The Sno Show - Tales of Wedding Fuckery

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Sno wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:28 pm Through the wedding planning process, the couple is just raped over costs. It's so many people trying to make money off of them.

When we placed orders for things, we specifically left out the word "Wedding" because of the markup. Oh you want to rent these tables and chairs? What's the event? Oh wedding? SWEET! 3X THE PRICE BRAH!
Oh you want 120 cupcakes and shits? Wedding? NO PROB! We have a special wedding *package*!!
Kendra's hairstylist tried to get her into a wedding package at 4X the price when all she wanted was her hair and makeup done before it. "I don't want a whole half day affair bish, I just want my hair and makeup done in under 2 hours and then I'm going to my house to help prep for the party"

Our thing was "family gathering" so we didn't get raped on the big "W" word.
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Acid666 wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:46 pm
Sno wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:28 pm Through the wedding planning process, the couple is just raped over costs. It's so many people trying to make money off of them.

When we placed orders for things, we specifically left out the word "Wedding" because of the markup. Oh you want to rent these tables and chairs? What's the event? Oh wedding? SWEET! 3X THE PRICE BRAH!
Oh you want 120 cupcakes and shits? Wedding? NO PROB! We have a special wedding *package*!!
Kendra's hairstylist tried to get her into a wedding package at 4X the price when all she wanted was her hair and makeup done before it. "I don't want a whole half day affair bish, I just want my hair and makeup done in under 2 hours and then I'm going to my house to help prep for the party"

Our thing was "family gathering" so we didn't get raped on the big "W" word.
This is totally fine. But keep in mind the pressure a wedding holds. You can leave out "wedding" all you want. But if the cake delivery is running 15 minutes late and that is going to severely affect your schedule/guests/vendors, you don't get to come back "this is my WEDDING!! the biggest day of my LIFE!!" Companies need to know it's a wedding because they are going to put their best staff, ample time, priority focus, etc. on the product. If you don't care that you are maybe getting B squad and just want people fed and dranked, go on with your bad self.

There is an intense level of pressure the wedding industry works under every single weekend. Good vendors don't usually upcharge for weddings, it's not really a thing. We don't particularly care, it's A game no matter what.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:55 pm
Acid666 wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:46 pm


When we placed orders for things, we specifically left out the word "Wedding" because of the markup. Oh you want to rent these tables and chairs? What's the event? Oh wedding? SWEET! 3X THE PRICE BRAH!
Oh you want 120 cupcakes and shits? Wedding? NO PROB! We have a special wedding *package*!!
Kendra's hairstylist tried to get her into a wedding package at 4X the price when all she wanted was her hair and makeup done before it. "I don't want a whole half day affair bish, I just want my hair and makeup done in under 2 hours and then I'm going to my house to help prep for the party"

Our thing was "family gathering" so we didn't get raped on the big "W" word.
This is totally fine. But keep in mind the pressure a wedding holds. You can leave out "wedding" all you want. But if the cake delivery is running 15 minutes late and that is going to severely affect your schedule/guests/vendors, you don't get to come back "this is my WEDDING!! the biggest day of my LIFE!!" Companies need to know it's a wedding because they are going to put their best staff, ample time, priority focus, etc. on the product. If you don't care that you are maybe getting B squad and just want people fed and dranked, go on with your bad self.

There is an intense level of pressure the wedding industry works under every single weekend. Good vendors don't usually upcharge for weddings, it's not really a thing. We don't particularly care, it's A game no matter what.
Oh I totally get the timing/pressure thing, which is why we worked out to get everything beforehand except the catering. And the catering was done by a place literally a street over from me whom my mom is best friends with the owner. So he knew it was a wedding, but wouldn't of upped the charges for catering a wedding. We got quotes for chairs and other things and the second we said wedding, the peoples tone changed and it all became a big upsale from what we wanted.

We just called another event rental place and didn't say shit and the price stayed normal.
We picked up the cupcakes 2 days prior so we wouldn't have to deal with anything but hot food on the day of the wedding.
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Sno wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:28 pm
Desertbreh wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:24 pm

I am in no way taking any shots at you. Just curious. Don't you have to do a helluva lot more work for a 350 person wedding than a 29 person wedding? Shouldn't I expect to pay less if just 29 of my best brohams drinking a keg of IPA and putting a pig in the ground and shouldn't I expect to pay more if I'm doing a massive frilly thing pictured above^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^?
and wap.

