How :poor: were you?
- SAWCE
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We grew up pretty poor too. 6 kids with dad making 40-50k most of our childhood, commuting an hour each way to/from work. Mom did odd jobs to help out, teach piano and swim lessons, etc. but couldn’t work full time baize there was always a young kid at home needing to be looked after and day care was too expensive. Once my youngest sister was in school mom would work as a substitute teacher occasionally. And actually now I’m just realizing that my dad was doing that too for extra income. He worked a 9/80 schedule and would substitute teach on his off fridays. We grew up in a small 1100ish sqft house, 3 beds, 2 baths. Parents had their room, and then we slept 3 to a bedroom. Things were tight, but they always provided what we needed and we found cheap activities to do as a family.
I am always when my fiancee pays for stuff for her sister... which is often. Hell we blew $1600 on flights for them for our wedding. Oh well.max225 wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 5:49 pmFuck em that's their problem. having this battle with the AZN at the moment.troyguitar wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 5:46 pm No telling if or when that will happen. They give away a lot of money to charity and the fucking church, plus there are siblings and extended family who are worse off than us, plus... Her grandmother turned 96 last week and is still in pretty good health. There's likely to be a LONG time before we might see anything at all.
In the meantime I expect to have to support my mom starting in the next 20 or so years, plus possibly my dad if he keeps blowing money on boats, plus my sister's 2 kids really need a ton of help that she can never afford so in theory I should do that for her.
I had it pretty easy growing up... My dad had two kids from a previous marriage prior to marrying my mom and having my sister and I, so at one point we had six people in our 1600 square foot house (lived in the same place age 0-18). The half siblings had some issues due to their mom being a piece of shite and ultimately passing away, sadly to this day they still struggle to a degree but things have gotten better. My dad's income probably averaged around $40K, there were a few rough years of lost jobs and stuff but overall we got by just fine, not rich, not poor. My mom stayed home initially with the four kids and eventually started her own business as an editor and writing coach, which paid nothing at first but started to flourish around my late teens. She now does pretty well for herself with it and my dad teaches graphic arts at a local community college (he was a printer by trade, trained in the army).
I went to University of Miami for undergrad, parents helped with my living expenses some, tuition was paid for with tuba scholarshit and loans, plus I worked always from 15 on. By the second half of undergrad I had a pretty good biz going as a live sound mixer making like $25-50/hour in 2009, was able to rack in like $30K/year part time. After school I got a salary job making like $35K... not great but I got by, I had $30K in school debt and bought a new GTI stupidly, but it was OK. Looking back I didn't make great financial decisions, but who does at 22/23?
Today I make probably what the two of my parents make combined or close to it. They live a somewhat simple but good life and they, myself, and my sister all have way more than we did back then, so that's good.
I went to University of Miami for undergrad, parents helped with my living expenses some, tuition was paid for with tuba scholarshit and loans, plus I worked always from 15 on. By the second half of undergrad I had a pretty good biz going as a live sound mixer making like $25-50/hour in 2009, was able to rack in like $30K/year part time. After school I got a salary job making like $35K... not great but I got by, I had $30K in school debt and bought a new GTI stupidly, but it was OK. Looking back I didn't make great financial decisions, but who does at 22/23?
Today I make probably what the two of my parents make combined or close to it. They live a somewhat simple but good life and they, myself, and my sister all have way more than we did back then, so that's good.
I think this is kinda like the high school reunion, only those who were successful will show up. Only those who were low-middle class and below will want to brag about it
- ChrisoftheNorth
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Yea, I refuse to pay anything for anyone else. Especially siblings who had all the same opportunities as I did.
I suspect we're going to end up supporting my wife's parents at some point. Her sister claims to be rich AF, but has twins now, so their funds are being funneled to that. They think we live in a trailer in BFE MI (because nothing outside of CA and NY is civilized), but her mom just visited and now knows better. "This house would be $3M in Orange County!" she exclaimed.
Part of why I'm considering pulling the rip cord. If we don't have much disposable income, we can't blow money on family members that failed to plan properly.
- troyguitar
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Kids didn't choose to have morans for parents and I don't know what else to say to my mom. She works hard and gets shit on for it instead of rewarded...
