Cabin in the Woods: Midlife Crisis Thread

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Life has treated me really well. Can't complain about anything really. Steady income, great house, etc. Work lately has been insane recently. My most recent job move has given me mixed feelings, but the strongest are...

I've worked 10-12 hour days almost every day for the last 3 weeks. Stress is off the charts, and it's mostly all just corporate my path upward is just more of the same. Same thing I saw at my last company. Been at the corp rat race now for 6 years and it just keeps getting worse. Before that, I worked for smaller companies that were better, but I digress.

I'm really comfortable now, don't really "need" more money because what I value way more is time. All I feel like I do is work...no time to enjoy anything... particularly the fruits of my labors. So again

I'm in a unique position where the wife feels exactly the same. We're never having kids (we made sure of that biologically between the both of us), and we've decided that the house while nice and we love it, is a huge expense and maintenance item further preventing us from enjoying what little time we have.

We are very very very seriously considering calling it quits.

We love a city in northern MI...Traverse City, where we could buy a decent small house cash from the proceeds of our current house sale, then work jobs that we don't really feel that invested in or care much about moving up in. Hagerty...the classic car insurance company is HQ there, and I've been in talks with their HR department about a basic marketing gig. Would pay a little under half of what I make now, but without a mortgage, what do you really "need" to be happy?

This would put us in an area where we have direct and easy access to the activities we love to do, and take us out of the corp rat race garbage. Working for a small company that closely aligns with my values would rock, and I really think I'd enjoy the work.

This all started from friends we have about our age who did this exact thing 3 years ago. They're like different people now. They look better, seem (and claim to be) way happier, they can't recommend the move enough. We're pretty close to thinking that it could work really well for us.

So that's my current midlife crisis, if you can call it that. Might just be a life direction change. Anyone else have similar feels?

Oh, and obviously.

[max225]

Life has treated me really well. Can't complain about anything really. Steady income, great house, etc. Work lately has been insane recently. My most recent job move has given me mixed feelings, but the strongest are...

I've worked 10-12 hour days almost every day for the last 3 weeks. Stress is off the charts, and it's mostly all just corporate my path upward is just more of the same. Same thing I saw at my last company. Been at the corp rat race now for 6 years and it just keeps getting worse. Before that, I worked for smaller companies that were better, but I digress.

I'm really comfortable now, don't really "need" more money because what I value way more is time. All I feel like I do is work...no time to enjoy anything... particularly the fruits of my labors. So again

I'm in a unique position where the wife feels exactly the same. We're never having kids (we made sure of that biologically between the both of us), and we've decided that the house while nice and we love it, is a huge expense and maintenance item further preventing us from enjoying what little time we have.

We are very very very seriously considering calling it quits.

We love a city in northern MI...Traverse City, where we could buy a decent small house cash from the proceeds of our current house sale, then work jobs that we don't really feel that invested in or care much about moving up in. Hagerty...the classic car insurance company is HQ there, and I've been in talks with their HR department about a basic marketing gig. Would pay a little under half of what I make now, but without a mortgage, what do you really "need" to be happy?

This would put us in an area where we have direct and easy access to the activities we love to do, and take us out of the corp rat race garbage. Working for a small company that closely aligns with my values would rock, and I really think I'd enjoy the work.

This all started from friends we have about our age who did this exact thing 3 years ago. They're like different people now. They look better, seem (and claim to be) way happier, they can't recommend the move enough. We're pretty close to thinking that it could work really well for us.

So that's my current midlife crisis, if you can call it that. Might just be a life direction change. Anyone else have similar feels?

Oh, and obviously.

Right makes perfect sense, I have been in corporate for the last 14 years... It always goes in waves but overall things are certainly getting more and more stressful the higher up you go. yea yea that money grows on trees and daddy placed me in those roles blah blah.

That said... "living below ones means" is key, and striking that balance. I have literally been thinking along the near identical paths... Going to Timbuk2 or whatever and setting up a small Finance/Advisory gig to help locals. I am fully aware that it would pay shit, but I would get out of this epic rat race, that requires 1.5 M to buy a fking house.

