The Sno Show - Tales of Wedding Fuckery

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Acid666 wrote: Mon Oct 16, 2017 10:36 am
Sno wrote: Mon Oct 16, 2017 10:18 am

The Doo! - formally known at Zanna-doo. Ran by Blonde Entertainment out of Indianapolis.
http://www.thedooband.com/#pagetop

Videos on the website on performances.

Oh no. He's a bassist. God no. He's my kin, but I can't accept it.
:lolol:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Sno wrote:I'm not sure if crypt stories feel particularly light this morning because my perspective on my asinine job is starting to change after seeing all of these compiled in one place or if because some weddings just have better vibes than others, even if there were firm alarms, assault charges and a lead guitarist of a wedding band that looks like the child of Gene Simmons and John Travolta.

In case you missed it earlier in the thread, we were on the 48th floor of the Salesforce building in Indianapolis. I don't expect any of you to be familiar with the Indianapolis skyline so for reference:

You are here:
Image

No vendors were allowed access to space until two hours prior to the start time. In the wedding world, this throws wedding vendors into a fucking tailspin. Florists, caterers, bands, planners, all freaking out over the fact that we are supposed to set, prep and pretend like we didn't just finish lighting the last candle as the bride turns the corner to see it all for the first time. This also includes a wardrobe change for most of us as we set up in sweats and tennis shoes and then change into boring/professional/yet wedding appropriate/but completely fades into the background attires.

As we are all sitting in the lobby of the Salesforce building yesterday, basically pounding on the door for access to the space early, emergency notification alarms start blaring. The florist and band are in the basement of the building, unloading in the loading dock. Florist reports there are sprinklers going off in the basement. Couple things to question:
-they're going off because of a fire?
-all of the bands gear is where?...

Video from above is while we are sitting in the lobby trying to figure out what the fuck is going on and if this is going to cut us even closer on set up time. Turns out to be our favor because the security gaurd ends up sending us up, contrary to venue manager telling him we weren't allowed yet, because getting us out of his hair while we were all demanding to be able to do our jobs made his life a fraction easier in the heat of the moment while he dealt with the emergency responders.

Never got the full story on what was going on but band was fine and we simply got to listen to the alarms go off every two minutes for the remainder of set up. Finally told super cunt venue manager if she didn't have the noise notification pulled from at least our floor her day was going to get much much worse. (The couple paid $40,000 to rent this venue. Numbers that a venue manager would have to answer to if someone were demanding a refund because they were all miserable during their wedding ceremony.)

Other than that, the major events:
-Guest charged with assault: It was so early on in the night, I don't think salads have even been served. He was caught by a catering server with a flask of Jameson. (open top shelf bar provided by the couple. :butwhy: ) Catering and venues always have CRAZY strict rules on this because they are making insane amounts of money off of the bar. Any outside alcohol is basically treated as if you brought in Adolf Hilter himself. Server catches the flask and confiscates it from him. In the tussle, the guest grabbed the arm of the server. In her attention seeking glory, she claims assault. I didn't actually see any of this go down so I shouldn't be accusatory but from the details I gathered later in the night, sever was wildly overreacting, guest was not even drunk, could have easily been handled by simply removing the flask and telling the guest he could retrieve it at the end of the night. But instead, the venue manager gets top-level management involved and they remove the guest for the night. Way to piss off your clients, guys.

Band member that was the child of John Travolta and Gene Simmons proof:

Image

Hair was real. Drunk bridesmaids insisted on petting him all night.

Trex also made an appearance. Probably the closest I've come to wetting my pants coming around the corner of the venue to this guy zipping up this suit in a back hallway.



I actually really loved this couple and their pictures should end up being gorgeous. I don't know how well panoramics are going to come through on here but...

Image

Image

Also, pie nachos were served as dessert. (Pie crust cut into tortilla chip shapes. Served with pie fillings, whipped cream, etc. to put on top. So much yes even if I didn't get a great photo.)

Image



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That guy! I've seen that band play a few times at the Rathskeller. They're really a halfway decent cover band.

