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troyguitar wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:10 pm We act differently but it seems like Chris and I think pretty similarly on these things. My car is fucking cool and fun but it's such a waste of money. Will I enjoy it enough to be worth delaying retirement for a year or two by the time you add up all of the money wasted on it? How can you even attempt to answer that question?
Depends on the amount of money. 30/50k is a spit In the retirement bucket imo. But yes a 150k mile Camry is obviously the answer with one way insurance
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max225 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 4:04 pm
troyguitar wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:10 pm We act differently but it seems like Chris and I think pretty similarly on these things. My car is fucking cool and fun but it's such a waste of money. Will I enjoy it enough to be worth delaying retirement for a year or two by the time you add up all of the money wasted on it? How can you even attempt to answer that question?
Depends on the amount of money. 30/50k is a spit In the retirement bucket imo. But yes a 150k mile Camry is obviously the answer with one way insurance
Not really... That amount dumped in at age 30 will turn into a couple year's income for most of us mere mortals (from what I can guess most DFDers are bringing in like $75-150K/year). A couple of year's income = a couple of year's retirement.

I think the concept of viewing everything you do as "time in retirement" is flawed though. It will just make you miserable for the best years of your life. Every :fancy: dinner is probably another week you could not work, every vacation another month or two, etc. but then you wind up just not doing anything and being miserable for the most able years of your life. Also, the whole concept of investing in retirement requires a lot of time, so even if you do absolutely nothing for say, your full 30s, you still have to give that money time in the market to grow.

I contribute the max allowed in 401K each year and can't really stomach saving more than that for retirement when I could just die at any point.
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D Griff wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 4:44 pm
max225 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 4:04 pm

Depends on the amount of money. 30/50k is a spit In the retirement bucket imo. But yes a 150k mile Camry is obviously the answer with one way insurance
Not really... That amount dumped in at age 30 will turn into a couple year's income for most of us mere mortals (from what I can guess most DFDers are bringing in like $75-150K/year). A couple of year's income = a couple of year's retirement.

I think the concept of viewing everything you do as "time in retirement" is flawed though. It will just make you miserable for the best years of your life. Every :fancy: dinner is probably another week you could not work, every vacation another month or two, etc. but then you wind up just not doing anything and being miserable for the most able years of your life. Also, the whole concept of investing in retirement requires a lot of time, so even if you do absolutely nothing for say, your full 30s, you still have to give that money time in the market to grow.

I contribute the max allowed in 401K each year and can't really stomach saving more than that for retirement when I could just die at any point.
30k today is not 30k 30 years from now... more like 5k the whole “watch my money grow” is just a land of make believe. Unless you’re far above 5% roi which can but is not guaranteed to happen.

Driving a shitty car in your 30s so that you can “enjoy” a poorsche when you’re 60 is probably not gonna happen. As mentioned you will waste the best years of your life in a shit box.

Point is... Chris, live a little :)
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D Griff wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 4:44 pm
max225 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 4:04 pm

Depends on the amount of money. 30/50k is a spit In the retirement bucket imo. But yes a 150k mile Camry is obviously the answer with one way insurance
Not really... That amount dumped in at age 30 will turn into a couple year's income for most of us mere mortals (from what I can guess most DFDers are bringing in like $75-150K/year). A couple of year's income = a couple of year's retirement.

I think the concept of viewing everything you do as "time in retirement" is flawed though. It will just make you miserable for the best years of your life. Every :fancy: dinner is probably another week you could not work, every vacation another month or two, etc. but then you wind up just not doing anything and being miserable for the most able years of your life. Also, the whole concept of investing in retirement requires a lot of time, so even if you do absolutely nothing for say, your full 30s, you still have to give that money time in the market to grow.