The questions are plentiful...

1.Sustainability ? Are you sure those gigs will be around long enough to allow you to maintain your standard of living?
2. Are you sure you are willing to move to a place as such and are you sure you won't get bored? What will occupy your time? Seems like the marketing gig is still a full time job? So are you sure you're not just trading one thing for something else?
3. is always a wild card... their brains are wired wrong, yours in particular seems to be really quick to jump the gun on a 3 some, new car, new house or whatever you name it... That scares me a bit... because 2 months into the Cabin in the woods and you being happy, she could hit you with the whole "THIS WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE" Natedog style... so you gotta be sure she in it with you 100% since you two are a unit.... Also didn't she just start working, for the 3 some candidate ? She was :pinterest: ing for a few years in detroit right?

But good start to a discussion... I was lately following this rando dude on Youtube from Hurricane/Utah that just goes out and tows 's out of a ditch... That's sort of what I am fantasizing about.

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Life has treated me really well. Can't complain about anything really. Steady income, great house, etc. Work lately has been insane recently. My most recent job move has given me mixed feelings, but the strongest are...

I've worked 10-12 hour days almost every day for the last 3 weeks. Stress is off the charts, and it's mostly all just corporate my path upward is just more of the same. Same thing I saw at my last company. Been at the corp rat race now for 6 years and it just keeps getting worse. Before that, I worked for smaller companies that were better, but I digress.

I'm really comfortable now, don't really "need" more money because what I value way more is time. All I feel like I do is work...no time to enjoy anything... particularly the fruits of my labors. So again

I'm in a unique position where the wife feels exactly the same. We're never having kids (we made sure of that biologically between the both of us), and we've decided that the house while nice and we love it, is a huge expense and maintenance item further preventing us from enjoying what little time we have.

We are very very very seriously considering calling it quits.

We love a city in northern MI...Traverse City, where we could buy a decent small house cash from the proceeds of our current house sale, then work jobs that we don't really feel that invested in or care much about moving up in. Hagerty...the classic car insurance company is HQ there, and I've been in talks with their HR department about a basic marketing gig. Would pay a little under half of what I make now, but without a mortgage, what do you really "need" to be happy?

This would put us in an area where we have direct and easy access to the activities we love to do, and take us out of the corp rat race garbage. Working for a small company that closely aligns with my values would rock, and I really think I'd enjoy the work.

This all started from friends we have about our age who did this exact thing 3 years ago. They're like different people now. They look better, seem (and claim to be) way happier, they can't recommend the move enough. We're pretty close to thinking that it could work really well for us.

So that's my current midlife crisis, if you can call it that. Might just be a life direction change. Anyone else have similar feels?

Oh, and obviously.

Right makes perfect sense, I have been in corporate for the last 14 years... It always goes in waves but overall things are certainly getting more and more stressful the higher up you go. yea yea that money grows on trees and daddy placed me in those roles blah blah.

That said... "living below ones means" is key, and striking that balance. I have literally been thinking along the near identical paths... Going to Timbuk2 or whatever and setting up a small Finance/Advisory gig to help locals. I am fully aware that it would pay shit, but I would get out of this epic rat race, that requires 1.5 M to buy a fking house.

The questions are plentiful...

1.Sustainability ? Are you sure those gigs will be around long enough to allow you to maintain your standard of living?
2. Are you sure you are willing to move to a place as such and are you sure you won't get bored? What will occupy your time? Seems like the marketing gig is still a full time job? So are you sure you're not just trading one thing for something else?
3. is always a wild card... their brains are wired wrong, yours in particular seems to be really quick to jump the gun on a 3 some, new car, new house or whatever you name it... That scares me a bit... because 2 months into the Cabin in the woods and you being happy, she could hit you with the whole "THIS WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE" Natedog style... so you gotta be sure she in it with you 100% since you two are a unit.... Also didn't she just start working, for the 3 some candidate ? She was :pinterest: ing for a few years in detroit right?

But good start to a discussion... I was lately following this rando dude on Youtube from Hurricane/Utah that just goes out and tows 's out of a ditch... That's sort of what I am fantasizing about.

