How life sucked donkey balls today: the :eeyore : thread

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Apex
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NeonJonny wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:04 am
SixSpeeder wrote: Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:22 pm At jury :poop: :flaccid:
I've yet to go to jury duty. I'm 29. :fuckyeah:
I was requested once, but it was for the wrong county.
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Apex wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:00 am
NeonJonny wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:04 am

I've yet to go to jury duty. I'm 29. :fuckyeah:
I was requested once, but it was for the wrong county.
Best jury duty for me was a mailman that got his dick bit by a pitbull. A girl rented her property out to her brother, brother had some bad dogs. Bad dogs got out and attacked mail man. Mail man fled but was knocked down and got bit in the dick.
There was pictures, and testimony. It was fucking crazy. The lawsuit was the mailman suing the owner of the home and the brother. We were tasked with coming up with the actual award amount, and assigning a % of the blame for both parties. The girl had her homeowners insurance lawyer, and the brother represented himself (which was pretty funny in itself)
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Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:13 am
Apex wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:00 am

I was requested once, but it was for the wrong county.
Best jury duty for me was a mailman that got his dick bit by a pitbull. A girl rented her property out to her brother, brother had some bad dogs. Bad dogs got out and attacked mail man. Mail man fled but was knocked down and got bit in the dick.
There was pictures, and testimony. It was fucking crazy. The lawsuit was the mailman suing the owner of the home and the brother. We were tasked with coming up with the actual award amount, and assigning a % of the blame for both parties. The girl had her homeowners insurance lawyer, and the brother represented himself (which was pretty funny in itself)
That would be a case worth sitting in on.
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Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:13 am
Apex wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:00 am

I was requested once, but it was for the wrong county.
Best jury duty for me was a mailman that got his dick bit by a pitbull. A girl rented her property out to her brother, brother had some bad dogs. Bad dogs got out and attacked mail man. Mail man fled but was knocked down and got bit in the dick.
There was pictures, and testimony. It was fucking crazy. The lawsuit was the mailman suing the owner of the home and the brother. We were tasked with coming up with the actual award amount, and assigning a % of the blame for both parties. The girl had her homeowners insurance lawyer, and the brother represented himself (which was pretty funny in itself)
the award for the brother is a swift kick in the balls. :like:
brain go brrrrrr
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Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:13 am
Apex wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:00 am

I was requested once, but it was for the wrong county.
Best jury duty for me was a mailman that got his dick bit by a pitbull. A girl rented her property out to her brother, brother had some bad dogs. Bad dogs got out and attacked mail man. Mail man fled but was knocked down and got bit in the dick.
There was pictures, and testimony. It was fucking crazy. The lawsuit was the mailman suing the owner of the home and the brother. We were tasked with coming up with the actual award amount, and assigning a % of the blame for both parties. The girl had her homeowners insurance lawyer, and the brother represented himself (which was pretty funny in itself)
As always, you really deliver the true Louisiana Airboat content.
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D Griff wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:27 am
Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:13 am

Best jury duty for me was a mailman that got his dick bit by a pitbull. A girl rented her property out to her brother, brother had some bad dogs. Bad dogs got out and attacked mail man. Mail man fled but was knocked down and got bit in the dick.
There was pictures, and testimony. It was fucking crazy. The lawsuit was the mailman suing the owner of the home and the brother. We were tasked with coming up with the actual award amount, and assigning a % of the blame for both parties. The girl had her homeowners insurance lawyer, and the brother represented himself (which was pretty funny in itself)
As always, you really deliver the true Louisiana Airboat content.
Acid is from real :dill: airboat country.
brain go brrrrrr
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Big Brain Bradley wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:29 am
D Griff wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:27 am

As always, you really deliver the true Louisiana Airboat content.
Acid is from real :dill: airboat country.
:yesth:

I once did a day of demos in Lafayette. I went to this family owned production company and they were true Louisiana backwoods folk. They invited me and their employees over to their house after the demo, made me dinner, drove to procure "the best" boudin for me as I hadn't tried it. It was 5/7. Good people down there, very backwoods, but quality individuals.
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D Griff wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:34 am
Big Brain Bradley wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:29 am