I contribute the max allowed in 401K each year and can't really stomach saving more than that for retirement when I could just die at any point.
Agreed. Like everything, it requires a balance to achieve without wanting to kill yourself daily. So it's not binary, as DFD would have you believe.
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Detroit wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:55 pm
troyguitar wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:10 pm We act differently but it seems like Chris and I think pretty similarly on these things. My car is fucking cool and fun but it's such a waste of money. Will I enjoy it enough to be worth delaying retirement for a year or two by the time you add up all of the money wasted on it? How can you even attempt to answer that question?
It's becoming an existential life question for me. I've spent the last 2 months living more frugal than I have in a very long time and guess what? I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. Due in large part to location, but not having all this crap and overhead has really cleared up my mind and overall existence. We've been offing crap either to the trash or sold to others at an :impressive: rate and it feels great.

Which has spiraled into what exactly is "retirement" and what is a "good life". Do I need to slave away at an office paying super high COL prices, and buying crap in a never ending cycle chasing "happiness" while I sock money away in a 401k to one day maybe do....exactly what I'm doing today? It's not like I'm living in my parent's basement sucking off the system and want to do that forever. I want to just live simply and cheaply so I don't have to deal with the stresses and :bs: of conventional "work till you die" life.

The concept of "work your ass off to amass a bunch of stuff so you can one day stop and die shortly after" is just not what I want. If I could achieve a simpler/happier life halfway through, that seems a lot more appealing than stressing myself for 80% of my life just to enjoy MAYBE 20% then die.

Would fun cars enhance my life? Sure. But it's a LOT of cost that could instead be deployed elsewhere like traveling or experiences or maybe a year or so sabbatical to reassess everything. Hell, I'll have enough cash to pay the mortgage on the house for 10 years...what if I just take a few years off working and see and do all the shit I've wanted to do but never had time to...WHILE I'm young enough to enjoy it?

Life is short, I'm not going to waste it. Everyone values different things differently though and I'm sure most will tell me I'm :wrong: That's fine, because I probably am to most. Different strokes.
I aspire to this and I am 26. It’ll be tough with the kiddo but we’ve had her young enough to where even when she’s 18 and making her own decisions I’ll be 43, which is still young enough. I’ll do everything in my power to get her everything possible to help her succeed as her own person, but I am taking a very :aintcare: mentality when it comes to my stuff from here on out. Just enough to get by and not buying shit just for the sake of buying it.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 6:18 pm
Detroit wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 3:55 pm
It's becoming an existential life question for me. I've spent the last 2 months living more frugal than I have in a very long time and guess what? I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. Due in large part to location, but not having all this crap and overhead has really cleared up my mind and overall existence. We've been offing crap either to the trash or sold to others at an :impressive: rate and it feels great.

Which has spiraled into what exactly is "retirement" and what is a "good life". Do I need to slave away at an office paying super high COL prices, and buying crap in a never ending cycle chasing "happiness" while I sock money away in a 401k to one day maybe do....exactly what I'm doing today? It's not like I'm living in my parent's basement sucking off the system and want to do that forever. I want to just live simply and cheaply so I don't have to deal with the stresses and :bs: of conventional "work till you die" life.

The concept of "work your ass off to amass a bunch of stuff so you can one day stop and die shortly after" is just not what I want. If I could achieve a simpler/happier life halfway through, that seems a lot more appealing than stressing myself for 80% of my life just to enjoy MAYBE 20% then die.

Would fun cars enhance my life? Sure. But it's a LOT of cost that could instead be deployed elsewhere like traveling or experiences or maybe a year or so sabbatical to reassess everything. Hell, I'll have enough cash to pay the mortgage on the house for 10 years...what if I just take a few years off working and see and do all the shit I've wanted to do but never had time to...WHILE I'm young enough to enjoy it?