Dude that's my favorite YouTube channel right now! Holy shit twins.

The job I'd take is way below my capability. And I'd stay there for lack of stress. That's what my friend does that lives up there. He said he's turned down director level promotions because he wants to come in at 8 and leave at 4 every day AND DOES. Thought about the paint store (best job I ever had), working at Ace hardware, or working as a tow truck driver yanking s out of ditches.

new company is a shit show. Legit just filed for Chapter 11 today. "Company will be stronger in the end"

She's doing the job of what used to be 3 account managers. She's been traveling non stop and claims to already be fried. I don't doubt that she is.

Because it's a big deal, we're really going to take it slow. See if the jobs level out a bit, then decide. We can't sell our house until a year from now, I refuse to pay what could be substantial capital gains, so we'll be here for a bit.

This isn't 100% out of the blue either. We've been talking about it for years, and just recently realized that we could make it happen.

[max225]

Right makes perfect sense, I have been in corporate for the last 14 years... It always goes in waves but overall things are certainly getting more and more stressful the higher up you go. yea yea that money grows on trees and daddy placed me in those roles blah blah.

That said... "living below ones means" is key, and striking that balance. I have literally been thinking along the near identical paths... Going to Timbuk2 or whatever and setting up a small Finance/Advisory gig to help locals. I am fully aware that it would pay shit, but I would get out of this epic rat race, that requires 1.5 M to buy a fking house.

The questions are plentiful...

1.Sustainability ? Are you sure those gigs will be around long enough to allow you to maintain your standard of living?
2. Are you sure you are willing to move to a place as such and are you sure you won't get bored? What will occupy your time? Seems like the marketing gig is still a full time job? So are you sure you're not just trading one thing for something else?
3. is always a wild card... their brains are wired wrong, yours in particular seems to be really quick to jump the gun on a 3 some, new car, new house or whatever you name it... That scares me a bit... because 2 months into the Cabin in the woods and you being happy, she could hit you with the whole "THIS WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE" Natedog style... so you gotta be sure she in it with you 100% since you two are a unit.... Also didn't she just start working, for the 3 some candidate ? She was :pinterest: ing for a few years in detroit right?

But good start to a discussion... I was lately following this rando dude on Youtube from Hurricane/Utah that just goes out and tows 's out of a ditch... That's sort of what I am fantasizing about.

Dude that's my favorite YouTube channel right now! Holy shit twins.

The job I'd take is way below my capability. And I'd stay there for lack of stress. That's what my friend does that lives up there. He said he's turned down director level promotions because he wants to come in at 8 and leave at 4 every day AND DOES. Thought about the paint store (best job I ever had), working at Ace hardware, or working as a tow truck driver yanking s out of ditches.

new company is a shit show. Legit just filed for Chapter 11 today. "Company will be stronger in the end"

She's doing the job of what used to be 3 account managers. She's been traveling non stop and claims to already be fried. I don't doubt that she is.

Because it's a big deal, we're really going to take it slow. See if the jobs level out a bit, then decide. We can't sell our house until a year from now, I refuse to pay what could be substantial capital gains, so we'll be here for a bit.

This isn't 100% out of the blue either. We've been talking about it for years, and just recently realized that we could make it happen.

I would probably see if you two can set up some sort of small business... that allows for both passive income and low stress. That is really tough to find

I do think if you have 500-750k saved up it would allow for at least a few years of 'ing until you figure out what is best for y'all. It would also allow for a small business purchase/start. Ideally purchase since starting one is a nightmare.

Dude how the Fk is that company in Chapter 11? 3 some Porsche lady losing her job? or do they all get to keep lavish pay while tax payers bail em out

And on the Youtubezzz... That's some rando shit

[Tar]

How much is the mortgage piece monthly? Can you not just cut back the hours?

[max225]

How much is the mortgage piece monthly? Can you not just cut back the hours?

Have you ever worked for corporate? Cut down on hours... ?

[Tar]

How much is the mortgage piece monthly? Can you not just cut back the hours?

Have you ever worked for corporate? Cut down on hours... ?

