Advice on how to kill that last remnants of my Soul.

Brothers of brub and brap, this is your safe space.
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Clownshoobie
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Whelp, it's finally happened: I didn't beat my wife and kids.

Back when I was interesting, and had a smidgen of automotive integrity, I'd happily eat my own liver before considering a SUV. When the subject arose at Chez Shoob, out came the switch. But goddamit if Andy Dufresne wasn't right. Time and pressure. Time and pressure. Now my Bride-n-Spawn have started convince me to to sell my Taco (2001, double cab, short bed, topper, 160K, some rust, never breaks, just goes and goes), and get a SUV for many reasons.

Despite being a well-versed car-guy, I don't know jack about SUVs, quite on purpose. I hate them. Nothing raises the bile more than a 110 lb. housefrau in a Range Rover, going to yoga class. So I ignore them. Now I need help. What should I look at? Here are my needs/constraints:

-I can probably get $5k for the Taco. I can spend about 8-10k on top of that, so budget $12 to $15K.
-Tow package
-3 rows of seats a plus
-Less than 100k miles a plus.

Help me brethren!
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goIftdibrad
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Honda Odyssey.
brain go brrrrrr
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troyguitar
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Full size van if you need to tow heavy shit. They're way cheaper than identical SUVs or pickups.
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ChrisoftheNorth
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[user not found] wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:10 am
troyguitar wrote:Full size van if you need to tow heavy shit. They're way cheaper than identical SUVs or pickups.
And look awesome lifted
Definitely. But way out of budget.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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goIftdibrad
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[user not found] wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:02 am Have you heard about our lord and savior, the Minivan?

:trollface:

If three rows are a must... and towing capability?

How much are we towing, here?
its built on the ridgeline chassis.... it can tow like 6k lbs. ZFG
brain go brrrrrr
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Acid666
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Rent it out to your local militias on the weekends for the drills and bunker prep.
:waxer: :caspian:


My buddy actually has a Hondy Odyssey. Fucking LOVES it. Before that he was trying to half adult/half brub by repeatedly shoving 2 kids under 5 years old into carseats in the back of a Boss 302. He got tired of bending over so much, and cleaning up french fries.
Now he's got a Miata side bitch, and the Odyssey and he can't wait to get to the point where he needs to sell it, but he also loves the utility. Doesn't tow with it though.
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SUV for 15k rules out the American offerings that are still decent.

Odyssey is on the list, but hard to get for 15k with under 100k miles.

Stick with the Japanese offerings would be my advice.
XTerra
4Runner
Rav4
CR-V
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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razr390
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[user not found] wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:48 am
Melon wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:27 am SUV for 15k rules out the American offerings that are still decent.

Odyssey is on the list, but hard to get for 15k with under 100k miles.

Stick with the Japanese offerings would be my advice.
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So, cheap, three rows, and must tow.

This is going to be a 2/3 situation. Can't have all 3.

Three row SUVs that can tow are not cheap.
Ford Excusrion. /bread
:doughnut: :narc: :doughnut:
Desertbreh wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2019 3:05 pm DFD. The forum where everybody makes the same choices and then tells anybody trying to join the club that they are the stupidest motherfucker to ever walk the earth.
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Tahoe
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 11:15 amTahoe
:dat:
The 3rd row isn't worth a damn in these but it'll fit the bill otherwise and will have no issue towing.
A JGC isn't a horrible option either, but used pricing might be ridiculous because Jeep.

Xterras are a great value on the used market and should tow just fine. Or Pathfinder I guess is the one with 3rd row.

As an alternative to a 4Runner, look at a Lexus GX. You can usually get more car for your money in that, and they have a better engine (V8) for towing.
Last edited by Johnny_P on Mon Aug 21, 2017 11:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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ChrisoftheNorth
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Melon wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 11:15 amTahoe
It's probably one of the best options that fits the criteria.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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troyguitar
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https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... =CHEXP1500

3-row V8 4x4 w/ tow package under $15k with 35k farts, done.
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ChrisoftheNorth
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troyguitar wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:33 pm https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... =CHEXP1500

3-row V8 4x4 w/ tow package under $15k with 35k farts, done.
Oh wow, I didn't know there was an AWD version.