Life is short, I'm not going to waste it. Everyone values different things differently though and I'm sure most will tell me I'm :wrong: That's fine, because I probably am to most. Different strokes.
I aspire to this and I am 26. It’ll be tough with the kiddo but we’ve had her young enough to where even when she’s 18 and making her own decisions I’ll be 43, which is still young enough. I’ll do everything in my power to get her everything possible to help her succeed as her own person, but I am taking a very :aintcare: mentality when it comes to my stuff from here on out. Just enough to get by and not buying shit just for the sake of buying it.
Easy to do when the parents buy you a 30k Vehicle that a non breeding dude that has been working for a decade longer than you is not indulging himself in
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max225 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 6:29 pm
razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 6:18 pm
I aspire to this and I am 26. It’ll be tough with the kiddo but we’ve had her young enough to where even when she’s 18 and making her own decisions I’ll be 43, which is still young enough. I’ll do everything in my power to get her everything possible to help her succeed as her own person, but I am taking a very :aintcare: mentality when it comes to my stuff from here on out. Just enough to get by and not buying shit just for the sake of buying it.
Easy to do when the parents buy you a 30k Vehicle that a non breeding dude that has been working for a decade longer than you is not indulging himself in
Sure, and I won't argue the merits of that. I won't regurgitate my talking points about how I ended up in this situation. However, my current car was purchased before a child was ever in the picture, and I pay for it myself. My dad co-signed on the loan for me since I did not have enough credit history to qualify for a car. I re-financed by myself in 2019 and am now the only person on the loan. Again, I pay for the car myself. But, I also understand at my young age (whereas most 26 year olds might not yet realize) that paying $498/month on the GTI (much as I love it) when I could either not spend that amount on a car or spend less and have more money to use at my disposal.

I know that I am the forum resident :millennial: but I would argue that my viewpoints on life have changed drastically, mostly due to the realization that I am no longer making decisions for myself, or even my partner, but now my child as well.

I think everyone eventually reaches some sort of similar conclusion, I just had to reach it much quicker than most. However, there are plenty of young parents (some younger than me) that still try to live out their youth and party, go out, etc. I never liked that and even more hate it now. I am fairly to myself.

But, I would argue what my parents did for me I want to do at minimum for my kid. I am not a shithead kid who pouts and stomps feet. My parents immigrated to the states and had no idea how college, scholarships, etc. worked. I got myself a scholarship that paid me to go to college. I took that burden off of my parents, and I am hoping that as long as my kid is as level headed and motivated to succeed herself (we will always be there for her) that I can reward her in a similar fashion.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Kids would change the equation greatly. What I'm doing is admittedly very selfish and not what the masses would consider responsible. But I've never wanted kids, married a woman who feels the same and made choices in life to enable my selfish lifestyle.

But the real point I struggle with is "live a little". I almost view choices to forego fancy material things in the pursuit of freedom from normal life bullshit as "living a lot", not "a little". Traditional retirement schemes, property ladder bullshit, and college savings accounts don't have to apply to everyone. it's a big choice that I'm not taking lightly, and also why I'm torturing the car spending so much. Other than the house, it's the highest dollar purchase decision we make and I'm trying to be smart with weighing the balance between TRUE wants and needs.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 7:42 pm
max225 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 6:29 pm

Easy to do when the parents buy you a 30k Vehicle that a non breeding dude that has been working for a decade longer than you is not indulging himself in
Sure, and I won't argue the merits of that. I won't regurgitate my talking points about how I ended up in this situation. However, my current car was purchased before a child was ever in the picture, and I pay for it myself. My dad co-signed on the loan for me since I did not have enough credit history to qualify for a car. I re-financed by myself in 2019 and am now the only person on the loan. Again, I pay for the car myself. But, I also understand at my young age (whereas most 26 year olds might not yet realize) that paying $498/month on the GTI (much as I love it) when I could either not spend that amount on a car or spend less and have more money to use at my disposal.

I know that I am the forum resident :millennial: but I would argue that my viewpoints on life have changed drastically, mostly due to the realization that I am no longer making decisions for myself, or even my partner, but now my child as well.

I think everyone eventually reaches some sort of similar conclusion, I just had to reach it much quicker than most. However, there are plenty of young parents (some younger than me) that still try to live out their youth and party, go out, etc. I never liked that and even more hate it now. I am fairly to myself.