Never worked at a head office corporate center but I've watched FCA employees drag their feet through 40 hour work weeks for years without getting shit canned when visiting the manufacturing plants. They don't expect a raise or promotion but that's not the goal.

I guess each position has it's own expectations, is marketing that busy of a department?

[goIftdibrad]

Anyone else have similar feels?

1000%

[troyguitar]

Have you ever worked for corporate? Cut down on hours... ?

Never worked at a head office corporate center but I've watched FCA employees drag their feet through 40 hour work weeks for years without getting shit canned when visiting the manufacturing plants. They don't expect a raise or promotion but that's not the goal.

I guess each position has it's own expectations, is marketing that busy of a department?

doesn't inflate himself.

[Tar]

Never worked at a head office corporate center but I've watched FCA employees drag their feet through 40 hour work weeks for years without getting shit canned when visiting the manufacturing plants. They don't expect a raise or promotion but that's not the goal.

I guess each position has it's own expectations, is marketing that busy of a department?

doesn't inflate himself.

[max225]

Have you ever worked for corporate? Cut down on hours... ?

Never worked at a head office corporate center but I've watched FCA employees drag their feet through 40 hour work weeks for years without getting shit canned when visiting the manufacturing plants. They don't expect a raise or promotion but that's not the goal.

I guess each position has it's own expectations, is marketing that busy of a department?

It really depends... they can be and I suspect at jeep they are as this is a global brand

[SAWCE]

If you can afford it, I’d absolutely do it. I’m I’d love to live like that away from people and the rat race.

[razr390]

Traverse City seems real nice. I’ve never been but GF and I worked at this hospitality training company back in college that would have contracts to rate the hotels in the area based on mystery shopping and whatnot.

The idea isn’t even lost on me as a 25 year old. I’ve had a major existential crisis when crotchfruit was in the oven and I would wonder what is the course for this sort of pace/rate not just for myself but for our society the world feels SUPER small if you are plugged into social media and news and I sort of get a comfort in knowing it’s actually still very big and spread out. I wouldn’t mind working a menial job but I’m not at the place where I’m comfortable to do that just yet.

That being said, I think if you have the means to do so it wouldn’t be a bad time. Even if it’s not the permanent solution, at least you can live without the ragert if wondering what if?

Can you in theory rent your place to cover mortgage in case y’all don’t like the whole drop everything and go off the grid shit?

[razr390]

If you can afford it, I’d absolutely do it. I’m I’d love to live like that away from people and the rat race.

Honestly as cliché as it sounds you are a very passionate dude. Invest some time in making a public facing social media platform and maybe a YouTube channel about bodybuilding, how to’s etc.

[Johnny_P]

1000%

I'm caught in this mental urge to always keep climbing, but sometimes I just want a basic 9-5 and no real cares.

I'd love to move to Maine or somewhere more rural and not have any overhead and just exist.

Some friends of mine did that. He’s a freelance web developer and she does uh... consulting or something I don’t know. They are living it up totally stress free.

[Johnny_P]

Yeah man fuck the shit show. Life is what you make it to be.

I’m only in my job because I’m not convinced I could easily get a different one. And don’t have 5 years living expense saved for Lisa and I.

[Johnny_P]

DM me if you wanna chat or something but this is the shit I went through last year. To the T.

[SAWCE]

If you can afford it, I’d absolutely do it. I’m I’d love to live like that away from people and the rat race.

Honestly as cliché as it sounds you are a very passionate dude. Invest some time in making a public facing social media platform and maybe a YouTube channel about bodybuilding, how to’s etc.

Thanks man. I’ve thought about it, but it’s such a saturated market that I think I’m too late for something like that. I’m also more driven by producing something tangible. I don’t think I’d feel satisfied if I was just cranking out YouTube videos and Instagram posts and making money from them. I know I don’t personally produce anything right now, but I at least get some sense of that when I’m walking through the shipyard and seeing what we’re building and knowing I’m at least contributing to that.

[razr390]

Honestly as cliché as it sounds you are a very passionate dude. Invest some time in making a public facing social media platform and maybe a YouTube channel about bodybuilding, how to’s etc.