Acid is from real :dill: airboat country.
:yesth:

I once did a day of demos in Lafayette. I went to this family owned production company and they were true Louisiana backwoods folk. They invited me and their employees over to their house after the demo, made me dinner, drove to procure "the best" boudin for me as I hadn't tried it. It was 5/7. Good people down there, very backwoods, but quality individuals.
Lafayette's pretty normal. But you go 30 minutes to an hour in any direction and it that's where you'll meet some real wacky people.
People here like to call Lafayette the "Austin of Louisiana", but LOL they're far from Austin liberalism. It's more of a "We're open to all sorts of types of things, if they're OUR types of things".
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Big Brain Bradley wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:25 am
Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:13 am

Best jury duty for me was a mailman that got his dick bit by a pitbull. A girl rented her property out to her brother, brother had some bad dogs. Bad dogs got out and attacked mail man. Mail man fled but was knocked down and got bit in the dick.
There was pictures, and testimony. It was fucking crazy. The lawsuit was the mailman suing the owner of the home and the brother. We were tasked with coming up with the actual award amount, and assigning a % of the blame for both parties. The girl had her homeowners insurance lawyer, and the brother represented himself (which was pretty funny in itself)
the award for the brother is a swift kick in the balls. :like:
The brother got in an argument with the mailman's lawyer over the term "Pull out". They were trying to pinpoint if brotherman (he was a huge black dude) closed the gate to his property after he pulled out of the driveway. Brotherman kept saying "I don't pull out, I back out bruh".
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Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:01 am
Big Brain Bradley wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:25 am

the award for the brother is a swift kick in the balls. :like:
The brother got in an argument with the mailman's lawyer over the term "Pull out". They were trying to pinpoint if brotherman (he was a huge black dude) closed the gate to his property after he pulled out of the driveway. Brotherman kept saying "I don't pull out, I back out bruh".
So what was the poor mailman finally awarded?
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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wap wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:19 pm
Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:01 am

The brother got in an argument with the mailman's lawyer over the term "Pull out". They were trying to pinpoint if brotherman (he was a huge black dude) closed the gate to his property after he pulled out of the driveway. Brotherman kept saying "I don't pull out, I back out bruh".
So what was the poor mailman finally awarded?
Shit, it's been a few years, but I think it was somewhere in the realm of about $300K. We figured a certain amount for pain and suffering, X amount for family counseling, X for insurance and medical bills. The dude was totally distraught and was too scared to leave the house, basically massive PTSD. His marriage was falling apart from it and that's where the counseling money came in. The shitty part, we only assigned 20% blame to the sister that owned the house, and 80% blame to brotherman. We gave her 20% responsibility because it came out in the testimony that she asked him 2 times to get rid of the dogs and he didn't, and she didn't follow up to make sure they were gone. These kinda people ain't got money, so we knew that Mr 80% wasn't going to pay up, and they'd likely only see 20% of the $300K from Sis's insurance company since they would..... We almost made his percentage higher because of this but I had to step in and remind them that according to the law our job was to assign blame, how much % each party is responsible for, and an amount. It's not our jobs to manipulate it where we knew it would be paid out.
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NeonJonny wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:04 am
SixSpeeder wrote: Tue Oct 31, 2017 1:22 pm At jury :poop: :flaccid:
I've yet to go to jury duty. I'm 29. :fuckyeah:
I'm 29 also, this was my first time
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I'd rather have a functioning dick and no PTSD than $300k
dyslexic wrote:DO YOU FEEL FEAR
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Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 4:17 pm
wap wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:19 pm

So what was the poor mailman finally awarded?
Shit, it's been a few years, but I think it was somewhere in the realm of about $300K. We figured a certain amount for pain and suffering, X amount for family counseling, X for insurance and medical bills. The dude was totally distraught and was too scared to leave the house, basically massive PTSD. His marriage was falling apart from it and that's where the counseling money came in. The shitty part, we only assigned 20% blame to the sister that owned the house, and 80% blame to brotherman. We gave her 20% responsibility because it came out in the testimony that she asked him 2 times to get rid of the dogs and he didn't, and she didn't follow up to make sure they were gone. These kinda people ain't got money, so we knew that Mr 80% wasn't going to pay up, and they'd likely only see 20% of the $300K from Sis's insurance company since they would..... We almost made his percentage higher because of this but I had to step in and remind them that according to the law our job was to assign blame, how much % each party is responsible for, and an amount. It's not our jobs to manipulate it where we knew it would be paid out.
Interesting.