But, I would argue what my parents did for me I want to do at minimum for my kid. I am not a shithead kid who pouts and stomps feet. My parents immigrated to the states and had no idea how college, scholarships, etc. worked. I got myself a scholarship that paid me to go to college. I took that burden off of my parents, and I am hoping that as long as my kid is as level headed and motivated to succeed herself (we will always be there for her) that I can reward her in a similar fashion.
Based on what I'm reading and what I know about you I vouch for you as a mature and complete adult in every sense of the word. As a parent to parent, you're doing great and i know how tough the first year is. Good job bro!
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Tarspin wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 8:48 pm
razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 7:42 pm

Sure, and I won't argue the merits of that. I won't regurgitate my talking points about how I ended up in this situation. However, my current car was purchased before a child was ever in the picture, and I pay for it myself. My dad co-signed on the loan for me since I did not have enough credit history to qualify for a car. I re-financed by myself in 2019 and am now the only person on the loan. Again, I pay for the car myself. But, I also understand at my young age (whereas most 26 year olds might not yet realize) that paying $498/month on the GTI (much as I love it) when I could either not spend that amount on a car or spend less and have more money to use at my disposal.

I know that I am the forum resident :millennial: but I would argue that my viewpoints on life have changed drastically, mostly due to the realization that I am no longer making decisions for myself, or even my partner, but now my child as well.

I think everyone eventually reaches some sort of similar conclusion, I just had to reach it much quicker than most. However, there are plenty of young parents (some younger than me) that still try to live out their youth and party, go out, etc. I never liked that and even more hate it now. I am fairly to myself.

But, I would argue what my parents did for me I want to do at minimum for my kid. I am not a shithead kid who pouts and stomps feet. My parents immigrated to the states and had no idea how college, scholarships, etc. worked. I got myself a scholarship that paid me to go to college. I took that burden off of my parents, and I am hoping that as long as my kid is as level headed and motivated to succeed herself (we will always be there for her) that I can reward her in a similar fashion.
Based on what I'm reading and what I know about you I vouch for you as a mature and complete adult in every sense of the word. As a parent to parent, you're doing great and i know how tough the first year is. Good job bro!
I’m still not 100% satisfied, but I also think I am doing better than majority of folks at my age. Max contribution to 401k, saving some here and there and investing some here and there. Single income and scraping by, but that’s OKAY. I have some $0 balance credit cards for emergency SHTF moments and some savings for that as well. Once the little one is in school and we get dual income again we will be Cush af. Especially since I’ll probably be at a director level position by the. (3-4 years or so).
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 9:39 pm
Tarspin wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 8:48 pm

Based on what I'm reading and what I know about you I vouch for you as a mature and complete adult in every sense of the word. As a parent to parent, you're doing great and i know how tough the first year is. Good job bro!
I’m still not 100% satisfied, but I also think I am doing better than majority of folks at my age. Max contribution to 401k, saving some here and there and investing some here and there. Single income and scraping by, but that’s OKAY. I have some $0 balance credit cards for emergency SHTF moments and some savings for that as well. Once the little one is in school and we get dual income again we will be Cush af. Especially since I’ll probably be at a director level position by the. (3-4 years or so).
:dat: :wat: :tits: said




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Tarspin wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 12:10 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 9:39 pm

I’m still not 100% satisfied, but I also think I am doing better than majority of folks at my age. Max contribution to 401k, saving some here and there and investing some here and there. Single income and scraping by, but that’s OKAY. I have some $0 balance credit cards for emergency SHTF moments and some savings for that as well. Once the little one is in school and we get dual income again we will be Cush af. Especially since I’ll probably be at a director level position by the. (3-4 years or so).
:dat: :wat: :tits: said




:trollface:
:sass:
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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razr390 wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 12:11 am
Tarspin wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 12:10 am

:dat: :wat: :tits: said




:trollface:
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razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 9:39 pm
Tarspin wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 8:48 pm

Based on what I'm reading and what I know about you I vouch for you as a mature and complete adult in every sense of the word. As a parent to parent, you're doing great and i know how tough the first year is. Good job bro!
I’m still not 100% satisfied, but I also think I am doing better than majority of folks at my age. Max contribution to 401k, saving some here and there and investing some here and there. Single income and scraping by, but that’s OKAY. I have some $0 balance credit cards for emergency SHTF moments and some savings for that as well. Once the little one is in school and we get dual income again we will be Cush af. Especially since I’ll probably be at a director level position by the. (3-4 years or so).
That was going to be me. Now I'm a "senior engineer" 2 rungs down. :mahman:
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@chris