No shots taken, it's a valid question. Traditionally, in the wedding biz, prices per head are only configured by tangible products. Meals, florals, etc. If I have done my job correctly, headcount truly doesn't make any more or less work for my team specifically. Of course, every once in a while we get screwed and we are moving 250 down chairs to a ceremony site and back up a set of stairs to the reception space (did it in September) or we're lighting extra candles because 350 people means more tables with candles than a wedding of 29. But that is never something I would charge extra for.

Come wedding day, if it's all lined up correctly and I have done my job well, we are simply coordinating. I am telling the catering staff to start asking the 350 guests to move from the cocktail hour to their seats in the reception. I am directing the florist delivery team to put the tall centerpieces on these tables and the low ones on those. I am running to the venue staff to get power back to the kitchen after a blown breaker. All things that need to be handled on the day of but shouldn't be done by the bride or her family.

It's no extra work for me to coordinate, communicate, confirm, etc. with vendors if there are 29 napkins being ordered and delivered of 350. The catering team folds the napkins (we do it if we have to, again, jump in where needed, if needed.)

Don't get me wrong, a majoirty of my job is heavy lifting and sweating. I am truly worthless on a Sunday after a wedding. But it's mostly from standing for 18+ hours and just straight up moving, running, being physical for that amount of time. I put in 32,000 steps this past Saturday. Are smaller weddings easier? Absolutely. But a restaurant isn't going to charge you less for a filet mignon than a Beef Bourguignon because the filet is easier to cook.

I have just built my business on not nickling diming as well as under promising and over delivering. Through the wedding planning process, the couple is just raped over costs. It's so many people trying to make money off of them. I have found more success in saying the price is the price. And then jumping in on things I know that cause little work to my team but a huge impact in helpfulness to my couple.

It's also important to keep in mind we rarely see a wedding under 100 people. There are several ways to charge for wedding planning. Traditionally, planners were paid a percentage of the budget. But weddings have taken such a different life in the past ten years that is not a realistic business plan any more.
Logical explanation is logical.
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Sno wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:28 pm
Desertbreh wrote: Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:24 pm

I am in no way taking any shots at you. Just curious. Don't you have to do a helluva lot more work for a 350 person wedding than a 29 person wedding? Shouldn't I expect to pay less if just 29 of my best brohams drinking a keg of IPA and putting a pig in the ground and shouldn't I expect to pay more if I'm doing a massive frilly thing pictured above^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^?
and wap.

No shots taken, it's a valid question. Traditionally, in the wedding biz, prices per head are only configured by tangible products. Meals, florals, etc. If I have done my job correctly, headcount truly doesn't make any more or less work for my team specifically. Of course, every once in a while we get screwed and we are moving 250 down chairs to a ceremony site and back up a set of stairs to the reception space (did it in September) or we're lighting extra candles because 350 people means more tables with candles than a wedding of 29. But that is never something I would charge extra for.

Come wedding day, if it's all lined up correctly and I have done my job well, we are simply coordinating. I am telling the catering staff to start asking the 350 guests to move from the cocktail hour to their seats in the reception. I am directing the florist delivery team to put the tall centerpieces on these tables and the low ones on those. I am running to the venue staff to get power back to the kitchen after a blown breaker. All things that need to be handled on the day of but shouldn't be done by the bride or her family.

It's no extra work for me to coordinate, communicate, confirm, etc. with vendors if there are 29 napkins being ordered and delivered of 350. The catering team folds the napkins (we do it if we have to, again, jump in where needed, if needed.)

Don't get me wrong, a majoirty of my job is heavy lifting and sweating. I am truly worthless on a Sunday after a wedding. But it's mostly from standing for 18+ hours and just straight up moving, running, being physical for that amount of time. I put in 32,000 steps this past Saturday. Are smaller weddings easier? Absolutely. But a restaurant isn't going to charge you less for a filet mignon than a Beef Bourguignon because the filet is easier to cook.