Poor guy :doe: :( :flaccid: :jalepenis:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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SixSpeeder wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 4:26 pm I'd rather have a functioning dick and no PTSD than $300k
my junk is worth more than that imo.
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dubshow wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:50 pm
SixSpeeder wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 4:26 pm I'd rather have a functioning dick and no PTSD than $300k
my junk is worth more than that imo.
:notsure:
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 6:14 pm
dubshow wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:50 pm

my junk is worth more than that imo.
:notsure:
Welp. I am.
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Sno wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 6:14 pm
dubshow wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:50 pm

my junk is worth more than that imo.
:notsure:
:lolol:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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SixSpeeder wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 4:26 pm I'd rather have a functioning dick and no PTSD than $300k
:dat:

Sooo... like... was his :dong: recoverable, or just like... no :dong: ? I think that has to at least be in the neighborhood of seven figures.
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Ugh. Reorganization and some layoffs today. Not a huge impact in my office but one of those let go was my boss. I still have a job, but I'm uncertain about what my role is, who I actually report to, and what I'm supposed to be doing. There's more to it than what happened today, but I don't have a really great feeling about things. We have an all hands in a bit then more, smaller breakouts after. Hmmm.
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stripethree wrote: Tue Nov 28, 2017 2:50 pm Ugh. Reorganization and some layoffs today. Not a huge impact in my office but one of those let go was my boss. I still have a job, but I'm uncertain about what my role is, who I actually report to, and what I'm supposed to be doing. There's more to it than what happened today, but I don't have a really great feeling about things. We have an all hands in a bit then more, smaller breakouts after. Hmmm.
Woof. Sorry to hear this is the update.

You have a job wedding planning if you want it.
Desertbreh wrote: Tue Dec 05, 2017 1:58 pm At the risk of being sucked into your wedding planner decorative vortex, that is kind of cute.
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Sno wrote: Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:01 pm You have a job wedding planning if you want it.
:gtfo:

That'd go real well. I'd be drunk all the time and be real blunt to people about their poor life choices. Can you imagine me talking to the couple that had the surprise baby the day before that might not be the grooms? Muwhahaha.

I also may or may not have told a woman at a past wedding "you're married and have kids, your life is over" after she was lamenting how they never went out anymore. And no, it wasn't at your wedding.
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dubshow wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:51 pm
Sno wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 6:14 pm

:notsure:
Welp. I am.
Bidding starts @ $0.01.
$300,000 Reserve.
4zilch wrote: Mon Apr 12, 2021 8:46 am I'm a fucking failure.
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Melon wrote: Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:05 pm
dubshow wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:51 pm

Welp. I am.
Bidding starts @ $0.01.
$300,000 Reserve.
:dubshow:
:wap: Where are these mangos?
Detroit wrote: Fri Apr 16, 2021 1:19 pm I don't understand anything anymore.
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D Griff wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:27 am
Acid666 wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:13 am

Best jury duty for me was a mailman that got his dick bit by a pitbull. A girl rented her property out to her brother, brother had some bad dogs. Bad dogs got out and attacked mail man. Mail man fled but was knocked down and got bit in the dick.
There was pictures, and testimony. It was fucking crazy. The lawsuit was the mailman suing the owner of the home and the brother. We were tasked with coming up with the actual award amount, and assigning a % of the blame for both parties. The girl had her homeowners insurance lawyer, and the brother represented himself (which was pretty funny in itself)
As always, you really deliver the true Louisiana Airboat content.
:dat: :lolgasm:
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