With no kids, you two are skipping an absolutely retarded amount of money being lit on fire. Even with only one income, I think you have plenty of bandwidth to live however you want to. If that's a simple life with $6k used Camrys then that's cool. If that means you lease a new 911 for 3 years because fuck it, then that's cool too.
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Detroit wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 8:48 pm Kids would change the equation greatly. What I'm doing is admittedly very selfish and not what the masses would consider responsible. But I've never wanted kids, married a woman who feels the same and made choices in life to enable my selfish lifestyle.

But the real point I struggle with is "live a little". I almost view choices to forego fancy material things in the pursuit of freedom from normal life bullshit as "living a lot", not "a little". Traditional retirement schemes, property ladder bullshit, and college savings accounts don't have to apply to everyone. it's a big choice that I'm not taking lightly, and also why I'm torturing the car spending so much. Other than the house, it's the highest dollar purchase decision we make and I'm trying to be smart with weighing the balance between TRUE wants and needs.
Counter point: having kids is the most selfish thing one could ever do. I'm not saying that I look down on it, I'll likely have one or two myself, but "doing you" is just fine and shouldn't come with any guilt. We are selfish beings. Many work long hours at miserable jobs to buy stupid shit to make themselves happy. Others pursue kids to seek happiness. Neither one is really right/wrong, we all have our own goals.

I think your current path is impressive and I would love to be on it, but my wife is really not similar and I feel like she has just gotten way more into buying shit as time has gone on/we've had more money. It is a weird thing to watch, I've only been married for (almost) a year but we are both very different people than we were a couple of years back, I guess that's what makes it a challenge.

Re: cars, I am with you. I really enjoy having the Corvette, it is cheap/paid off, not much to insure, I don't care about it to the point of it adding any stress to my life, and it gets me where I need reliably when I need a car. I spend a fair amount doing track shit, but that doesn't really have anything to do with the car itself. I don't think I'd be any happier with a 997 or something like that. Sure, it is a better car, nicer inside, more performance, etc. but at the end of the day, both that and the POS C5 are a lot of fun and the C5 costs a tiny fraction and generates no stress for me if it's left sitting outside or on the street outside of a bar overnight, and I don't care when I pick up rock chips at the track.
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Johnny_P wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 6:52 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 9:39 pm

I’m still not 100% satisfied, but I also think I am doing better than majority of folks at my age. Max contribution to 401k, saving some here and there and investing some here and there. Single income and scraping by, but that’s OKAY. I have some $0 balance credit cards for emergency SHTF moments and some savings for that as well. Once the little one is in school and we get dual income again we will be Cush af. Especially since I’ll probably be at a director level position by the. (3-4 years or so).
That was going to be me. Now I'm a "senior engineer" 2 rungs down. :mahman:
Life can change fast. I've learned that myself. Promised promotions that vaporized, new jobs that turned out to be :poop: and lead nowhere. Can't really count on much of anything other than yourself these days.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Johnny_P wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 6:54 am @chris

With no kids, you two are skipping an absolutely retarded amount of money being lit on fire. Even with only one income, I think you have plenty of bandwidth to live however you want to. If that's a simple life with $6k used Camrys then that's cool. If that means you lease a new 911 for 3 years because fuck it, then that's cool too.
The biggest question is income in the long term. Our move north could have a very drastic impact on my earnings potential. I'm 100% ok with that, and decided to move with that in mind, but that also means more caution is required...at least for the next year or so until I know what's going to happen with my existing job.