I have just built my business on not nickling diming as well as under promising and over delivering. Through the wedding planning process, the couple is just raped over costs. It's so many people trying to make money off of them. I have found more success in saying the price is the price. And then jumping in on things I know that cause little work to my team but a huge impact in helpfulness to my couple.

It's also important to keep in mind we rarely see a wedding under 100 people. There are several ways to charge for wedding planning. Traditionally, planners were paid a percentage of the budget. But weddings have taken such a different life in the past ten years that is not a realistic business plan any more.
Makes sense, thanks for the explanation.
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Crypt stories a bit different as we are off until December 15th but fuck me if there isn’t still drama.

For those of you that aren’t caught up, about August of this year I partnered my company with a local caterer who is my work husband to purchase a venue here in Columbus, IN. My company is still very independent, I am essentially the exclusive planning for the space. Basically, neither of us could do it by ourselves but could do it if the other was there to lend a hand as needed, in both planning and his side of it. Ask if this needs more explanation but for now, that’s all you need to know for the following story.

I grab lunch with work husband earlier this week where he gets a phone call from our landlord. (She’s nosy, an alcoholic and frankly a pain in our ass.) WH puts it on speaker phone as he’s going to have to relay to me anyway. She asks “who got divorced??”

We both raise an eyebrow. Uhhh, ..I dunno. Who? :iono:

She proceeds to ramble on about this flier she got in the mail about an auction being held in our space this coming Sunday (today.) for divorce assets. W.t.f.

We ask her to send a picture of the flier and hang up.

Image

I’m going to let you all read that fine print carefully and sum it up here in a second. I ask WH what the fuq is going on. Things immediately start clicking after he sees the flier.

He had booked an event in the space late last week under the pretense it was a “Persian rug sale (not an auction, WAY different in the event world.) for 25 people and they only needed two tables.” :facepalm:

He had signed a contract. But had not yet had a chance to run their deposit check to the bank.

At this point, take a look at that fine print if you haven’t already. “Hand signed guaranteed with documentation Degas, Renoir, Monet, etc...” :idbu:

So not only is this all super fraudulent, this flyer went out to 50,000 people! 3 fucking counties!! And we have about three days to figure out what the hell is going on.

Thanks to Governing Law, we could cancel the event pretty easily. (In the state of Indiana, if holding an auction, ANY documentation of the event including publicizing must have the Auctioneer name and ID number who must be registered with the state. There are a whole other set of regulations we would even have to jump through if we DID want to hold an auction. None of which are important to the story other to know you can’t just hold an auction.)

But the issue was the possible even fraction of 50,000 morons showing up thinking they are taking home a legitimate Renoir painting.

I left the issue in the hands of my partner since he’s the moron who booked it and have not yet received an update from the day. Last I heard we were putting signs on the door and locking up. :disappoint:

I could strangle him.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Melon wrote: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:07 pm Official Sno policy: :aintcare:
I saw him yesterday morning and left him with "handle it." :angry: / :aintcare:
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:16 pm
Melon wrote: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:07 pm Official Sno policy: :aintcare:
I saw him yesterday morning and left him with "handle it." :angry: / :aintcare:
I can *see* the facial expression and fingers snaps that damn sure should have gone along with this. Oh man. :Wtf:
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holy shit, thats an epic, epic fail...
brain go brrrrrr
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stripethree wrote:
Sno wrote: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:16 pm I saw him yesterday morning and left him with "handle it." :angry: / :aintcare:
I can *see* the facial expression and fingers snaps that damn sure should have gone along with this. Oh man. :Wtf:
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Holy :wtf: Batman!
:wap: Where are these mangos?
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stripethree wrote: Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:14 pm
Sno wrote: Sun Dec 03, 2017 5:16 pm

I saw him yesterday morning and left him with "handle it." :angry: / :aintcare:
I can *see* the facial expression and fingers snaps that damn sure should have gone along with this. Oh man. :Wtf:
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Lol you guys. Had a girl puke in the middle of her initial consult (introductory meeting, means they aren’t signed yet) this morning. Had to stop me in the middle of it, ran to the bathroom and returned to say “any time I have to start taking about weddings I just have to puke.” Not pregnant (that she knows of, but...)

Signed her doe. And had a girl stop me on the way out and ask for my card after saying “if you can handle that, I’m going to need you.”