- Desertbreh
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Waxer is a self made brother from top to bottom....he's no fortunate son of a fortunate son.
- Desertbreh
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Yeah wow man, these stories. I guess I'm lucky? Father deceased, mother FULLY planned for, mega elite plan for assisted living, already picked her future old folks home, etc. Wife's parents deceased. 3 siblings in play, everyone doing great/manning their post. Troy, it sounds like your mom needed a better divorce lawyer. She should have a chunk of your dad's GM retirement. If you're broke and cannot afford retirement in California, it may be time to check the housing market in Sioux City and buy some flannel underwear.Detroit wrote: ↑Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:11 pmYea, I refuse to pay anything for anyone else. Especially siblings who had all the same opportunities as I did.
I suspect we're going to end up supporting my wife's parents at some point. Her sister claims to be rich AF, but has twins now, so their funds are being funneled to that. They think we live in a trailer in BFE MI (because nothing outside of CA and NY is civilized), but her mom just visited and now knows better. "This house would be $3M in Orange County!" she exclaimed.
Part of why I'm considering pulling the rip cord. If we don't have much disposable income, we can't blow money on family members that failed to plan properly.
Man, my half brother and sister... I don't think they'd ever take money from me but it's ... their mom was a total drunk and dided in her early mid thirties, they've never fully gotten going in life with any consistency. It's awkward as my sister (well, her husband) and I have been pretty successful financially. My half sis lives in the house we grew up in, my folks rent it to her for $800/month when it's worth 2X that... meanwhile they are trying to retire but will be pretty low income on my pop's pension, my mom will likely continue running her biz for a long time.Desertbreh wrote: ↑Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:44 pmYeah wow man, these stories. I guess I'm lucky? Father deceased, mother FULLY planned for, mega elite plan for assisted living, already picked her future old folks home, etc. Wife's parents deceased. 3 siblings in play, everyone doing great/manning their post. Troy, it sounds like your mom needed a better divorce lawyer. She should have a chunk of your dad's GM retirement. If you're broke and cannot afford retirement in California, it may be time to check the housing market in Sioux City and buy some flannel underwear.Detroit wrote: ↑Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:11 pm
Yea, I refuse to pay anything for anyone else. Especially siblings who had all the same opportunities as I did.
I suspect we're going to end up supporting my wife's parents at some point. Her sister claims to be rich AF, but has twins now, so their funds are being funneled to that. They think we live in a trailer in BFE MI (because nothing outside of CA and NY is civilized), but her mom just visited and now knows better. "This house would be $3M in Orange County!" she exclaimed.
Part of why I'm considering pulling the rip cord. If we don't have much disposable income, we can't blow money on family members that failed to plan properly.
The fiancee's sister is similar to my half bro and sis, she suffered a lot of addiction issues and is better now but works labor and has CF. Fortunately fiancee's dad at least seems to have some dough and a fuckload of land. Her mom is also very poor though.
- fledonfoot
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Moved to the US at 15 with my parents. Dad was an engineer with prior experience in government Defense works in the U.K. and ended up with a civilian contractor in charge of a guidance control system for NASA. Contractor folded and Dad lost his job on 9/11/01 as the world was falling apart. At that point we had until 10/31 to get out of the country.
I had just started at Rutgers (2 weeks in), but being a non citizen the tuition was insane... but we were fortunate enough to afford it. Going back to the U.K. at that time meant I would have had to re-do the last 3 years of schooling to have any kind of diploma equivalent, due to the way the education system works there. I made the call to stay in the US, applied for a student visa, transferred out of Rutgers to the local community college that could transfer credit back. Moved in to a shitty 2 bed apartment in a dumpy drug infested complex with a friend, and proceeded to live for the next two years on $15k/yr... the international student rate
Stressed out and missing my family, ended up failing three classes and couldn’t graduate with my associates on time. Ended up extending my student visa and getting an under the table job to pay for the classes, working in construction. I started making decent money swinging hammers, and pushed the limits of my visa and took as few credits as possible and worked as much as I could. Money was new to me, and living even slightly over federal poverty level was nice.