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coogles wrote: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:06 pm
Sno wrote:Wedding shit
That guy! I've seen that band play a few times at the Rathskeller. They're really a halfway decent cover band.

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Holy shit! An Indy resident?!
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:23 pm
coogles wrote: Mon Oct 16, 2017 9:06 pm That guy! I've seen that band play a few times at the Rathskeller. They're really a halfway decent cover band.

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Holy shit! An Indy resident?!
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Big Brain Bradley wrote: Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:36 am http://cheezburger.com/3710469/35-awful ... dings-ever

relevant content
We do this meeting called "family dynamics" where we literally note all the crazies, drunks, restraining orders, affairs, etc. With our couple so we can be as prepared as possible. I mean, we note diabetics, fainting spells, etc. too but it's always interesting to have to go over the insanity of some people's families.

First three rules of weddings:
1. No exs invited.
2. Don't lock your knees.
3. One water for every alcoholic beverage.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:57 am
Big Brain Bradley wrote: Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:36 am http://cheezburger.com/3710469/35-awful ... dings-ever

relevant content
We do this meeting called "family dynamics" where we literally note all the crazies, drunks, restraining orders, affairs, etc. With our couple so we can be as prepared as possible. I mean, we note diabetics, fainting spells, etc. too but it's always interesting to have to go over the insanity of some people's families.

First three rules of weddings:
1. No exs invited.
2. Don't lock your knees.
3. One water for every alcoholic beverage.
But without exes where would all the really juicy stores come from?

Like Dubshow's story? :lol:
brain go brrrrrr
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Sno wrote: Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:57 am 3. One water for every alcoholic beverage.
DRINK ALL THE GIN!

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4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon wrote: Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:59 am
Sno wrote: Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:57 am 3. One water for every alcoholic beverage.
DRINK ALL THE GIN!

Image
Actual illustration of guests at Zilch wedding.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Pulling a 33-page proposal off the printer for a massive event for next year including high profile entertainment I'm not allowed to talk about just yet. Securing this would be :fuckyeah: Send me good vibes for tomorrow.

Crypt stories from this weekend: we were double booked with a wedding and a formal fundraising event both on Saturday. I am still exhausted and left the wedding site about noon. I heard two centerpieces literally caught fire but other than that, haven't met with my team to get the full debrief. Bride called yesterday to say everything was beautiful, the groom passed out by 10:00 pm and the bartender got so drunk he gave himself a concussion and had to be picked up by his wife. Zilch got to swing through the fundraising event which helped. Other than that, I just completed week 10 of a ten-week stretch of weddings and events back to back to back. I don't really want to talk about them.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:25 pm Pulling a 33-page proposal off the printer for a massive event for next year including high profile entertainment I'm not allowed to talk about just yet. Securing this would be :fuckyeah: Send me good vibes for tomorrow.
Crushing 2018 before it even 2018. Good luck with the proposal!
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Sno wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:25 pm Pulling a 33-page proposal off the printer for a massive event for next year including high profile entertainment I'm not allowed to talk about just yet. Securing this would be :fuckyeah: Send me good vibes for tomorrow.

Crypt stories from this weekend: we were double booked with a wedding and a formal fundraising event both on Saturday. I am still exhausted and left the wedding site about noon. I heard two centerpieces literally caught fire but other than that, haven't met with my team to get the full debrief. Bride called yesterday to say everything was beautiful, the groom passed out by 10:00 pm and the bartender got so drunk he gave himself a concussion and had to be picked up by his wife. Zilch got to swing through the fundraising event which helped. Other than that, I just completed week 10 of a ten-week stretch of weddings and events back to back to back. I don't really want to talk about them.
YASSSS
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Sno wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:25 pm Pulling a 33-page proposal off the printer for a massive event for next year including high profile entertainment I'm not allowed to talk about just yet. Securing this would be :fuckyeah: Send me good vibes for tomorrow.