:mindblown: :notbad:
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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troyguitar
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Detroit wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:36 pm
troyguitar wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:33 pm https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... =CHEXP1500

3-row V8 4x4 w/ tow package under $15k with 35k farts, done.
Oh wow, I didn't know there was an AWD version.

:mindblown: :notbad:
:word:

Van >> minivan >> :truk:
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One kid. Better buy a club wagon. Wait :wtf:
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Clownshoobie
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Thank youse! Lemme qualify a bit. Of the priorities, the third row is the lowest. I need to be able to tow cars on open trailers for relatively short distances, so I think 5-6k capacity is plenty. There's one other consideration: My 14-year-old-son is a obsessive car guy (he can drive my manual Z3 M Coupe smooth like butter), is a design Nazi, has no need for functionality, and no sense of money. He thinks we can get a (post ugly) Durango in our budget. Thoughts?
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troyguitar wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:33 pm https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... =CHEXP1500

3-row V8 4x4 w/ tow package under $15k with 35k farts, done.
Goddam that's ugly. Useful doe.
Detroit wrote:Buy 911s instead of diamonds.
Johnny_P wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2023 3:21 pm Earn it and burn it, Val.
max225 wrote: Mon May 01, 2023 5:35 pm Yes it's a cool car. But prepare the lube/sawdust.
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ChrisoftheNorth
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Clownshoobie wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:54 pm Thank youse! Lemme qualify a bit. Of the priorities, the third row is the lowest. I need to be able to tow cars on open trailers for relatively short distances, so I think 5-6k capacity is plenty. There's one other consideration: My 14-year-old-son is a obsessive car guy (he can drive my manual Z3 M Coupe smooth like butter), is a design Nazi, has no need for functionality, and no sense of money. He thinks we can get a (post ugly) Durango in our budget. Thoughts?
Define post ugly.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Tar
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troyguitar wrote:https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... =CHEXP1500

3-row V8 4x4 w/ tow package under $15k with 35k farts, done.
:awkwardhardon:
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Melon
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Clownshoobie wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:54 pm Thank youse! Lemme qualify a bit. Of the priorities, the third row is the lowest. I need to be able to tow cars on open trailers for relatively short distances, so I think 5-6k capacity is plenty. There's one other consideration: My 14-year-old-son is a obsessive car guy (he can drive my manual Z3 M Coupe smooth like butter), is a design Nazi, has no need for functionality, and no sense of money. He thinks we can get a (post ugly) Durango in our budget. Thoughts?
Define Post Ugly?
None were really lookers.

Kind of frumpy, but :notbad:
Image

Frumplestilskin
Image
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon
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troyguitar wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 12:33 pm https://www.autotrader.com/cars-for-sal ... =CHEXP1500

3-row V8 4x4 w/ tow package under $15k with 35k farts, done.
That's legit.

BRUBVAN
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Clownshoobie
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Melon wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 1:08 pm
Define Post Ugly?
None were really lookers.

Kind of frumpy, but :notbad:
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Frumplestilskin
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No, those won't play...

I realize that the parameters might be impossible, but if anyone can solve it, DFDers can.
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ChrisoftheNorth
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You mean the Mercedes one?
Image

If you don't get a V8 and don't care about mileage, it's doable.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:40 pm My guess would be that Chris took some time off because he has read the dialogue on this page 1,345 times and decided to spend some of his free time doing something besides beating a horse to death.
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Apex
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Image

Exploder? :iono:

AWD, 3rd row seating, tow package, can get with under 100k miles.
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Johnny_P
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Apex wrote: Mon Aug 21, 2017 1:37 pm Image

Exploder? :iono:

AWD, 3rd row seating, tow package, can get with under 100k miles.
Free carbon monoxide injection system too. You'll sleep great. We promise.
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