I figure there's a 50/50 chance of me staying in my current job WFH for the long run or taking some time off to figure things out and hunt for something either permanent remote or located up here. Either way, it makes me really nervous to blow money on luxuries.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Johnny_P wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 6:52 am
razr390 wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 9:39 pm

I’m still not 100% satisfied, but I also think I am doing better than majority of folks at my age. Max contribution to 401k, saving some here and there and investing some here and there. Single income and scraping by, but that’s OKAY. I have some $0 balance credit cards for emergency SHTF moments and some savings for that as well. Once the little one is in school and we get dual income again we will be Cush af. Especially since I’ll probably be at a director level position by the. (3-4 years or so).
That was going to be me. Now I'm a "senior engineer" 2 rungs down. :mahman:
Two rungs down means when you get back up you’ll be making way more than what you were previously.
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Detroit wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:42 am
Johnny_P wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 6:54 am @chris

With no kids, you two are skipping an absolutely retarded amount of money being lit on fire. Even with only one income, I think you have plenty of bandwidth to live however you want to. If that's a simple life with $6k used Camrys then that's cool. If that means you lease a new 911 for 3 years because fuck it, then that's cool too.
The biggest question is income in the long term. Our move north could have a very drastic impact on my earnings potential. I'm 100% ok with that, and decided to move with that in mind, but that also means more caution is required...at least for the next year or so until I know what's going to happen with my existing job.

I figure there's a 50/50 chance of me staying in my current job WFH for the long run or taking some time off to figure things out and hunt for something either permanent remote or located up here. Either way, it makes me really nervous to blow money on luxuries.
I’d try to negotiate maybe a split office decision for you if that’s on the table. If it’s either come back yo the office or leave, run that proposal by your manager or HR. You know you don’t need the teet. I’d say offer them a 3 on 2 off and 2 on 3 off schedule (bi-weekly).

Worth it to have a longer commute for those few days if you don’t have to do it 5 days a week. Maybe BnB at a place so you have a place to crash if you work long hours
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Detroit wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:42 am
Johnny_P wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 6:54 am @chris

With no kids, you two are skipping an absolutely retarded amount of money being lit on fire. Even with only one income, I think you have plenty of bandwidth to live however you want to. If that's a simple life with $6k used Camrys then that's cool. If that means you lease a new 911 for 3 years because fuck it, then that's cool too.
The biggest question is income in the long term. Our move north could have a very drastic impact on my earnings potential. I'm 100% ok with that, and decided to move with that in mind, but that also means more caution is required...at least for the next year or so until I know what's going to happen with my existing job.

I figure there's a 50/50 chance of me staying in my current job WFH for the long run or taking some time off to figure things out and hunt for something either permanent remote or located up here. Either way, it makes me really nervous to blow money on luxuries.
How far are you from the office at the moment ?
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D Griff wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 10:44 am
Detroit wrote: Tue Oct 13, 2020 8:48 pm Kids would change the equation greatly. What I'm doing is admittedly very selfish and not what the masses would consider responsible. But I've never wanted kids, married a woman who feels the same and made choices in life to enable my selfish lifestyle.

But the real point I struggle with is "live a little". I almost view choices to forego fancy material things in the pursuit of freedom from normal life bullshit as "living a lot", not "a little". Traditional retirement schemes, property ladder bullshit, and college savings accounts don't have to apply to everyone. it's a big choice that I'm not taking lightly, and also why I'm torturing the car spending so much. Other than the house, it's the highest dollar purchase decision we make and I'm trying to be smart with weighing the balance between TRUE wants and needs.
Counter point: having kids is the most selfish thing one could ever do. I'm not saying that I look down on it, I'll likely have one or two myself, but "doing you" is just fine and shouldn't come with any guilt. We are selfish beings. Many work long hours at miserable jobs to buy stupid shit to make themselves happy. Others pursue kids to seek happiness. Neither one is really right/wrong, we all have our own goals.

I think your current path is impressive and I would love to be on it, but my wife is really not similar and I feel like she has just gotten way more into buying shit as time has gone on/we've had more money. It is a weird thing to watch, I've only been married for (almost) a year but we are both very different people than we were a couple of years back, I guess that's what makes it a challenge.