I live in crazy town.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:25 pm Lol you guys. Had a girl puke in the middle of her initial consult (introductory meeting, means they aren’t signed yet) this morning. Had to stop me in the middle of it, ran to the bathroom and returned to say “any time I have to start taking about weddings I just have to puke.” Not pregnant (that she knows of, but...)

Signed her doe. And had a girl stop me on the way out and ask for my card after saying “if you can handle that, I’m going to need you.”

I live in crazy town.
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Sno wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:25 pm And had a girl stop me on the way out and ask for my card after saying “if you can handle that, I’m going to need you.”
:notbad:
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You can be the girl that holds her hair back as she hugs the toilet all night!
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Sno wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:25 pm Lol you guys. Had a girl puke in the middle of her initial consult (introductory meeting, means they aren’t signed yet) this morning. Had to stop me in the middle of it, ran to the bathroom and returned to say “any time I have to start taking about weddings I just have to puke.” Not pregnant (that she knows of, but...)

Signed her doe. And had a girl stop me on the way out and ask for my card after saying “if you can handle that, I’m going to need you.”

I live in crazy town.
:impressive: score! :fuckyeah:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
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Acid666 wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:16 pm You can be the girl that holds her hair back as she hugs the toilet all night!
Not in my contract...

We even have a "no bodily fluids" portion of our contract. Because nope.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:57 pm
Acid666 wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:16 pm You can be the girl that holds her hair back as she hugs the toilet all night!
Not in my contract...

We even have a "no bodily fluids" portion of our contract. Because nope.
:wtf:
What does that mean, exactly? You're not responsible for any "deposits" of said fluids on any carpeting, upholstery, clothing/uniforms, etc? :iono:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
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wap wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:08 pm
Sno wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 3:57 pm

Not in my contract...

We even have a "no bodily fluids" portion of our contract. Because nope.
:wtf:
What does that mean, exactly? You're not responsible for any "deposits" of said fluids on any carpeting, upholstery, clothing/uniforms, etc? :iono:
Not responsible for cleaning up :drunk: puke.
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4zilch wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:06 pm
wap wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 4:08 pm
:wtf:
What does that mean, exactly? You're not responsible for any "deposits" of said fluids on any carpeting, upholstery, clothing/uniforms, etc? :iono:
Not responsible for cleaning up :drunk: puke.
:dat:

Or dog poop from the family dog they had to have at the ceremony.

Or blood. Just flat out not responsible for blood. Groomsmen fights, bloody noses from stress, etc.

But mostly drunk puke.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:16 pm
4zilch wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:06 pm

Not responsible for cleaning up :drunk: puke.
:dat:

Or dog poop from the family dog they had to have at the ceremony.

Or blood. Just flat out not responsible for blood. Groomsmen fights, bloody noses from stress, etc.

But mostly drunk puke.
:disgust:
I guess it's smart to protect yourself that way. I can see some :fullretard: :jackass: bride tell the owner of the hall to "talk to my wedding planner" about the puddle of :gag: she or her new husband just left in the middle of the lobby because they didn't make it to the bathroom in time.
:nope:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Sno wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:16 pm
4zilch wrote: Mon Dec 11, 2017 5:06 pm

Not responsible for cleaning up :drunk: puke.
:dat:

Or dog poop from the family dog they had to have at the ceremony.

Or blood. Just flat out not responsible for blood. Groomsmen fights, bloody noses from stress, etc.

But mostly drunk puke.
I love watching people drunk puke. Because it's like a recurring thing on Amazon Prime that keeps coming over and over. You don't just get that initial puke, you get the recurring rotation of next months paper towels and toilet paper.

Last time I watched a passed out girl at a bar puke it was amazing. Sitting at a table outside, arms folded, head resting into the arms.
In all her glory, she picked her head up with her arms still on the table... Eyes closed. *BRAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT* all over her folded arms (she was wearing a sweater too). She then proceeded to rest her head right back on her arms. It looked like she vomited fruity pebbles and lentils.
30 seconds later... AMAZON PRIME DELIVERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And it was funny all over again.
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My bride for tomorrow just haaaaaad to go to New York this week. (This is such a long story, I won’t even.)

Bride’s flight home just got canceled.

Best get to drivin’, girl. Your ceremony is at 6:00.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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