Crypt stories from this weekend: we were double booked with a wedding and a formal fundraising event both on Saturday. I am still exhausted and left the wedding site about noon. I heard two centerpieces literally caught fire but other than that, haven't met with my team to get the full debrief. Bride called yesterday to say everything was beautiful, the groom passed out by 10:00 pm and the bartender got so drunk he gave himself a concussion and had to be picked up by his wife. Zilch got to swing through the fundraising event which helped. Other than that, I just completed week 10 of a ten-week stretch of weddings and events back to back to back. I don't really want to talk about them.
Attached:
Vibes.PDF
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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stripethree wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:50 pm
Sno wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:25 pm Pulling a 33-page proposal off the printer for a massive event for next year including high profile entertainment I'm not allowed to talk about just yet. Securing this would be :fuckyeah: Send me good vibes for tomorrow.
Crushing 2018 before it even 2018. Good luck with the proposal!
:dat:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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[user not found] wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 4:37 pm
Melon wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:51 pm

Attached:
PontiacVibes.PDF
:notsure:
:iswydt:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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Sno wrote: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:25 pm Pulling a 33-page proposal off the printer for a massive event for next year including high profile entertainment I'm not allowed to talk about just yet. Securing this would be :fuckyeah: Send me good vibes for tomorrow.

Crypt stories from this weekend: we were double booked with a wedding and a formal fundraising event both on Saturday. I am still exhausted and left the wedding site about noon. I heard two centerpieces literally caught fire but other than that, haven't met with my team to get the full debrief. Bride called yesterday to say everything was beautiful, the groom passed out by 10:00 pm and the bartender got so drunk he gave himself a concussion and had to be picked up by his wife. Zilch got to swing through the fundraising event which helped. Other than that, I just completed week 10 of a ten-week stretch of weddings and events back to back to back. I don't really want to talk about them.
:fuckyeah:
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I recently updated our contracts based on some of my own business trends which means nothing to all of you. Except that some weddings will no longer include clean up so in turn, we aren’t around by the time people are hammered and drunken drama has a tendency to go down.

But it doesn’t mean we are short on drama!

I actually personally loved yesterday’s bride but I also only contracted her three weeks ago when shit hit the fan. She apparently has been making the venue and caterers life hell for months. But this particular caterer is known for nickeling and diming and they were not shy about it with this one.

Everything was in the same building yesterday but the venue has three floors. Restrooms and getting ready rooms on the first floor. Reception space and catering kitchen on the second floor. Ceremony space and second set of restrooms on the third floor.

So ceremony is at 4:30. I bring bride and groom upstairs from getting ready rooms at 3:45 so they can peek at their reception space which is 95% set. The whole idea, based on floor plans, apparently email threads I wasn’t a part of, and even additional expenses, was that ceremony would be on third floor. Reception on second, during reception, they would flip the third floor, remove the chairs and turn it into the dance floor with a second bar. Party would move back upstairs after the reception for open dancing. Essentially, the reception space was too tight for all of it.

So bride looks at reception space and says “where is the dance floor?” I look down at all three levels of floor plans that clearly state dance floor is on the third floor and respond “...on the third floor. Per the floor plans with the venue?...”

She says no. They’d specifically stated that dance floor should be in the reception space. Keep in mind, the reception space is entirely set. Tables with chairs and centerpieces and candles lit and water goblets full. DJ has already set an entire dance floor set up upstairs.

I say ok, we’ll get it fixed. Venue manager loses her shit over it. Like, throws a folder across the room loses her shit. We move an entire reception space and DJ has to move his entire set up. I have yet to hear who was actually in the wrong...

On top of this, the downstairs bathrooms flooded right after the ceremony. Which is all sorts of ironic because the last time my team was at this same venue, the third floor restrooms flooded so badly it leaked through the floor, right onto a guest table in the reception space.

I only got two pictures.
Third floor during the ceremony. Photography and videography team working.
Image

And dinner. Which is important to note. This was ours.
Image

A fellow wedding planner who had the exact same caterer last night, just at a different venue, was handed this.

Image

This is a “vendor meal” and the couples that spec it earn a special place in hell. You are essentially given the option when ordering your catering to serve your vendors, who have been on their feet for more than ten hours, usually had to skip lunch, and are the ones making your day actually happen, a shitty room temperature meal to save about $15.00 all together. It is one of the most insulting things you can do to your team.