Wife and I ended up getting married at this point, having been together since high school. I tried to get caught up at school but ended up working a bunch to pay rent/bills, as my fuckup in school blew the budget we had for me to stay here. Back in the U.K. my parents never landed jobs of the same caliber and ended up with a massive pay cut, and couldn’t afford a penny over what we set aside when they left.
Ultimately I pushed the student visa as much as I could, but had to work too much to be able to go back to school, and was racking up massive debt. So after being married for a year I applied for permanent residency.
I worked in construction making shit money until permanent residency came through and could join the real work force. Got a job with a better company making $15/hr and moved to a nicer town in an $800 apartment. Got hurt on the job and couldn’t swing hammers anymore. Ended up in car sales with Toyota just as the economy shit the bed, and barely broke $35k for my 3 years in sales. Decent money for where I came from, but still shit In the big picture.
Got a shot to go to service, and within 3 years doubled my money. Finally rebuilt my credit and started paying off all the debt, which rivaled what many people have as student loan debt... only with 20% apr.
Having finally paid it off, we bought a house. New cars. Bikes. More cars. Started traveling. Spent money. Had fun... because fuck me we’d never had it before and we fucking deserve it while we can swing it. We still put some money aside and learned our lessons from having to pay it off.
Became established with Toyota dealer, and rode that wave for another 5 years or so, and jumped over to Porsche. I just took the leap back to my old home at Toyota and took the step up to Service Manager. For a community college dropout fuckup, I think I’ve turned this shit around.
I had just started at Rutgers (2 weeks in), but being a non citizen the tuition was insane... but we were fortunate enough to afford it. Going back to the U.K. at that time meant I would have had to re-do the last 3 years of schooling to have any kind of diploma equivalent, due to the way the education system works there. I made the call to stay in the US, applied for a student visa, transferred out of Rutgers to the local community college that could transfer credit back. Moved in to a shitty 2 bed apartment in a dumpy drug infested complex with a friend, and proceeded to live for the next two years on $15k/yr... the international student rate
Stressed out and missing my family, ended up failing three classes and couldn’t graduate with my associates on time. Ended up extending my student visa and getting an under the table job to pay for the classes, working in construction. I started making decent money swinging hammers, and pushed the limits of my visa and took as few credits as possible and worked as much as I could. Money was new to me, and living even slightly over federal poverty level was nice.
Wife and I ended up getting married at this point, having been together since high school. I tried to get caught up at school but ended up working a bunch to pay rent/bills, as my fuckup in school blew the budget we had for me to stay here. Back in the U.K. my parents never landed jobs of the same caliber and ended up with a massive pay cut, and couldn’t afford a penny over what we set aside when they left.
Ultimately I pushed the student visa as much as I could, but had to work too much to be able to go back to school, and was racking up massive debt. So after being married for a year I applied for permanent residency.
I worked in construction making shit money until permanent residency came through and could join the real work force. Got a job with a better company making $15/hr and moved to a nicer town in an $800 apartment. Got hurt on the job and couldn’t swing hammers anymore. Ended up in car sales with Toyota just as the economy shit the bed, and barely broke $35k for my 3 years in sales. Decent money for where I came from, but still shit In the big picture.
Got a shot to go to service, and within 3 years doubled my money. Finally rebuilt my credit and started paying off all the debt, which rivaled what many people have as student loan debt... only with 20% apr.
Having finally paid it off, we bought a house. New cars. Bikes. More cars. Started traveling. Spent money. Had fun... because fuck me we’d never had it before and we fucking deserve it while we can swing it. We still put some money aside and learned our lessons from having to pay it off.
Became established with Toyota dealer, and rode that wave for another 5 years or so, and jumped over to Porsche. I just took the leap back to my old home at Toyota and took the step up to Service Manager. For a community college dropout fuckup, I think I’ve turned this shit around.
- razr390
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fledonfoot wrote: ↑Fri Oct 18, 2019 8:01 pm Moved to the US at 15 with my parents. Dad was an engineer with prior experience in government Defense works in the U.K. and ended up with a civilian contractor in charge of a guidance control system for NASA. Contractor folded and Dad lost his job on 9/11/01 as the world was falling apart. At that point we had until 10/31 to get out of the country.
