. "great, I'm happy for you, she's nice..."

i'll throw up a few pics.

dude. That’s awesome.

Also, IG handle so I can follow you?

nateperrytcb

[SAWCE]

dude. That’s awesome.

Also, IG handle so I can follow you?

nateperrytcb

Followed. JKUbomber

[McQueenBalls]

HOLY SHIT, rodents strike again. Service adviser bro tells me that they couldn't figure out what the issue was w/the external temp sensor and then wouldn't you know, rodent chewed through the engine harness. $6800 to replace. This exact thing happened to this car 2 years ago. I used to park it outside, now I garage it and this STILL HAPPENS? WTF?! Fucking rodents. So, again, it is a comp claim w/Geico, filed the claim, its $100 deductible and it being the holidays and based on how long this took last time, I don't anticipate having the Camry back until mid January. Amazing. Least I've got the new mom mobile to roll in. It kind of works out too.. Me and the woman are doing a New Years road trip up to Sacramento, so theres 1000 miles I don't have to put on my car. Sick. I'll take it. Keep my car as long as you need guys. Gonna drive the living hell out of this shitbox

[Tar]

Mucho entertaining thread. Gotta go to work in the early AM but I'll lurk back later!

[max225]

haha.. Valerie is ancient history and I've recently deleted the apps... I suddenly find my self in a relashe.. (short for relationship, my friends..) Girl I have worked with for like 6 years that ive always been close with but was always kind of off limits, basically because of work/profesh reasons but anyway, came out to me that she is taking a touring gig next year and will be in and out of town which drove us to both profess our feelings for eachother and its been pretty intense ever since. She's 26, pretty epic. Really solid chick though, rad with kids, very non-millenial vibe.. Maximus, its the girl in the batting cage video on my IG. We are trying to keep it under wraps at work for the time being.. Mentioned it to my ex since she's gonna be around my kids from time to time and my ex was oddly cool about it, almost robotic. "great, I'm happy for you, she's nice..."

i'll throw up a few pics.

You waste little time my friend. you’re not moving fast on this one ?

[max225]

Uma Thurman, nice tigglebitties too

[max225]

HOLY SHIT, rodents strike again. Service adviser bro tells me that they couldn't figure out what the issue was w/the external temp sensor and then wouldn't you know, rodent chewed through the engine harness. $6800 to replace. This exact thing happened to this car 2 years ago. I used to park it outside, now I garage it and this STILL HAPPENS? WTF?! Fucking rodents. So, again, it is a comp claim w/Geico, filed the claim, its $100 deductible and it being the holidays and based on how long this took last time, I don't anticipate having the Camry back until mid January. Amazing. Least I've got the new mom mobile to roll in. It kind of works out too.. Me and the woman are doing a New Years road trip up to Sacramento, so theres 1000 miles I don't have to put on my car. Sick. I'll take it. Keep my car as long as you need guys. Gonna drive the living hell out of this shitbox

Wow that’s some shit ...

[SAWCE]

Followed. JKUbomber

Not to be confused with JKUboomer

Sometimes autocorrect changes bomber to boomer with my friends that call me bomber

[max225]

Not to be confused with JKUboomer

Sometimes autocorrect changes bomber to boomer with my friends that call me bomber

[Johnny_P]

HOLY SHIT, rodents strike again. Service adviser bro tells me that they couldn't figure out what the issue was w/the external temp sensor and then wouldn't you know, rodent chewed through the engine harness. $6800 to replace. This exact thing happened to this car 2 years ago. I used to park it outside, now I garage it and this STILL HAPPENS? WTF?! Fucking rodents. So, again, it is a comp claim w/Geico, filed the claim, its $100 deductible and it being the holidays and based on how long this took last time, I don't anticipate having the Camry back until mid January. Amazing. Least I've got the new mom mobile to roll in. It kind of works out too.. Me and the woman are doing a New Years road trip up to Sacramento, so theres 1000 miles I don't have to put on my car. Sick. I'll take it. Keep my car as long as you need guys. Gonna drive the living hell out of this shitbox

Oh man

[McQueenBalls]

haha.. Valerie is ancient history and I've recently deleted the apps... I suddenly find my self in a relashe.. (short for relationship, my friends..) Girl I have worked with for like 6 years that ive always been close with but was always kind of off limits, basically because of work/profesh reasons but anyway, came out to me that she is taking a touring gig next year and will be in and out of town which drove us to both profess our feelings for eachother and its been pretty intense ever since. She's 26, pretty epic. Really solid chick though, rad with kids, very non-millenial vibe.. Maximus, its the girl in the batting cage video on my IG. We are trying to keep it under wraps at work for the time being.. Mentioned it to my ex since she's gonna be around my kids from time to time and my ex was oddly cool about it, almost robotic. "great, I'm happy for you, she's nice..."

i'll throw up a few pics.

You waste little time my friend. you’re not moving fast on this one ?

Yes, movement is fast... I guess, but we've known eachother/worked together for 6 years so.. yes and no. But its been a very intense past 3 weeks

HOLY SHIT, rodents strike again. Service adviser bro tells me that they couldn't figure out what the issue was w/the external temp sensor and then wouldn't you know, rodent chewed through the engine harness. $6800 to replace. This exact thing happened to this car 2 years ago. I used to park it outside, now I garage it and this STILL HAPPENS? WTF?! Fucking rodents. So, again, it is a comp claim w/Geico, filed the claim, its $100 deductible and it being the holidays and based on how long this took last time, I don't anticipate having the Camry back until mid January. Amazing. Least I've got the new mom mobile to roll in. It kind of works out too.. Me and the woman are doing a New Years road trip up to Sacramento, so theres 1000 miles I don't have to put on my car. Sick. I'll take it. Keep my car as long as you need guys. Gonna drive the living hell out of this shitbox

Oh man

Yeah, its ridiculous. How does this happen twice in the span of 2 years. Hey BMW, maybe stop making the shit you wrap the engine harness in out of hamburger meat or whatever it is so the rodents don't want to eat my engine?? I anticipate being in the white mini mom mobile for at least a month. I bet w/the holiday that there will be no movement on this until the 1st week of January. First Geico bro has to go look at it, they process the claim, then the dealer prob has to order the harness from the fatherland and a bunch of little Aryan gnomes will have to handcraft a new harness, ship it, then I think if I remember correctly the labor is insane. I remember looking at the statement the last time it happened and it was like several hours of labor to do. Maybe they actually have to pull the engine? No idea.

So the mile allotment on the tic tac car is 75 per day. Ive been averaging around 20. Work is dead for the next 3-4 weeks so I'll be driving little except for the road trips. We're going up north a week from Mon and then to Vegas the following week. Thats like 1400 miles. Better to put those miles on the mom mobile vs. the Camry.

I put 87 in the X1 the other day. Like a cheap bastard.