Thanks man. I’ve thought about it, but it’s such a saturated market that I think I’m too late for something like that. I’m also more driven by producing something tangible. I don’t think I’d feel satisfied if I was just cranking out YouTube videos and Instagram posts and making money from them. I know I don’t personally produce anything right now, but I at least get some sense of that when I’m walking through the shipyard and seeing what we’re building and knowing I’m at least contributing to that.

Totally get it. I think it’s definitely saturated (youtube market) but at the same time people pop up out of nowhere (Ninja dude playing fortnite making $750k/month from sponsorships) so I don’t really think it’s terrible, I think you just have to find a niche and make your mark. FWIW most bodybuilding gym shit on YouTube seems to be from guys that have borderline double digit IQ and they try to sell you on some workout regime paywall book shit. If you genuinely did more of a bodybuilding vlog and maybe more of a hey I’m here to help you while you watch my gains as motivation.



But yeah I definitely see the tangible aspect. I am very much like that as well

[Tar]

Sucks man, being trapped like that sucks. Project related assignments are an instant justification for corps to do what they want with manpower. It would be nice to out for sure!

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Corp life is just misery...worst here because my mgmt is completely inept and waits to the last minute to build LITERALLY 500 page powerpoint presentations that results in my working 12 hour days for months on end. It's misery, and I really have no interest in climbing in this mess. It just keeps getting worse the higher I go.

I'd love to start my own business, but I have no idea what I'd do. I'd love to just start pulling s out of ditches like our man Matt, but that's not realistic. I'd love to consult in some way...help local business with marketing strategy or something, but that would be a long process to build up.

Not really at a point where we have year's worth of living expenses paid. 2 years at most without a mortgage. But the point wouldn't be to just move up there and sit, it would be to buy a small house cash and work basic jobs to meet our newly simplified standard of living. We've realized that we don't "need" a lot. Did the rough math, we could easily live on $100k combined, which wouldn't be out of the question with both of us working simple jobs. The recruiter I'm talking to has indicated that I'd be around $70k for a basic analyst job, which would be perfect for me and what I want. I can spin numbers all day in excel ZFG.

Most of the shit we buy and do is just to make up for the misery we're experiencing day-to-day. A roof over my head, a pair of kayaks, a mountain bike, a camper, and a is all I really need and I've got all that (well, the truck would turn into something significantly cheaper, that's the only fancy thing I'd miss).

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Yeah man fuck the shit show. Life is what you make it to be.

I’m only in my job because I’m not convinced I could easily get a different one. And don’t have 5 years living expense saved for Lisa and I.

[ChrisoftheNorth]

Never worked at a head office corporate center but I've watched FCA employees drag their feet through 40 hour work weeks for years without getting shit canned when visiting the manufacturing plants. They don't expect a raise or promotion but that's not the goal.

I guess each position has it's own expectations, is marketing that busy of a department?

doesn't inflate himself.

What's weird is I work in product planning. I have zero to do with I spend all day working with engineers to make sure products aren't shitty. That proves to be a disaster here unfortunately.

[goIftdibrad]

Part of my problem with job is that I'm simply not challenged. I push paper and fill in Excel. I rarely math, I don't really design, it's mostly just pushing paper. Why do engineers do this? Like i could supervise a group of business school people to do 90% of this and just do technical checks.


Alas, I'd much rather just go derp a job and live where I want on some level. If be happy being the manger of a jiffy lube or autoparts store. I could also be happy doing more meaningful engineer work.

[ChrisoftheNorth]

How much is the mortgage piece monthly? Can you not just cut back the hours?

All-in mortgage is 34% of take home income. And that's paying $200 extra toward principle per month and an extra full payment toward principle per year. That said, we could cut our mortgage piece down, but I have us on track to pay it off in ~20 years. Set that plan up when we first moved in and decided this would be our "forever" home.

That's the other part of this.

I actually love our house and area, so we could just kill ourselves for the next 20 years and retire at 55 with no mortgage and way more cash than if we moved up north. Then we could live like kings...just not sure I'll make it 20 years.