Most vendors have gotten smart and write it in their contract that we are the be provided a hot guest meal. I have seen these sandwhich boxes sit out in the sun at outdoor weddings for hours. I’ve been at weddings where vendors have pooled money to order a pizza to the venue. It’s just a shit thing to do.


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Last edited by Sno on Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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I have a double post this morning, too, due to a mind blowing story that is making its way through the Indianapolis wedding industry but isn’t my direct story. But you guys have to hear it.

So Friday, we are at the venue for rehearsal. There is a Friday wedding at the same venue happening at the same time. A florist I work closely with and love is setting up the Friday wedding while I am there for rehearsal. She was actually working on her second wedding set up that day and stops me after rehearsal to give me the low down on the wedding she just got done setting up...

So last week, on Tuesday, the bride is supposed to meet with her planner for their final details meeting. This is normal. Bride messages the planner to say she is in bad shape, stomach pains, diarrhea, etc. Ok, Fair. Reschedule, rest up, etc, she needs to be at 100% for her wedding this weekend.

Tuesday evening she is still in a ton of pain, calls her Mom and tells her she thinks it might be appendicitis. Mom is all “omg, go to the emergency room. Like, now.”

Bride says she will wait it out :rolleyes: because she cant afford the ER copay and go in the morning if she is still feeling like shit. Mom says she will cover the damn copay. She still decides to wait it out. So so dumb.

So overnight, she is still on the toilet all night, it’s bad. So apparently, she all of a sudden gets this urge to squat. So she does. You guys. Out comes a 6 lb. 10 oz. BABY!! A fucking child! 21” long, full term. 40 week’s. Bitch had no fucking clue she was pregnant. Hand to God.

So there is blood everywhere. She is screaming, fiancé comes in and there is a baby on the floor. He calls the ambulance (bitch, you should have just paid the copay...) The paramedics confirm it’s a healthy full term baby and take everyone to the hospital.

She’s a petite girls, you guys. She had gained 12 lbs but thought it was just from wedding stress. She had been drinking like crazy the past couple weeks for bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.

So fiancé has to call her father, 4 days before the wedding, and tell him they now have this baby. :mindblown: They got married on Friday, baby in toe at the wedding. Unfreakingreal.


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Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:18 am

A fellow wedding planner who had the exact same caterer last night, just at a different venue, was handed this.

Image

This is a “vendor meal” and the couples that spec it earn a special place in hell. You are essentially given the option when ordering your catering to serve your vendors, who have been on their feet for more than ten hours, usually had to skip lunch, and are the ones making your day actually happen, a shitty room temperature meal to save about $15.00 all together. It is one of the most insulting things you can do to your team.

Most vendors have gotten smart and write it in their contract that we are the be provided a hot guest meal. I have seen these sandwhich boxes sit out in the sun at outdoor weddings for hours. I’ve been at weddings where vendors have pooled money to order a pizza to the venue. It’s just a shit thing to do.


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To me, this is just unbelievably unacceptable. I've worked in the service industry and I really enjoyed working my ass off for people that appreciated it.



Sno wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:34 am She’s a petite girls, you guys. She had gained 12 lbs but thought it was just from wedding stress. She had been drinking like crazy the past couple weeks for bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.
I can understand obese people not knowing their pregnant, but jesus christ... How the fuck?
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Sno wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:34 am I have a double post this morning, too, due to a mind blowing story that is making its way through the Indianapolis wedding industry but isn’t my direct story. But you guys have to hear it.

So Friday, we are at the venue for rehearsal. There is a Friday wedding at the same venue happening at the same time. A florist I work closely with and love is setting up the Friday wedding while I am there for rehearsal. She was actually working on her second wedding set up that day and stops me after rehearsal to give me the low down on the wedding she just got done setting up...

So last week, on Tuesday, the bride is supposed to meet with her planner for their final details meeting. This is normal. Bride messages the planner to say she is in bad shape, stomach pains, diarrhea, etc. Ok, Fair. Reschedule, rest up, etc, she needs to be at 100% for her wedding this weekend.