I had just started at Rutgers (2 weeks in), but being a non citizen the tuition was insane... but we were fortunate enough to afford it. Going back to the U.K. at that time meant I would have had to re-do the last 3 years of schooling to have any kind of diploma equivalent, due to the way the education system works there. I made the call to stay in the US, applied for a student visa, transferred out of Rutgers to the local community college that could transfer credit back. Moved in to a shitty 2 bed apartment in a dumpy drug infested complex with a friend, and proceeded to live for the next two years on $15k/yr... the international student rate
Stressed out and missing my family, ended up failing three classes and couldn’t graduate with my associates on time. Ended up extending my student visa and getting an under the table job to pay for the classes, working in construction. I started making decent money swinging hammers, and pushed the limits of my visa and took as few credits as possible and worked as much as I could. Money was new to me, and living even slightly over federal poverty level was nice.
Wife and I ended up getting married at this point, having been together since high school. I tried to get caught up at school but ended up working a bunch to pay rent/bills, as my fuckup in school blew the budget we had for me to stay here. Back in the U.K. my parents never landed jobs of the same caliber and ended up with a massive pay cut, and couldn’t afford a penny over what we set aside when they left.
Ultimately I pushed the student visa as much as I could, but had to work too much to be able to go back to school, and was racking up massive debt. So after being married for a year I applied for permanent residency.
I worked in construction making shit money until permanent residency came through and could join the real work force. Got a job with a better company making $15/hr and moved to a nicer town in an $800 apartment. Got hurt on the job and couldn’t swing hammers anymore. Ended up in car sales with Toyota just as the economy shit the bed, and barely broke $35k for my 3 years in sales. Decent money for where I came from, but still shit In the big picture.
Got a shot to go to service, and within 3 years doubled my money. Finally rebuilt my credit and started paying off all the debt, which rivaled what many people have as student loan debt... only with 20% apr.
Having finally paid it off, we bought a house. New cars. Bikes. More cars. Started traveling. Spent money. Had fun... because fuck me we’d never had it before and we fucking deserve it while we can swing it. We still put some money aside and learned our lessons from having to pay it off.
Became established with Toyota dealer, and rode that wave for another 5 years or so, and jumped over to Porsche. I just took the leap back to my old home at Toyota and took the step up to Service Manager. For a community college dropout fuckup, I think I’ve turned this shit around.
Desertbreh wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
- MexicanYarisTK
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That was a hell of a read and quite a long road.fledonfoot wrote: ↑Fri Oct 18, 2019 8:01 pm Moved to the US at 15 with my parents. Dad was an engineer with prior experience in government Defense works in the U.K. and ended up with a civilian contractor in charge of a guidance control system for NASA. Contractor folded and Dad lost his job on 9/11/01 as the world was falling apart. At that point we had until 10/31 to get out of the country.
I had just started at Rutgers (2 weeks in), but being a non citizen the tuition was insane... but we were fortunate enough to afford it. Going back to the U.K. at that time meant I would have had to re-do the last 3 years of schooling to have any kind of diploma equivalent, due to the way the education system works there. I made the call to stay in the US, applied for a student visa, transferred out of Rutgers to the local community college that could transfer credit back. Moved in to a shitty 2 bed apartment in a dumpy drug infested complex with a friend, and proceeded to live for the next two years on $15k/yr... the international student rate
Stressed out and missing my family, ended up failing three classes and couldn’t graduate with my associates on time. Ended up extending my student visa and getting an under the table job to pay for the classes, working in construction. I started making decent money swinging hammers, and pushed the limits of my visa and took as few credits as possible and worked as much as I could. Money was new to me, and living even slightly over federal poverty level was nice.
Wife and I ended up getting married at this point, having been together since high school. I tried to get caught up at school but ended up working a bunch to pay rent/bills, as my fuckup in school blew the budget we had for me to stay here. Back in the U.K. my parents never landed jobs of the same caliber and ended up with a massive pay cut, and couldn’t afford a penny over what we set aside when they left.
Ultimately I pushed the student visa as much as I could, but had to work too much to be able to go back to school, and was racking up massive debt. So after being married for a year I applied for permanent residency.