Re: cars, I am with you. I really enjoy having the Corvette, it is cheap/paid off, not much to insure, I don't care about it to the point of it adding any stress to my life, and it gets me where I need reliably when I need a car. I spend a fair amount doing track shit, but that doesn't really have anything to do with the car itself. I don't think I'd be any happier with a 997 or something like that. Sure, it is a better car, nicer inside, more performance, etc. but at the end of the day, both that and the POS C5 are a lot of fun and the C5 costs a tiny fraction and generates no stress for me if it's left sitting outside or on the street outside of a bar overnight, and I don't care when I pick up rock chips at the track.
Kids vs no kids can be viewed as selfish either way. It's really a personal choice between a couple and IDGAF what choice makes you happy. I just know that for us, kids would never have enhanced any aspect of our lives, it's just not for us. I will say that once my wife's sister popped out twins, my wife has shown a lot more interest in being involved with their lives, maybe it's a surrogate for us not having our own. But I don't mind being the cool aunt and uncle that spoil their niece and nephew, it might be the best way for us to stay connected with the reality of the world and families.

My experience is that you need to figure out what consumption level makes the most sense for you. This time last year, we were making nearly double what we make now HHI, had the fancy house, buying shit like crazy, going out all the time...the ideal life for many. But the tough reality is we were both ultimately miserable. My wife HATED her job...it consumed her life and I felt like she was never happy. I wasn't doing much better as my job move, while lucrative, turned out to be a big steaming pile of misery. But we had all this money that we were nearly killing ourselves for, so consumption made the most sense!

Then the wife lost her job when her company went bankrupt, and I wasn't forced into the office to deal with my misery head on for 10-12 hours a day every day. She got happier, I got happier, and we naturally started buying less. Partially because of the income hit, but partially because we just didn't want stuff. Then once the move north presented itself and we tried out a really frugal life, we both realized how well it works for us and it's probably our best way forward. But we had to experience both to decide IMO. You'll probably go through the same. You might end up enjoying spending the fruits of your labor, there's nothing wrong with that IMO. Different strokes keep the world going around.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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razr390 wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:46 am
Detroit wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 11:42 am
The biggest question is income in the long term. Our move north could have a very drastic impact on my earnings potential. I'm 100% ok with that, and decided to move with that in mind, but that also means more caution is required...at least for the next year or so until I know what's going to happen with my existing job.

I figure there's a 50/50 chance of me staying in my current job WFH for the long run or taking some time off to figure things out and hunt for something either permanent remote or located up here. Either way, it makes me really nervous to blow money on luxuries.
I’d try to negotiate maybe a split office decision for you if that’s on the table. If it’s either come back yo the office or leave, run that proposal by your manager or HR. You know you don’t need the teet. I’d say offer them a 3 on 2 off and 2 on 3 off schedule (bi-weekly).

Worth it to have a longer commute for those few days if you don’t have to do it 5 days a week. Maybe BnB at a place so you have a place to crash if you work long hours
Yea, we'll see. The company we're merging with has already announced permanent WFH in Europe with a "come in only as needed" basis. Any and all forcing to come in has been abolished, and on average an employee should spend no more than 1 day per week in the office. I think there's a very decent chance of that happening here post merger in Q1, but who knows until it happens. I'd be happy to keep that work arrangement if it came to fruition, but my bosses are ridiculously old school and I could see them ignoring mandates and forcing us in full time anyway, to which I'd just :nope:

I'm 3 hours from the office. My mom lives 15 minutes from the office, so I have a place to stay when I come down if I have a long day. She's actually been asking me "when will you be coming back into the office?!" in the regular as I think she really wants me to stay with her. Would be great to really reconnect with her TBH. Also have a ton of friends that have openly offered me spare bedrooms, so there's really no huge concern with me going down...I just hate the place, the people, and my job, so the WFH buffer has saved my employment.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Oh damn 3 hrs... we moved pretty far as well.. I am about 50 min outside of the office for now.
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max225 wrote: Wed Oct 14, 2020 12:00 pm Oh damn 3 hrs... we moved pretty far as well.. I am about 50 min outside of the office for now.
Yea, moved really far. Most of Michigan sucks, especially the south particularly around Detroit. Gotta go north to find the cool stuff.

As I said, I'm not going to let a job I hate at a company I hate rule my life anymore.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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