Tuesday evening she is still in a ton of pain, calls her Mom and tells her she thinks it might be appendicitis. Mom is all “omg, go to the emergency room. Like, now.”

Bride says she will wait it out :rolleyes: because she cant afford the ER copay and go in the morning if she is still feeling like shit. Mom says she will cover the damn copay. She still decides to wait it out. So so dumb.

So overnight, she is still on the toilet all night, it’s bad. So apparently, she all of a sudden gets this urge to squat. So she does. You guys. Out comes a 6 lb. 10 oz. BABY!! A fucking child! 21” long, full term. 40 week’s. Bitch had no fucking clue she was pregnant. Hand to God.

So there is blood everywhere. She is screaming, fiancé comes in and there is a baby on the floor. He calls the ambulance (bitch, you should have just paid the copay...) The paramedics confirm it’s a healthy full term baby and take everyone to the hospital.

She’s a petite girls, you guys. She had gained 12 lbs but thought it was just from wedding stress. She had been drinking like crazy the past couple weeks for bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.

So fiancé has to call her father, 4 days before the wedding, and tell him they now have this baby. :mindblown: They got married on Friday, baby in toe at the wedding. Unfreakingreal.


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That happened to me once, but it was just Taco Bell.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Sno wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:34 am I have a double post this morning, too, due to a mind blowing story that is making its way through the Indianapolis wedding industry but isn’t my direct story. But you guys have to hear it.

So Friday, we are at the venue for rehearsal. There is a Friday wedding at the same venue happening at the same time. A florist I work closely with and love is setting up the Friday wedding while I am there for rehearsal. She was actually working on her second wedding set up that day and stops me after rehearsal to give me the low down on the wedding she just got done setting up...

So last week, on Tuesday, the bride is supposed to meet with her planner for their final details meeting. This is normal. Bride messages the planner to say she is in bad shape, stomach pains, diarrhea, etc. Ok, Fair. Reschedule, rest up, etc, she needs to be at 100% for her wedding this weekend.

Tuesday evening she is still in a ton of pain, calls her Mom and tells her she thinks it might be appendicitis. Mom is all “omg, go to the emergency room. Like, now.”

Bride says she will wait it out :rolleyes: because she cant afford the ER copay and go in the morning if she is still feeling like shit. Mom says she will cover the damn copay. She still decides to wait it out. So so dumb.

So overnight, she is still on the toilet all night, it’s bad. So apparently, she all of a sudden gets this urge to squat. So she does. You guys. Out comes a 6 lb. 10 oz. BABY!! A fucking child! 21” long, full term. 40 week’s. Bitch had no fucking clue she was pregnant. Hand to God.

So there is blood everywhere. She is screaming, fiancé comes in and there is a baby on the floor. He calls the ambulance (bitch, you should have just paid the copay...) The paramedics confirm it’s a healthy full term baby and take everyone to the hospital.

She’s a petite girls, you guys. She had gained 12 lbs but thought it was just from wedding stress. She had been drinking like crazy the past couple weeks for bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.

So fiancé has to call her father, 4 days before the wedding, and tell him they now have this baby. :mindblown: They got married on Friday, baby in toe at the wedding. Unfreakingreal.


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:impressive:

I can imagine how messy that room was when a child popped out.
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Melon wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:33 am
Sno wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:34 am I have a double post this morning, too, due to a mind blowing story that is making its way through the Indianapolis wedding industry but isn’t my direct story. But you guys have to hear it.

So Friday, we are at the venue for rehearsal. There is a Friday wedding at the same venue happening at the same time. A florist I work closely with and love is setting up the Friday wedding while I am there for rehearsal. She was actually working on her second wedding set up that day and stops me after rehearsal to give me the low down on the wedding she just got done setting up...

So last week, on Tuesday, the bride is supposed to meet with her planner for their final details meeting. This is normal. Bride messages the planner to say she is in bad shape, stomach pains, diarrhea, etc. Ok, Fair. Reschedule, rest up, etc, she needs to be at 100% for her wedding this weekend.

Tuesday evening she is still in a ton of pain, calls her Mom and tells her she thinks it might be appendicitis. Mom is all “omg, go to the emergency room. Like, now.”