I worked in construction making shit money until permanent residency came through and could join the real work force. Got a job with a better company making $15/hr and moved to a nicer town in an $800 apartment. Got hurt on the job and couldn’t swing hammers anymore. Ended up in car sales with Toyota just as the economy shit the bed, and barely broke $35k for my 3 years in sales. Decent money for where I came from, but still shit In the big picture.
Got a shot to go to service, and within 3 years doubled my money. Finally rebuilt my credit and started paying off all the debt, which rivaled what many people have as student loan debt... only with 20% apr.
Having finally paid it off, we bought a house. New cars. Bikes. More cars. Started traveling. Spent money. Had fun... because fuck me we’d never had it before and we fucking deserve it while we can swing it. We still put some money aside and learned our lessons from having to pay it off.
Became established with Toyota dealer, and rode that wave for another 5 years or so, and jumped over to Porsche. I just took the leap back to my old home at Toyota and took the step up to Service Manager. For a community college dropout fuckup, I think I’ve turned this shit around.
Nephew of a a few first gen immigrant on DFD, resident turk, and ex nazi egg lover now driving a middle class mom mobile.
- fledonfoot
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That’s the short version.
- CaleDeRoo
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Grew up right in the middle. Dad worked at Kodak until 2003 ish as a machinist and has bounced around a couple times since, and mom worked for Monroe county as an accountant from age 19-54 when they asked her to retire. Failed put of expensive private middle school that my mom spent my college fund on, then after graduating high school my mom paid for me to try community college three times. I quit every time then took a c shift job at a call center to pay my way through trade school. I do ok, but sat on my ass and twiddled my thumbs at a racecar fabrication shop for two years longer than I should have so I actually consider myself two years behind where I feel I should be. Live and learn.
- razr390
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Desertbreh wrote: ↑Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
Smack in middle class here. My parents made horrendous financial decisions around when my older bro went to college, so basically paying for the mf by myself. Probably for the better in the long run I guess, life lesson. Love them, but financially they should be way better than they are...my in laws even more so. Is what it is -- we have big bills but we handle it. Life is way too short to worry until you cant put food on your plate.
- ChrisoftheNorth
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Some people just aren't cut out for school, and that's OK. I've watched my mother in law dump tens of thousands into my brother in law hoping he completes his degree. He keeps skipping classes and failing. Clearly not for him, he needs to take up a trade, but she views that as "failing" for some reason.CaleDeRoo wrote: ↑Sat Oct 19, 2019 2:46 am Grew up right in the middle. Dad worked at Kodak until 2003 ish as a machinist and has bounced around a couple times since, and mom worked for Monroe county as an accountant from age 19-54 when they asked her to retire. Failed put of expensive private middle school that my mom spent my college fund on, then after graduating high school my mom paid for me to try community college three times. I quit every time then took a c shift job at a call center to pay my way through trade school. I do ok, but sat on my ass and twiddled my thumbs at a racecar fabrication shop for two years longer than I should have so I actually consider myself two years behind where I feel I should be. Live and learn.
- goIftdibrad
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- ChrisoftheNorth
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- CaleDeRoo
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Sounds like his heart's not in it. How old is he? Maybe he needs to just get a full time job for a year or two so he can figure himself out.Detroit wrote: ↑Mon Oct 21, 2019 8:28 amSome people just aren't cut out for school, and that's OK. I've watched my mother in law dump tens of thousands into my brother in law hoping he completes his degree. He keeps skipping classes and failing. Clearly not for him, he needs to take up a trade, but she views that as "failing" for some reason.CaleDeRoo wrote: ↑Sat Oct 19, 2019 2:46 am Grew up right in the middle. Dad worked at Kodak until 2003 ish as a machinist and has bounced around a couple times since, and mom worked for Monroe county as an accountant from age 19-54 when they asked her to retire. Failed put of expensive private middle school that my mom spent my college fund on, then after graduating high school my mom paid for me to try community college three times. I quit every time then took a c shift job at a call center to pay my way through trade school. I do ok, but sat on my ass and twiddled my thumbs at a racecar fabrication shop for two years longer than I should have so I actually consider myself two years behind where I feel I should be. Live and learn.