Bride says she will wait it out :rolleyes: because she cant afford the ER copay and go in the morning if she is still feeling like shit. Mom says she will cover the damn copay. She still decides to wait it out. So so dumb.

So overnight, she is still on the toilet all night, it’s bad. So apparently, she all of a sudden gets this urge to squat. So she does. You guys. Out comes a 6 lb. 10 oz. BABY!! A fucking child! 21” long, full term. 40 week’s. Bitch had no fucking clue she was pregnant. Hand to God.

So there is blood everywhere. She is screaming, fiancé comes in and there is a baby on the floor. He calls the ambulance (bitch, you should have just paid the copay...) The paramedics confirm it’s a healthy full term baby and take everyone to the hospital.

She’s a petite girls, you guys. She had gained 12 lbs but thought it was just from wedding stress. She had been drinking like crazy the past couple weeks for bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.

So fiancé has to call her father, 4 days before the wedding, and tell him they now have this baby. :mindblown: They got married on Friday, baby in toe at the wedding. Unfreakingreal.


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That happened to me once, but it was just Taco Bell.
:lolgasm:
As the only published author in a well-known motorcycle publication in the room...
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Sno
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Acid666 wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 9:10 am
To me, this is just unbelievably unacceptable. I've worked in the service industry and I really enjoyed working my ass off for people that appreciated it.
It is seriously the most insulting thing you can do to an individual who is working their ass off to make sure one of the most important days of your life goes flawlessly.

I almost always say seats aren’t even necessary. You do not need to pay for more linens, even an extra centerpiece sometimes so that we have guest seats. I’ve eaten in a mop closet before. But we deserve a hot meal. And treating us like the “help” just makes you a shitty human being.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno
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Apex wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:37 am

:impressive:

I can imagine how messy that room was when a child popped out.
I can’t help but say I would honestly be pissed as the fiancé. Like, how could you not know?!? I know every pregnancy is different but if the roles were reversed and Zilch all of a sudden had a child, I’d have a hard time not saying “you maybe should have known.”
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Johnny_P
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Sno wrote: Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:34 am I have a double post this morning, too, due to a mind blowing story that is making its way through the Indianapolis wedding industry but isn’t my direct story. But you guys have to hear it.

So Friday, we are at the venue for rehearsal. There is a Friday wedding at the same venue happening at the same time. A florist I work closely with and love is setting up the Friday wedding while I am there for rehearsal. She was actually working on her second wedding set up that day and stops me after rehearsal to give me the low down on the wedding she just got done setting up...

So last week, on Tuesday, the bride is supposed to meet with her planner for their final details meeting. This is normal. Bride messages the planner to say she is in bad shape, stomach pains, diarrhea, etc. Ok, Fair. Reschedule, rest up, etc, she needs to be at 100% for her wedding this weekend.

Tuesday evening she is still in a ton of pain, calls her Mom and tells her she thinks it might be appendicitis. Mom is all “omg, go to the emergency room. Like, now.”

Bride says she will wait it out :rolleyes: because she cant afford the ER copay and go in the morning if she is still feeling like shit. Mom says she will cover the damn copay. She still decides to wait it out. So so dumb.

So overnight, she is still on the toilet all night, it’s bad. So apparently, she all of a sudden gets this urge to squat. So she does. You guys. Out comes a 6 lb. 10 oz. BABY!! A fucking child! 21” long, full term. 40 week’s. Bitch had no fucking clue she was pregnant. Hand to God.

So there is blood everywhere. She is screaming, fiancé comes in and there is a baby on the floor. He calls the ambulance (bitch, you should have just paid the copay...) The paramedics confirm it’s a healthy full term baby and take everyone to the hospital.

She’s a petite girls, you guys. She had gained 12 lbs but thought it was just from wedding stress. She had been drinking like crazy the past couple weeks for bridal shower, bachelorette party, etc.

So fiancé has to call her father, 4 days before the wedding, and tell him they now have this baby. :mindblown: They got married on Friday, baby in toe at the wedding. Unfreakingreal.


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HOLY FUCK :bravo: :mindblown:
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